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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another teens sleeping in late post

101 replies

Busymum45 · 19/04/2020 20:13

My teenagers since the lockdown are up half the night and sleep in very late, most days till 1-2pm but eldest has slept till 5 some days!
I've now decided the mornings I leave them as it's my peaceful time , dh is decorating the house I work.at home atm. At around 1.30 I start waking.
To stop.my stress over it I decided as long as eldest gets uni work done and youngest does something constructive / creative ( no school work as GCSE yr) , they get fresh air every other day and we eat dinner together every evening that is reasonable.

What do others think esp those with teens

Am I being unreasonable with this plan ?

OP posts:
brassbrass · 20/04/2020 17:57

I do wake them if I haven't heard them moving around. Today DS2 didn't get up til noon though we have an agreement that he will be up by 10ish and do some exam revision everyday. DS1 is often up late but good at being up in the morning and mostly cheerful so I let him get on with it. He's got some online uni work to do and seems to be on top of it.

They both clear up after dinner every night, cook once a week and will deal with laundry as it builds up. They also helped blitz the kitchen yesterday and move furniture around post decorating. We've always had a rule that everyone contributes to the running of the house which has stood us in good stead in the teenage years.

We had a talk at the beginning of lockdown about not becoming nocturnal and sticking to a productive routine everyday which helped set some expectations. I think if they were sleeping in late treating the house like a hotel and not contributing then I'd have to have words! Can't be good for them physically or mentally.

Original poster
Busymum45 · 20/04/2020 18:24

I'm sure she's fine going into. a levels after months of nothing. College have said don't worry and only advised us to get one book , transferring from GCSE to.A level chemistry which we have.

OP posts:
Veterinari · 20/04/2020 18:59

I'm sure she's fine going into. a levels after months of nothing.
Clearly much smarter than I was Gringood luck to her

Original poster
Busymum45 · 20/04/2020 19:27

Well Gcses's are May so they would have had a few months of nothing anyway, its just a little sooner.
I dont know what you expect me to do? The school have sent nothing and the college have advised against starting the A level subjects.
If you have some bright ideas lets me know rather than critiscm.

OP posts:
Fidgety31 · 20/04/2020 19:35

if your kids are late teens - they are adults . You can’t really tell them what time to get up and set them routines !
It’s totally different to having a 13/14 yr old in the house who you still have to provide some structure to .

Original poster
Busymum45 · 20/04/2020 19:51

What about 15 years? What is the cut off then for not providing a routine?

OP posts:
Chickydoo · 20/04/2020 20:16

My boys 16 & 21 don't appear until 12.00-1.00pm
I don't mind about the sleeping late it's the laziness that annoys me. The 21 year old does absolutely nothing. No cooking, cleaning or even making a cup of tea. My DH is too soft with him, apparently I am too harsh.
Despite working FT & doing the majority of household stuff I am being unfair to ask that the boys help.
......and breathe......

Veterinari · 20/04/2020 20:36

Gosh @Busymum45 you sound delightful Confused

If you have some bright ideas lets me know rather than critiscm.

If by 'criticism' you mean me saying your daughter sounds bright and wishing her luck?

Hopefully she's not inherited your charming nature at least....

Also if you actually wanted any 'bright ideas' I did suggest making revision notes to consolidate her knowledge in my first post.

But it sounds like you just want to be an arsehole to people actually trying to be nice to you. What's the point of your cunty posts otherwise?

Original poster
Busymum45 · 20/04/2020 21:26

Ouch ! Don't like your use of language!

OP posts:
Original poster
Busymum45 · 20/04/2020 21:26

P.s I thought you were being sarcastic, so my apologies if you weren't I mis -interpreted,.....

OP posts:
Veterinari · 20/04/2020 21:48

Ouch ! Don't like your use of language!

Yes you clearly prefer passive aggressive side remarks.
I'm very happy to differ.

Original poster
Busymum45 · 20/04/2020 22:38

Eh? I just said I took your message the wrong way and apologised! Don't like your use of language though., there is no need for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Busymum45 · 20/04/2020 22:40

I haven't been an 'arsehole' as you put it, read back.on any replies! I just took your post the wrong way so calm down!

OP posts:
Scruffyoak · 20/04/2020 22:49

Mine slept all day last week. Today I woke him at 2.30 but he didnt actually properly wake up till gone 3

Scruffyoak · 20/04/2020 22:50

Son was also year 11...he really has nothing to do!

Scruffyoak · 20/04/2020 22:52

My son is gcse year and wants to do a practical course at uni. There really is nothing for him to do...

Holidayz · 20/04/2020 23:22

Mine are sleeping in, as am I.

My 13 year old starts her day around noon, she's back to "school" today and had finished all work set by 4pm so I can't really nag her to get up early. If she were at school then she wouldn't even be sitting down to start homework till 4.30 so sleeping in isn't making much difference to her work/time.

The other kid is another abandoned year 11. She's doing bits of learning for the A level courses she's hoping to take, but nothing set from her college (it's a conditional offer so they can't exactly set work for a subject in case a student doesn't get the grades to actually take it) School basically washed their hands on year 11 the day after the Ed minister said exams were cancelled.

What she is doing is self led but nowhere near a typical school day.

And for what it's worth, I did read the replies to busymum as a bit condescending. She seems to be in the same position as I am. Not all schools and colleges are the same

CremeEggThief · 20/04/2020 23:31

I also thought some replies to Busy were a bit strange.
My DS spent the whole summer in bed or out with his pals after his GCSES last year and it did him no harm before his A-levels. Kids need time to chill out and regroup, so don't stress if they're not in the right frame of mind for further study.

Original poster
Busymum45 · 20/04/2020 23:35

Thanks guys, I think some posters are just out for a fight!
Appreciate the replies x

OP posts:
Mattttttt · 21/04/2020 00:03

If your eldest is doing uni work then they are legally an adult, and you get no say in what time they wake up or go to bed.

LimitIsUp · 21/04/2020 00:11

Don't worry Busymum, you were the sane and reasonable one in that exchange!

I have a Year 11 and Y13 so both have had the rug pulled from under their feet and no 'school' / college work for either to give structure to their day

I oscillate over what to do for the best. Both are now nocturnal but that in itself isn't entirely the issue. The older one is productive once she surfaces, the younger one doesn't do much of anything - but he's 16 and I can only cajole and encourage rather than dictate. Well, I could dictate - but ultimately I believe that's counter productive.

sociallydistained · 21/04/2020 00:25

I'm 33 and slept in until midday today. Let the kids sleep!

Scruffyoak · 21/04/2020 13:13

Agree that year 11s were abandoned. He has NO school work to do.

user1487194234 · 21/04/2020 13:21

I leave mine to decide
I do that with most things
For the DC at Uni in particular surely it must be their decision

FilthyforFirth · 21/04/2020 13:26

As the pregnant parent of a 2.9 year old, I can only dream of this problem! Let them sleep I say. Unsettling times for all currently.