To wonder what it is like having a baby at 40?

[jasmineseas]

Is it really notably different to when you are younger, or is it all much of a muchness ...?

I was only defending that ONE poster by trying to say she might have her reasons for HAVING to go to work When baby was four days old. The poster herself said no working, no eatie!

I never once said that was the normal thing to do, or anything!

I had my first at 43 so nothing to compare it to, I didn’t find it particularly exhausting, I too had no parents or family near by for support but I was financially in a much better position than when I was younger so had a cleaner for the first few months and didn’t have to go back to work.

There are pros and cons whatever age you have a baby.

Had mine at 38 and 41. Nothing to compare it to but I was knackered. All my NCT friends were younger than me and they were knackered too. So....

I have had children in 20s, 30s and had last one at 40. I was knackered with each of them!

I had my dc at 37 and 40. I was more tired st 40 because I also had a 3 year old! I was very active and sporty before I had the dc, and didn’t feel unfit at all compared to the younger mums I knew.

@ArgumentativeAardvaark*I didn’t suggest for a moment it was normal. I was an immigrant with no financial or social support. I actually threatened to leave the baby in the offices of the job centre if they didn’t help me and still they wouldn’t. So work it was. This absolutely nothing to do with anything though beyond the differences in recovery from pregnancy as a young woman vs an older one. So as you were.

@ChrissieKeller61 your post was massively flippant about being “back in the office 4 days later” and the clear implication was that this was nothing unusual. I am sorry that you had your child in such difficult circumstances and no help was available to you- this should not happen in the U.K., were you not in the U.K.?

Had my only child at 39. I would choose to do that again. It's horses for courses I think. Our parents and grandparents are dead bar one who isn't interested, we don't live near any of our siblings - so next to no family support. We did not have a babysitter of any description. I was very sad that my mum never met my child, she would have loved being a grandmother.

However at 39, I was more financially stable and more mature as a person than I would have been in my 20s and early 30s which perhaps makes me a better parent and solid finances made many things easier than they might have been. Found the pregnancy and early years hard going at times but I think we all do at any age. There were no particular fertility issues or medical complications or concerns apart from being induced due to suspected pre-eclampsia. My body recovered okay. It's hard to tell if it would have been much different when I was younger as I can't compare, but I have no complaints.

I had 1st at 29 ,2nd at 31 and 3rd at 40 planned , had an early missed miscarriage that dragged on, before 3rd so mentally had moments of worry but physically fine during the pregnancy . Did'nt see midwife until 15weeks as decided on no tests . Easy labour, easy baby, slept through from start unlike 1st two. Quickest recovery out of all 3 , was a really lovely time in all my families lives , so glad we went for it .

38 and 40. Conceived first time, no problems with births, reasonably quick with gas and air. Its different for everyone, whatever their age.

I had our first baby at 21 and am now pregnant with our 7th (yes you read that right) and I will have just turned 41 when I give birth.

I am absolutely loving this pregnancy and every single one has been different but I don't feel my age has made a difference at all.

I had my first and only at 40. I did find the pregnancy tough, sickness that seemed to last for 9 months and then had a difficult labour with an emergency c-section. Baby was v colicky, extremely stubborn about going on the bottle and I found the first 6 months very hard. But I don't think any of that had anything to do with my age. I was a slim healthy 40 year old.

DD is now 8, a lovely clever girl but still v stubborn! Advantages I would say, am more financially comfortable than I was in my twenties which allows me to work part time, more life experience and as she is my one and only very grateful that I have her. Disadvantages would be that only my Mum and mil are still alive but they are elderly and I don't live close to any other family so pretty much zero support.

Two words. Hard work!!
No regrets though

First at 35, due next just under the 40 wire. Body has not bounced back like I think it would have when I was younger. Sad about my mum being an older grandparent eg. she will be 70 when DC2 is 4. Otherwise, benefits are I'm a lot more calm and sensible than I was when I was younger. I know what's important. If I'd had one younger I'd be trying to drag it round the world with me.

I had my first at 40 - glowing pregnancy

2nd at 43 / had lots of minor uncomfortable niggles.

I have no stretch marks. Breasts are pretty much the same after bf twice for 18 months.

Body coped well even though I was "old".

My 47 year old friend has just had twins. Her first set are 17. She doesn't work and has a nanny to help this time around. Finding it tough.

First at 29 and last at 40. It's much of a muchness really. Birth was easier as your listened to better when your a experienced mum. I had the birth I wanted unlike when I was 29.

