Another teens sleeping in late post

[Busymum45]

My teenagers since the lockdown are up half the night and sleep in very late, most days till 1-2pm but eldest has slept till 5 some days!
I've now decided the mornings I leave them as it's my peaceful time , dh is decorating the house I work.at home atm. At around 1.30 I start waking.
To stop.my stress over it I decided as long as eldest gets uni work done and youngest does something constructive / creative ( no school work as GCSE yr) , they get fresh air every other day and we eat dinner together every evening that is reasonable.

What do others think esp those with teens

Am I being unreasonable with this plan ?

We have 18yo DS1, he's usually out of his room by 12 but awake earlier - I can hear him at the moment and he's called out morning. If I hadn't heard him by 12 I think I'd probably give him a nudge, but thinking about it I'm not sure exactly why as it's not like he has anything to do! He usually goes to bed around 2 or 3am.

Why are you stressed about it? Did you not sleep in late as a teenager? I used to think midday was the crack of dawn as a teenager, as I got up at 2 or 3 pm on weekends and in holidays. I was used to staying in bed until midday from before I left primary school in holidays and at weekends. Everyone I know growing up in Ireland in the 90s did the same. It's certainly not a new thing and I don't understand the handwringing on here about it.

Sleeping in late is a useful strategy to help the day go faster, as anyone who has been unemployed or unable to work for health reasons, can testify. We all have to do what it takes to get through this time. As long as we keep to social distancing rules, anything goes in my opinion.

I only became aware that some parents are bothered about teenagers staying in bed late from Mumsnet a few years ago, in my mid-thirties. It had never occurred to me that it was something to worry about until then.

Making them sit down to lunch and dinner with us is really helping the family relationships. Usually we didn't even manage dinner more than two days a week because of sports etc.

My “norm” has never been up early, breakfast etc. I do get up at 5am for work 3 or 4 days per week (12 hour shifts), but on my days off can happily stay in bed until lunchtime.

My DSs are 22 & 19. Both home at the moment (one on furlough & one from uni). I don’t ever wake them up & don’t see a need to. Some days they’re up by 10 & some days not until 2. I really don’t understand anyone’s angst at that.

My children's apetites have fallen off a cliff even when i drastically stopped buying snacks.

Usually they would eat the leg off a table and I am still cooking for an army.

This week I am cutting back drastically on how much I cook because whilst they are still eating a dinner, the quantity that they take from what I lay out in bowls on the table has halved.

Everything has slowed down so much so they clearly don't need it and are self regulating.

Unfortunately I am not doing the same

DD's 12, and when term starts again tomorrow she has to log in before 9.15. I got them up early today and we had breakfast via Uber Eats as an incentive. Normally we'd have gone to McDonald's.

Thanks guys, I don;t know why me / others worry so much, my mum is a bit horrified and thinks they should be up in the mornings but at the moment it doesnt matter. At some point this year life will resume more normality, youngest off to college and eldest on a year out getting a job / travel.

Thank you all

The when i was growing up posts are totally rediculous.
Were you a teenager in a pandemic? Were u seperated from your friends and grandparents for weeks and weeks with no end in sight? Were you kept out of any shop that was open even though 90% of them were closed? Were your exams and school tours and all the normal stuff about being a teenager disrupted with no definate end in sight?
Cos unless it was then you have no idea what its like for the teenagers today.
So yes. Let them sleep if it makes the going a bit easier for everyone.
This is one time you cannot say 'in my day'. Because we have no idea what its like beem a teenager in a pandemic.

I must be the odd one out, i made a schedule for my lot! Its a very loose one as they would stay in their rooms all day playing games otherwise, only coming out for food.

Basically they wake at 9, have a lazy hour taking their time to wash, dress and eat breakfast and just generally come around. 10-11 they log on and do a bit of school work. We get out of the house for a walk between 11-12 then they have lunch. They have half hour of reading after food, Another hour of school work, their household chores whatever they are that day and then outside again for fresh air (back garden) maybe doing some sort of sport if i can wangle it. Ive got no hope of getting any of them doing Joe wicks or whatever so its the best i can do.

They 'finish' at 3.30 and can go about their business, we eat together in the evening but have always done that.

I dont set a bedtime or anything they stay up as they like but will get woken at 9 the next day regardless. Weekends and during the easter holidays they do/did what they like as normal.

