Are teenagers worse than small children?

[shhhFFS]

Tongue in cheek but...

We have both in our house and given the current testing times who do you think is more testing? We have 5, 8 and 14.

14 has luckily not fallen into the bracket of having their GCSE results thrown to the wind but starts next year. So has had a lot of work assigned in term time rightly so. She picked art as a gcse subject so had a lot of projects assigned in line with that. Has now decided she f***g hates art and can’t be arsed. She wants to ‘channel’ her energy as I have encouraged so I’ve signed her up for every buggering app and live thing on the planet for guitar playing, art, sign language. She gives it 10 mins of attention and decides she’s tried but it’s just not happening. Which results in me yelling that you need to spend more than 10 bleeding minutes to perfect a skill so can you just direct your attention at something other than tik tok then you might get good at something!! Results in slammed doors, sulky looks, and generally skulking around. For the record I’m normally someone who restricts social media and internet time but have extended this to make sure contact with friends is free and also I know we are all bored, but I’m seriously contemplating blocking Netflix if she shoots one more dirty look my way if I suggest committing to something productive for more than 20 minutes! On the other hand I feel horrendously guilty about the fact I can’t commit enough time to help her because I’m trying to work from home in an industry that has not took a back seat and I’m constantly attached to a laptop all taking phone calls in the loo because it’s quiet.

On the other hand small children, whilst noisy and shrill at times and having arguments over who stuck a toe up each other’s bum first can be appeased easily. Peppa pig? They will happily draw/paint for hours? Play in the garden? Happily. There are endless things to occupy them with,

Don’t start me on the animals though. The dog has started shitting inside in dirty protest and the cat shins up my back every time I’m on a conference call!

Stay safe guys

@anothernotherone I can totally resonate with that - my mum and as the same, she tells all and sundry how difficult we were as teens and yes my brothers in particular were bastards but she really didn't handle it as well as she could. We had different opinions and beliefs, wanted to go out and see friends as opposed to visiting great aunty Dot, and she had to know absolutely everything that we were doing/saying/thinking. Every day at some point she'd be screaming in tears and raving about how awful we were because of some trivial reason. Meanwhile there was never any encouragement to do school work, didn't care about GCSE options or exam results, never a word of encouragement about higher education etc just "whatever you do make sure you leave this house when you're 18 as I can't cope any longer".

GlummyMcGlummerson I think it's fairly common, the struggle not really being about the teens themselves at all but something else - a kiss of control as a parent. Obviously there are lots of stressful and scary and worrying things about letting teens take over responsibility for themselves (my own semi irrational fear is my children driving/ riding scooters or worse being driven around especially at night by their peers). I sincerely hope that I never weaponise tears though, or try emotional blackmail. It's about them not us.

I have a 13 and 15 year old - and by and large they are absolutely fine. They emerge from their rooms when hungry and we talk over dinner etc. I am definitely of the benign neglect orientation and try not to interfere with them too much - but provide emotional support when needed.

I loved it when my children were younger too, but that was physically tiring as a lone parent with a 19 month age gap!

Update - DD is a much cheerier soul today. Art project was still a disaster zone and resulted in some stressing but we did produce something. Had a nice walk together with the dog and bought some plants from outside a farmhouse which she has named after her favourite tv characters and we’ve planted them in the garden. And we’ve started making a scrap book.

For the record this was not intended to mean small children are easy. And I deliberately stated small children and not babies or heaven forbid toddlers because that’s a different matter all together. I am thankful the smallest is now 5 and sleeps, although this is quite new and we spent many years with little sleep. Partner has just put 5 yr old in bath though because making grass potions has got out of hand.

In summary no children are easy, parenting is hard. Harder given current circumstances. But I’m glad we are all together and happy and healthy.

And hats off to you all for coping and doing the absolute best by your children 👑

Art GCSE is loads of art. My dd 15 would not have chosen it if she could choose again......

My teenager is a piece of cake compared to my 5 year old nephew. I love him to bits but I dont know how my sister is coping.

Small children are hard in that they wake up early, are on the go all.the time but honestly it's a doddle compared to the teenage.years.

I had teenagers and toddlers simultaneously, such is my amazing grasp on family planning. The toddlers rarely made me cry - the teenagers did.

