Irritated, irritable and irritating. AIBU to be tolerant in RL and tell them to get fucked on this thread.

[fuckinghellthisshit]

IABU. Unreasonable and I know it.

I am just so fucking irritated at the moment. Everything is grinding my gears. DD's constant fucking exercising, DS leaving his shit everywhere, DH's following me around and just fucking breathing everywhere.
I am being a model of kindness and tolerance but I do wish every bastard one of them would fuck off.

And face timing my DGM97 every day at exactly 6pm to watch her slowly lose her shit (she's been in lockdown for 6 weeks already) and become unkempt is horrendous. Arguing with her for hours about politics (she lives for these debates and asks for robust challenging - good for her mh she says) is exhausting. I just want to lie down, I don't care what Mark fucking Steel is saying today - he can get fucked too.

My mean GD97 who has been living in isolation for 40 years and never wanted a visit or call but suddenly needs the warmth and kindness of his family - well the women in his family, and I am especially sought after as the busiest person. Fuck you mean old man, you are alone for a reason! you made your miserable lonely bed now lie in it!

My normally sane DM is in full lunatic mode, needing constant love and reassurance, leave me alone! I am your child! What about me! Why not rind one of my many bastarding twat brothers. And stop cooking for 12-18 people - there are only 2 of you there - that's why you're getting so fat - not stress hormones.

My tribe of idiot brothers who all refused to accept there was any problem and spouted full Trump rhetoric until my DGM's neighbour died and then had massive mantrums demanding I send them all food. Get fucked!
.
I love these people so very much. I also loved my small business and working, and being on my own a bit. I care so much, but I want a break and a vent. So here, in the safety of MN, I will tell them all to get fucked.

Thank you, I feel so much better now.

@BMW6, I could freeze it, if there was any room in the freezer. I will have to do the unpack and refill exercise, I can always make stuff fit in there better than DP.

And no, no more microwaves. The extra space on the worktop gets used daily, I only used the microwave approx twice a year.

Knowhow

Dear DH I don’t fucking care if you thought the shopping list for your weekly supermarket run was too long. That is your main job of the week.
Please also get your head around the fact that whilst you are sitting in the garden I am currently doing a 45 hour week WFH. So it is your role to corral the DC and keep the teenagers fed not mine.
Oh and to the teenagers I am not your slave, making your own breakfast is a life skill not tantamount to having a limb amputated.

I kachered the windows last week and i know DH noticed as, apparently I embarassed him whilst he was on a conference call

Excellent! Make sure you know when future conference calls are planned, so you can embarass him some more.

DP is using the spare room as an office. I walked in there in my bra and knickers the other morning, to get a top out of the airing cupboard.

The cunt pretended he was on a conference call and I swear I blushed for 2 whole hours. I was going to insist that we move to a different town, and I was never going to give him a lift to/from work again for fear of seeing someone who'd witnessed my flabby lardiness in all its glory.

I'm not sure that I feel better for that, writing it down just annoys me more!

I find venting more effective if it includes a lot of swear words.

Hope that helps.

Can I join in?

My twat of a DH has decided that ventilators aren't needed for Covid-19 patients, just give them oxygen.

The arsehole doesn't believe that it causes multi-organ failure in some people. Apparantly it's a massive over-reaction.

This is the cunt who stockpiled over 200 eggs and has filled four freezers with meat so that if we have to isolate for 14 days he can continue his cunting twatting paleo halitosis diet.

Just fuck off. And don't breath near me.

@fuckinghellthisshit - thank you for this thread - I needed it!
DH & DS - eating so loudly I want to kill them both.
DH sighing, sneezing, throat clearing, being generally miserable and moody all the bloody time.
The dog - has had diarrhoea for 2 days (not unusual due to IBD) but if I run out of the medication we use for it I don't know if I'll be able to get any more from the vets during lockdown. The dog, following me everywhere constantly. The moment I sit down the dog bringing me her fucking ball to throw.
DS stuck on high volume since lockdown started, and shouting boo every time he sees me - despite being asked not to.
DH watching shit on TV and listening to his shit music on his Bluetooth speaker all around the house and in the garden.