I feel structure is important, and my eldest is going into A levels next year so i dont want him idle all day and putting him at a disadvantage from the off. They would never step outside the front door if i left it up to them and the 'chores' part of the day is just learning household stuff which is useful. Theyve always had a daily chore to do aswell so it isnt a big change really. It seems to work well for us and theyre not stroppy about it or anything so i'll stick with it.

During the first few days of lockdown, I nearly drove myself crazy about my eldest two not getting up until the afternoon. I soon realised that there are 6 of us and three computers, (We are both teachers, so are working from home)...the internet struggled too. I now get the youngest two up by 8 with us, leave the older two to work on their own schedules. They are going to sleep at about 3am, so getting up early is silly. However, if schools go back, I'll get stricter about bedtime to make sure they are in a routine again. My second eldest slept until 4 pm the other day. She has always loved her sleep, so this is bliss for her.

Yanbu OP.

I think it’s good to get a routine and too much sleep and not enough daylight can be quite damaging for mental health.

However I’m seeing this time - if you can, as recuperation time we’ve just never had before (unless of course you’re a parent or keyworker who never stop!) but a time to reset the cogs a little bit. There aren’t the social demands we normally face.

I must admit I’ve been getting up at 1/2 some days - but I’m furlough and pregnant so exhausted and making the most of it as I don’t think I’ll sleep properly again for 18 years ;)

My eldest is 21 and final year of uni. She's up by 11am ish and sleeps at around 1am ish. My youngest is 13 so a younger teen. I let him have until about 10:30pm at the moment and he wakes up at 9 ish or 9.30. He's on Xbox with his friends too much for my liking but as long as he does the school work and comes out for a walk once a day then I'm letting that slide

I don't understand parents letting their kids stay up all night roaming the internet or playing Xbox. Why would you do that? It's better for them to have some semblance of routine. The exception to this might be a 17 + year old - but even then, I wouldn't be thrilled about gaming all night which I've seen countless parents allowing

However we are all different so meh. I just think what's right for my kids is for them to not become nocturnal

Out of interest, when do children start sleeping in? The thought of mega lie-ins sounds blissful.

Yep agree, scrap the routines for now and let them sleep .x

Cremebrule

My son started sleeping in more after 14/15 yrs. My dd , 15, has rarely slept in beyond 8.30 , only since lockdown she has moved so late, but she is up late with her brother , or chatting to friends on her phone via Snapchat x

I let mine sleep, I don't care what time they get up to be honest, as long as they aren't too noisy at night.

I grew up in a household where layins were never allowed
Up at 8am every day without fail

@itisab0y2020 whats your point?

Yes itis me too, I never slept in. I worked during the weekends and holidays from I was 15, mostly in healthcare settings so I had to be in work by 7am, sleeping in wasn’t an option.

My children are only young still but we are an ‘early’ house anyway, my DH and I are in bed every night by 10pm.

What you did is irrelevant. You werent trying to navigate a lockdown in a pandemic.

banana even in a pandemic my DD has to log in by 9.15 and have submitted by 4. I realise that not all secondary schools are the same.

I leave mine alone. He gets his work done. Teenagers seem to function differently body clock wise, I was the same at his age. Being a night owl runs in our family. I did permanent nights for a while and loved it. I could sleep through the day without any problem.I still have nights where I can stay up till 3-4 I the morning. It helped a lot when the kids were sick or didn't sleep. Dh eventually started dealing with them in the mornings and it became normal for me to do a handover at about 6am and go to bed.

My DS is seventeen and I usually poke my head around his door at about 11/11:30 although he doesn’t necessarily emerge until about 12 or so.

He’s usually up late until about 2 AM or so and is generally quiet although the other day he was talking to a friend and woke me and I had to go and tell him to tone it down.

It’s not as if they really have anything to get up for at this point although the other day I did threaten that if his rubbish out of his bedroom didn’t come out before the morning I was going to wake him at 7 to do it and I would have.

We eat lunch and dinner together and cups and plates aren’t allowed upstairs.

I can totally get people leaving the kids to it but will never agree with these parents who allow their teens to eat meals in their bedrooms as well.

When I was a teen I did all my best essays etc from About 10pm-3am. Used to crack out some good work most Friday nights and sleep til 1ish the next day.

If I’d had online work to complete it would have been done late at night, with ton of snacks in my room