Are teenagers worse than small children?

[shhhFFS]

Tongue in cheek but...

We have both in our house and given the current testing times who do you think is more testing? We have 5, 8 and 14.

14 has luckily not fallen into the bracket of having their GCSE results thrown to the wind but starts next year. So has had a lot of work assigned in term time rightly so. She picked art as a gcse subject so had a lot of projects assigned in line with that. Has now decided she f***g hates art and can’t be arsed. She wants to ‘channel’ her energy as I have encouraged so I’ve signed her up for every buggering app and live thing on the planet for guitar playing, art, sign language. She gives it 10 mins of attention and decides she’s tried but it’s just not happening. Which results in me yelling that you need to spend more than 10 bleeding minutes to perfect a skill so can you just direct your attention at something other than tik tok then you might get good at something!! Results in slammed doors, sulky looks, and generally skulking around. For the record I’m normally someone who restricts social media and internet time but have extended this to make sure contact with friends is free and also I know we are all bored, but I’m seriously contemplating blocking Netflix if she shoots one more dirty look my way if I suggest committing to something productive for more than 20 minutes! On the other hand I feel horrendously guilty about the fact I can’t commit enough time to help her because I’m trying to work from home in an industry that has not took a back seat and I’m constantly attached to a laptop all taking phone calls in the loo because it’s quiet.

On the other hand small children, whilst noisy and shrill at times and having arguments over who stuck a toe up each other’s bum first can be appeased easily. Peppa pig? They will happily draw/paint for hours? Play in the garden? Happily. There are endless things to occupy them with,

Don’t start me on the animals though. The dog has started shitting inside in dirty protest and the cat shins up my back every time I’m on a conference call!

Stay safe guys

I am listening to the two toddlers next door who have been up, crying and running around since 6am. It is never ending and I would hate to be in lockdown with little ones. My teenagers are reasonably civilised - they will do chores, cook and interact with me.

So my very personal take on it (and I accept I am lucky) is that this is easier if you are the parent of teenagers than if you are the parent of small children. However, I think this is much easier for small children who really just want to hang out with their parents all the time. I do worry about the impact this is having on teenagers who most certainly do not all want to hang out with their parents all the time. One of mine in particular is really struggling with not being able to see her friends and no amount of FaceTime can make up for it.

Yes x1000....

I have 3, 5, 7...14 and 16 and the older 2 are so much harder. They give me so much guilt/stress etc

I am not jealous of my friends with little ones to entertain during this lockdown. Mine are 10,14 & 16 and so far taking it in their stride. Luckily they are an age where we can really talk about what’s actually happening and they understand it - trying to explain this to little ones must be so hard

My 6 year old is very needy but my 13 year old is a bloody nightmare. She struggled to initiate social contact so I have been practically forcing her to FaceTime her friends otherwise she is just bloody miserable. She also won't commit, she has a lush camera she got for her birthday but not interested in finding out how to use it. She loves painting but just repeats the same ideas over and over and won't try new techniques!! Whinges EVERYTIME I make her shift her arse but then is so much happier after exercise.....I feel like she's so much hard work!! If I left her to it she'd stare at her phone all day and be miserable!!

My 11 year old is the best. Can entertain herself, still young enough to engage bu old enough to entertain the 6 year old for a bit and not so moody she falls out with everyone.

I have an18 month old, and a 14 year old and 15 year old. The toddler is easier, she’s cute so everything is forgivable.. the teenage girl I could throttle at times.. the teenage boy, is just a smelly bird brains 😏

Did your teen actually use the words effing hate art??? If so what the hell

Young children have bedtimes... I miss bedtime

We are practicing the free range parenting of teens. It has been quite relaxed - it helps DH and DS go for v. long bike rides (don't worry people they are local and see very few people). DD1 and DD2 are waiting for their A level results - but both still doing the work. They are worried they are going to lose the ability to study if they stop. I see them at some point in the afternoon, am offered an occasional cup of tea. My only responsibility is to keep the fridge well stocked.