Pregnancy was pretty much the same. Definitely more tired at the end. Also I think I was a bit less tolerant of been kept up at night but maybe that feels that way as it's a more recent memory?

Overall 40 was better but I think that due to being a experienced patent by then more than my age. I was induced at 40 and went shopping at Tesco about a miles walk away straight after with my ID wrist band on as soon as they did the pessary. Maybe I was just more confident ( in hindsight maybe not my best idea but it was fine, I didnt give birth next to the frozen peas)

I think there are definite bonuses to being an older mum (though I’m not one!)

I know this is a different gap but here is my anecdata...I had my first at 17(!) and sat my AS levels weeks after (and got 4 As thankyouverymuch).

I’ve just had my second at 29 and physically it was much, much harder recovery. With my first I was shopping and walking miles with a 2 day old and this one I didn’t leave the house for about a week and then I struggled. Both similar births. Also with number one my boobs looked exactly the same before and after pregnancy and birth whereas this one has knackered them! Physically I’d say I was much closer to prime baby producing age as a teen.

Vanity aside, I’m much more chilled now, confident, financially secure and with a good support system.

If I had planned this baby I’d probably have kicked the can down the road until late thirties or early forties. I think for most of us 27-35 is where your career starts to gain some momentum. I’d only last year secured my first senior role and I feel a bit cut down in my prime.

I’m knackered now compared to younger me, and maybe I’d be more knackered in 7 years time, but I think how tired you feel is pretty inconsequential compared to all the other factors at play. I’d rather be tired than struggle financially, not have a career to go back to or be unsure of myself.

After trying for 9 years and an emergency ectopic, miscarriages etc, I conceived on my final round of ivf at 39, had my baby girl at 40 and she’s now 21 months.
It was a fairly big shock, I think after years of doing as we pleased, lots of travel, nearly every night spent on the beach watching sunsets, swimming, drinking etc..it was a big adjustment, but a happy adjustment.
In terms of energy, I’m not sure really as friends who had babies when they were 25 said the sleepless nights knackered them out too. I feel we’ve led a full life which was all about us and she adds so much to our lives, I’m so thankful she came along.

Had my first at 26 and my second at 43 - he’s now 16 months old (I’m now 45)
Not really found it any different tbh
Feel much the same!
I am pretty fit anyway and bounced back quickly and my second pregnancy was easier as with my first I had awful sickness
My second was a bit of a surprise but quite honestly an absolutely brilliant surprise as he’s the most fun highly cuddly little boy and I can’t imagine life without him
His big sister also absolutely dotes on him

I had mine at 33, 36, 38 & 41 and the worst pregnancy was my 3rd at 38...worst recovery (all 4 were c sections) was my 2nd..most stress was my 1st. I don’t think age has been a problem at all. I felt much more relaxed with everything by no. 4...

I had my first at almost 44

Wanted to be 30 ish but Mother Nature didn’t play ball and took 10yrs ttc and 5 private ivf to get there

Yes I’m older then all my friends who had kids

I’m a maternity nurse so I put our baby into a routine early on and was sleeping through 11-7 at 14w and 7-7 at 17w

So not any real sleep deprives tales and still sleeps well now at just 3. 2hr nap 1-3 and 730- 7/730 at night

But think I’m also more relaxed and chilled due to not wanting to go out and party every weekend

Tho could do it now as cabin fever due to corona lol

Seriously though Younger would have been nice but I’m stable now financially (or was before they big c)

Older does mean might not have gp. Sorry for your loss of parents

Df are both dead

My mom died 6yrs ago but dad ALive and dd gave him a new lewve kfc life after mum died

Baby 1 at 30. Pregnancy a breeze, but boy was I knackered for the next 6 years...She was NOT a sleeper! It was tough.
Baby 2 at 39. Pregnancy much harder, very uncomfortable. Nothing major, just much tireder but that could also have been due to circumstances (too long to detail!).
However, baby 2 has been much easier to deal with. Mostly, I suspect as I am far more confident/laid back and he sleeps much better. He's now 3 and I wouldn't change it for the world.
I know folks have a downer on older parents but the reality is that any of us might die at any age.
Our gap would have been smaller but I had a MC in between and was quite unwell for the best part of a year.
Do what suits you. 40 is not unusual to be having a baby these days.

First at 41; second at 43. I got pregnant naturally very quickly each time, and had reasonably straightforward pregnancies, at least nothing that was connected with my age . I had c-sections, again not connected with my age.
I think I have been more tired, certainly, but I also have a medical condition that makes me tired, which doesn’t help.