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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use online shopping

54 replies

Karlkennedyslovechild · 19/04/2020 15:55

Bracing myself for this one in case it goes against me.

So I’m a frontline NHS worker. 2 DCs under 6. DH is self employed and WFH. He’s got work to be doing but has taken on the brunt of the childcare when I’m at work. As he’s not a key worker they’re not going to school or nursery. This means we’re earning less as he’s doing less hours and working evenings and weekends.
We’re in a better position than a lot of people and I really haven’t been moaning (well a little about my crappy PPE). Work has been stressful and both of us are either working or parenting solo when the other is working so there’s little relief.
We’ve been getting our shopping from Ocado for over 6 year. In fact I’ve been doing weekly online shopping since 2007 and can’t stand trying to do it any other way. Been getting a delivery every 7-10 days during lockdown as we’re smartpass customers.

So a friend has just shared a WhatsApp message pleading with people not to get online deliveries unless they have to as her elderly parents are struggling. Now I’m torn. I know it’s a first world problem but I’ve already given up my cleaner (still paying her) and I really want to throw myself on the floor and have a tantrum at the thought of giving up my Ocado deliveries. God,I think I sound like a spoiled brat.

So AIBU?

OP posts:
Lovinglockdownlife · 19/04/2020 15:56

I get an online shop every week. No guilt here

RaininSummer · 19/04/2020 15:58

If you can get a slot go for it. If you are working, it doesn't seem fair for you to have to queue to shop if you don't have to.

MigginsMs · 19/04/2020 15:58

You not getting your slot isn’t going to mean her parents will get one though, does it. It could just as easily go to another non vulnerable person. I would just keep the deliveries

Jjjjjj1981 · 19/04/2020 15:58

I’m a single parent of a disabled child, I can’t take him to a supermarket with me. I am one of those people who rely on online deliveries and now I can’t get a slot.
Please don’t take a slot if you have an alternative. People like me are struggling because those who don’t need it are still taking slots

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 19/04/2020 15:59

No dont give up your slots. The supermarkets are doing really well freeing up slots. The elderly parents can get priority with Sainsburys who have really opened up and taken on more drivers.

Redglitter · 19/04/2020 15:59

I think you're quite right in getting an online order. Dont feel guilty

orangejuicer · 19/04/2020 16:00

YANBU, keep your slots.

gluteustothemaximus · 19/04/2020 16:01

J - have you tried morrisons food boxes? They are brilliant and arrive quickly x

recycledteenager24 · 19/04/2020 16:02

why does it matter if it went against you what randoms think anyway ? plenty of people might be able togetclick and collect but prefer not too for what ever reason.
tbh your friend needs to sort her own stuff out and not guilt trip others.

Jjjjjj1981 · 19/04/2020 16:03

Food allergies gluteus, so thinking about it, but half of the food may go to waste, thanks for suggesting though

YE420032c · 19/04/2020 16:03

I have been using Tesco for 18 years now and am more or less housebound with no car so heavily reliant on online deliveries. They say there are not enough slots and even with being on their priority list I am finding it touch and go to get a delivery slot. This is a difficult one if you are their regular customer and shopping is difficult and time consuming in person. Some of the supermarkets are refusing to accept new sign ups and I think this is reasonable.

BunnytheHoneyBee · 19/04/2020 16:03

Keep your slot. As others say, you giving one up doesn’t mean someone more deserving get it. Hopefully her parents get help. There is certainly a lot of support for the elderly and vulnerable where I live and Morrison’s are doing food boxes for those who can’t get a delivery slot so there are other options. We should all be doing our bit but that doesn’t mean guilting people constantly.

CeibaTree · 19/04/2020 16:03

Ocado prioritise shielding/elderly people and then release all the remaining slots after that. So if you can get a slot (which I've found quite easy to do) then go for it :)

IamRhubarbBikini · 19/04/2020 16:06

On the rare occasion we’ve been able to get a slot we have done as we’re also buying for 2 sets of shielding parents and a family friend who is also shielding so we’re doing everything we can to stay well as we’re essentially their lifelines.

Original poster
Karlkennedyslovechild · 19/04/2020 16:07

Oh thank you all. I thought I was going to be ripped apart by sanctimonious mumsnetters! I agree there’s no guarantee my slot would go to someone more ‘worthy’!

OP posts:
Ghostlyglow · 19/04/2020 16:08

Don't feel guilty. It's not for other people to judge how much you need it.
I'm a frontline NHS worker without a car and shopping for elderly parents, really struggling to get online slots, and if I can get one, I will take it.

KitKatKit · 19/04/2020 16:10

Dont feel guilty, take the slot where you can. If you're a frontline worker you may potentially pick up the virus at work, and then spread it by going into the supermarkets.
Stay safe and thank you for what you're doing.

recycledteenager24 · 19/04/2020 16:12

the sanctimious mners are dicks any way don't give them a second thought.

Randomnessembraced · 19/04/2020 16:14

It is definitely your slot and you should 100 per cent not feel guilty! You have shopped there for years and are frontline. In fact, I know plenty of people with one front line NHS or 1 other key worker sending their children to school and nursery and using those places.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 19/04/2020 16:14

A lot of people on here don't think anyone that can physically get to a supermarket should use online slots but I do and urge you to continue. You are working hard and this is not a competition for who suffers the most!

I'm also a nurse and trying to limit my outside contact to reduce the risk of me bringing it on the ward. I'm working extra hours due to lack of staff,I'm doing my bit already.

Yes, DH works from home but I have the only car and he is also reducing his outside contact for the same reason as me.

Keep doing what you are doing and try to ride above sanctimonious comments.

Chrisinthemorning · 19/04/2020 16:15

I’m online shopping with no guilt. If I were just shopping as usual I would go to store as usual but as I’m shopping for 3 extra adults (my parents, MIL) it is much easier and more efficient to get a delivery or click and collect, especially as I am washing all the shopping afterwards.

roonilwazlibismynickname · 19/04/2020 16:27

This has to be a joke?

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 19/04/2020 16:42

I really started hating people who try to guilt trip others into not getting online deliveries. We can all die. No guarantee a healthy 30 year old or a child will make it if they catch it. So if you can make things easier for yourself and your family, get them.

NoSoapAndGory · 19/04/2020 16:43

OP - if you give up your slot, there is absolutely the slimmest of chances that it with go to someone 'more worthy'
.

like you, I have been using online shopping as our sole means of food shopping (save the odd top up) for years and years. I'm organised, efficient and used them religiously, despite a big proportion of friends and family telling me that online delivery was a poor second as you don't get the same quality of eg, fruit & veg as it's not selected yourself, rubbish substitutes, etc etc.

Supermarkets will not want to lose their regular, online family shoppers long term. They will have sort something out. Ensuring those who are isolating is very important but won't bring the supermarkets the same revenue their regular shoppers.

I feel very sorry for people who can't get to the shops, but also very dismissive about those who could now wanting online slots that they previously turned their noses up at.

Malvinaa81 · 19/04/2020 16:55

If whatever system you are using allows you to book and you do so, this really isn't a question you need to ask.