As an aside DD1 did GCSE art and hated it, but went on to do 3 x Art A levels and is (hopefully) going to do a Fine Art degree at one of the well respected art schools. If you ask her now - GCSE art sucks, but she is glad she stuck with it. It does however take a lot of time and effort - way beyond the curriculum. nevergoingoutagain DD1 also did (and still does) a lot of work that looks the same, but it perfected her technique and gave her the confidence to try different things.

It depends how small the children are though maybe? Yours are perhaps more medium than small, I have two under four and it’s constant bum wiping, game playing, feeding through the night. Never a moment to do what I want to do. The eldest goes to bed and then the baby kicks off her evening screaming. Would love to have a 5 and 8 year old right now though perhaps not the teenager by the sounds of it!

I have 4 children. And atm it's a bit of a nightmare (until dad comes home and they are completely different children) . I have an almost 2 year old, very clingy and whingy but also terribly cute and funny*so she does get away with a lot. I have a 4 year old boy who screams bloody murders over the smallest thing. Has ridiculous tantrums over someone holding his rex or crying he doesn't have anything to do, starts screaming his head off and am sure to the neighbours it sounds as if a bloodbath is happening but recently he has been doing better and if I put him in the naughty corner he starts begging and crying so sorry, am so sorry mummy. Doing the sad puppy dog eyes and then I feel bad. Lol. I have a relatively good 6 year old. She's always kind and sweet and helpful. But she does get the odd huff and puff if she can't have something but that rarely happens. And then I have a 12 Yr old boy who thinks he's 40 and then makes ridiculous decisions and tries to tell the younger children what to do. On the other hand, he loves housework and reading but is obsessed with watching crap on YouTube like idiots screaming over minecraft and bloody fortnite. Dad always puts them in their place though if needs be. I am more relaxed but since the lockdown began I have had to become more strict as they are all bickering with each other over anything ridiculous. Each kid is different whether they are teens or toddlers. All my kids can be fantastically behaved and other times I am at my wits end. We can also be very strict too especially husband. He is from Nigeria so he's pretty much no nonsense dad. But he's also very hands on and loves to play and joke and have movie nights etc. As long as you are the one in control and keep it up that's what matters because you cannot allow your child regardless of their age to rule the roost and have their own way. I do hope your expression was effing hate art was your own term of expression, not your daughters.

No. At least when they were toddlers I knew where they were and what they were up to 😕

It probably depends what you’re doing in lockdown. We’re both doing FT hours so the DC being 7 and 4 means that we’re both working until late at night to make up for the hours we’ve spent supervising in the day. If one of us was a SAHP or furloughed I would much prefer small DC to terms but at the moment I’m so tired I don’t know which way is up.

My two might do something for 20 minutes without a parent but one of them will then need something and DS2 has no concept of what’s important and has interrupted phone calls with my (very amused) boss to demand I find his doctors bag, find his bear, and tell me he’s done a wee.

Seriously slamming doors and dirty looks on the lady that gave birth to her, hours in pain and fed and looked after her all these years... and she got away with it?????? *op please tell me you're joking......

As a parent of teenagers young children are so much easier

I don't think it's possible to generalise tbh. There are difficult and easy teenagers and difficult and easy small children. I have a 12yo and a 14 yo. They require much less wrangling than they did when they were little, can be stroppy and uncooperative, but pretty infrequently.

@PennyArrowBar This is is basically my morning, minus the bolt. My 4 year old has gills, I swear. He does not even pause for breath and the questions, my Lord, the questions..... Oh, and my 3 month old was awake hourly from 0230. I feel as though I have an axe stuck in my head and still the questions wash over like waves.

He has also lost the ability to play independently since lockdown began and just wants to play games, and needs a high level of supervision for painting unless you want the living room redecorating.

But I’m not saying it would be easier with teens. I’d have slept better, I’m sure, might be allowed to go to the toilet by myself, but different types of difficulty.