Depends. When I had small children in the school holidays it was all a bit full on and I was desperate for a break from them, while with teens (in normal times) I kind of miss them when they are hiding in their room and out with friends all the time.
I current times, I'm still working (NHS) so I'm relieved that the teens can be left home alone and study independently. I feel you pain OP with the art. DD2 is year 11 and seems to like to do everything the night before it's due. She was a couple of weeks behind with the courdework for her exam piece when the schools closed, did nothing after they closed, and now the teacher has emailed to ask them to send it in by the end of the month, so she's got a lot to do! I find it's best not to interfere as nagging doesn't really help.
Once that is in , she will probably have nothing to do until September while yr12 DD1 is being sent loads of work, so I'm not sure how that will go.

The trouble with people saying toddlers are a doddle compared to teenagers, based on their own experience, is that they never had to deal with toddlers for six weeks of lockdown. Just as (hopefully) I won’t have to deal with teenagers for six weeks of lockdown, so will never know what is harder. I have a newborn and a toddler, my husband is a key worker so I am on my own, there is no community support, no family support etc. Yes people have done this before with no support and I’m sure some found it easy and would consider me a feeble whiner as per MN attitudes these days, but it’s not how many would choose to do it.

I think a well behaved, non sporty primary aged child is the easiest. My DD fits this criteria. She keeps herself busy at home, loves baking, arts and crafts, plays independently and is happy to do her school work. Generally she's really easy to look after.

My ds is 12 and is harder work because he either wants to do sport or be on screens...plus he has a lot of attitude and back chat!

I think toddlers must be the hardest work, especially when they're at that age where you can't turn your back on them for fear of what they may do.

Yes I have a 13 year old and a 3 year old, my 13 year old is constantly winding him up because he's bored. Even though there has been numerous activity's offered for him to do

I think it really depends on the children. Some people do have pretty well behaved, mostly sensible teens who don't give them much grief (certainly compared to a toddler), and other teens are bloomin' nightmares who you worry about constantly, and cause a lot of heartache.

I do think it's easy to look back on the toddler years with rose tinted glasses as they are cute and funny. But it is knackering having a small person who gets up at 5.30am every day (DD1 I'm looking at you!) and needs constant entertaining from dawn until dusk, and help to do everything from getting dressed, putting on their shoes to cutting up their dinner. And toilet training (certainly in our house) is just a horrendous experience of cleaning up constant piss and shit everywhere. I think parents of teens forget sometimes how hard it is to have kids that just have to be supervised and helped with everything all the time.

What @enraged said!! Owner of a 15 & 16 year old and give me teens over youngsters any day of the week. Dd was GCSE year so there's little point in making her do much work. She loves doing art anyway and reading so this will help with A-levels.

I'm very impressed with Ds as he set his alarm for 8am to get up to start school work again. Aside from food and the occasional conversation I see little of them....

my 13 year old is constantly winding him up because he's bored. Even though there has been numerous activity's offered for him to do

My ds is exactly the same!

I think a very high proportion of teenagers are very difficult to be around. They want all the freedom of adulthood but are prepared to subscribe to none of the expected social norms of adulthood. A high percentage of the ones I encounter are rude, lazy, lacking in any kind of empathy and grossly self entitled.

I have 3, 14, and 16.

The three year old is the most work.
In normal life the 14 year old causes the most stress. But, pulled out of school and peers he is lovely. I said to DH "DS doesn't hate me now"

Teenagers,!

@IvinghoeBeacon when mine were toddlers we spent an awful lot of time in the house. Lack of funds combined with the most awful weather. That was as close to a lockdown as you get. I think its that experience that makes me think teens are easier.. that said my two are lazy home birds. For them, not much has changed

I definitely think teens in general are physically less demanding than younger DCs. I don't know how anyone can work from home with a toddler in the house for example whereas it's perfectly possible with DS 14.

We struggle with the laziness and lack of desire to do anything but play computer games, but unfortunately DH and I have different strategies. His involves trade offs for WiFi time with walking the dog, whereas I think the whole situation is a bit rubbish so am inclined to give more leeway and am less bothered by length of walks , than in ensuring DS just gets outside for some fresh air and exercise.

triedandtestedteacher career change time maybe, if your a secondary school teacher.

I used to teach secondary and my eldest is 15, dc2 is nearly 13 and in the middle of his friendship group age wise so lots of teens though our house, plus young adults from 18 up at work. In general teens are less unpleasant than adults IMO, though they do often fall into the "when they are good they are very, very good and when they are bad they are horrid" category.

you're not your

@anothernotherone You're not wrong

YES.

I have a 6, 4 and 2.
They are so easy.
Not much expectation school wise. All into the same things. Play for hours.