I think as with all these things it very much depends on the individual children and what you yourself prefer in terms of age group . Mine are 15, 10 and 7 and I am very very glad to not be having to deal with this situation with very young children.

The best way I can summarise it is to say that teens are physically easier but mentally tougher. But even though my teen is grumpier and less cute than he was as a toddler I’d still rather be at the stage he is now during all this than have him at age 2.

I think I prefer lockdown with teens. Mine don’t appear until gone mid-day, they do make a bit of a mess but are happy to eat at the table with us in the evening and play a few board games, or watch a film. My gin and wine stock is disappearing rapidly though . I’m enjoying spending this time with them as they’re usually away at uni or out all the time. I doubt we will ever spend as much time together as a family again which makes me sad but also appreciative.

I do sometimes think I wish they’d get off their phones in the afternoon and talk to me more .... but then I remember the times my gorgeous 4 year old god daughter stays for the weekend and how she just NEVER stops talking and how exhausting that age is

My 4yo and 6yo wouldn't go to bed last night and as a result are still asleep now at 10am. I feel like I have small child/teenage hybrids.

I think they're probably more easily distracted and kept off screens than teenagers would be. And any teaching / home school I'm confident I know more than they do!

They are challenging in different ways. Teenagers can at least largely look after themselves and are quite self sufficient but OMG the moods. Mine takes every innocuous comment as some sort of personal sleight and either goes in a huff or starts arguing. He’s 14.

Just to add mine are obv late teens .... if we had been in lockdown during the 14-16 phase I would have been drinking gin all day and rocking in the corner.

I’m not having too many problems with mine. DD2 is currently painting the skirting in her own bedroom she is 15. The house is messy though and I get annoyed about that because I am working 40hours a week and they can’t seem to see it!

Teens can be a pain, but on the whole I’d rather be locked I’m down with my dds now at 15 and 12 than when they were 5 and 2.

They’ve been a bit grumpy on and off, but they’ve got on with their school work with zero nagging. They’ve engaged in the odd art project, some with me some independently. Dd2 is a bit of an inventor and is always trying things it to see if they’ll work and dd1 has been practicing dance and stretching a fair bit. We’ve watched some movies and hung out in the garden when the weathers nice.

I’m still working full time as I work for the nhs and DP is working full time from home, so they’ve been good at just getting on with things during the week. At weekends and in the evenings, they’ve been good company for the most part.

So with my teens, definitely easier this little kids.

Teenagers are easier imo. Mind you small children means toddlers imo not so much school children.

I feel guilty about my oldest teen because she's very sunny and sociable but wants lots of interaction and input. I'm working shifts with 14 adults with learning disabilities who are currently all very needy (understandably) - as I park outside work three or four residents approach my can and tap on the windows, if I go into the office to deal with documentation there's a knock on the door every 30 seconds and always someone somewhere in the house calling me. If I do personal care for the highest needs residents the more self reliant ones stand outside the door calling me. I've taken to having my breaks in the staff bathroom on solo shifts but someone's always waiting outside the door calling me... I do on site nights and there's someone waiting outside the office/ bedroom when I try to head to bed or calling me from downstairs or trying the door by 5am not because of an emergency but because they want 1:1. It's all understandable but the job isn't usually so intense, we're there 20 hours without other staff due to sickness absence and quarantine, and then I come home and my own kids need my attention and I've nothing left to give.

Properly small children though don't sleep and need help with toileting don't just follow you to the look but go in with you, and might die or kill one another if you ignore them and go for a two hour bath or to the supermarket there's no other adult home, so of course teens are easier!

"We can't go to the hospital can we mum? Cause they're not open are they Mummy? So we can't can we? I don't want to go anyway because I've still got my pyjamas on and I haven't even had a wash, but I don't even want a wash, do I Mum? Cause I'll probably have a bath later, won't I? And I'll put some clean socks on won't I? Well this is a fine mess isn't it mummy?"
so cute!