Trying to decide what to cook for dinner. Every. Single. Day.

DH growing a lockdown beard which I hate - he doesn't bother trimming it to keep it tidy either so it's just like a big straggly wig on his face.
I miss work, DH is still at work, which is one thing I am grateful for, but that means I am solely responsible for home schooling DS who thinks everything is unfair and wrong.
My DM 75 and diabetic, who thinks it's ok to go out to the shops if she is quick. And to walk to the local shop with her friend if they walk on opposite sides of the road - why???
She is also convinced that COVID was produced biologically by the Chinese govt, and that Russia are in cahoots with them as they haven't reported many cases. And is so cross with her doctors because they have texted her saying not to phone them if she thinks she has Coronavirus but to go onto a certain website - don't they realise she can't use the internet? (except to use Amazon which she does several times a day).
AND when I do escape to Tesco once a week for essentials, the people who go the wrong way up and down the aisles!!!! I know it's not that big a deal BUT there are huge great blue arrows on the floor FFS, and someone on the tannoy every 5 minutes asking us to use the one way system in place.

I should add I am menopausal so feeling quite irritable anyway!

I'm not sleeping well, drinking way too much and eating rubbish, it's the only way to hold my shit together, but I will emerge from this about 10 stone heavier than I went in, which will mean I will need to buy new clothes.

Thank you, I feel surprisingly better for that rant!

DH has been working from home while I wrangle they children... fine but intense, 4 year old and 5 month old bit he demanding all of my attention and food and whatever else all day long while dh sits with noise cancelling headphones on moaning about the noise.
Today I've tried to split child related things because he's off and all he's done is moan! He spent half an hour with the baby while I played with the 4yo and when baby needed feeding I suggested he continue the game in my absence.... which was met with wails of 'but I've just looked after the baby!' THEY ARE YOUR FUCKING KIDS! it's not 'looking after' its fucking parenting.

He's bitching his back hurts, shouting at the 4yo about not cleaning up a spill fast enough while he sits on a chair watching because his back hurts- she's 4 YEARS OLD! She wouldn't have spilled if he just got down and played with her in the first place. like I do all day every day, after being up every hour of the night while he snores happily because the baby prefers the boobs.

The snoring, he's in another room and I can still hear the bastard. Then he wakes up and it's 20 minutes of throat clearing, farting, sniffing, nose blowing, pissing- seriously how long does it take to piss!- then grunting and moaning because of the aforementioned bad back.

Thinking of causing an argument so he'll move out... he's been eyeing up his mates bachelor lifestyle since lockdown started, he can knob off there.

Save me from the pits of Hell that is shaping my day....OH decided to toast crumpets this morning in the toaster. All well and good except the crumpets didn't pop up properly....after 10 minutes of "ouch, ouch ouch, it.s burning my fingers, how do I get these bastards out without the need to go to the burns unit, Traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaped help!!! " It didn't occur to the IT genius to turn the sodding toaster off, turn it upside down and heyfuckingpresto, the bastarding crumpets fell out. Cold crumpets...the breakfast of idiots!!

@Knotaknitter made me laugh about DS, he has obviously trained hard for current conditions.
Well done coach!

@ssd
EdwinaMay, what age are you then? I'm 51,am I close?

I'm 68 so you have a bit to go - life is bliss - downsides not so much of it left to enjoy

Jeez, @majesticallyawkward, that sounds borderline abusive. Is this a one-off, or normal for him during lockdown?

I hope you're ok.

Dog keeps barking at me, just sits there and barks at me. Front door is open, wants to go out back door. Dh is working outside but won't just work at front or back, oh no, has to do both so there a force 10 gale blowing thru the house. Kids only come out of their rooms for food. Ds will grunt "orite?" EVERY SINGLE TIME HE APPEARS.
Dh is loving spending so much time with me and cuddles up to me every night, which I fucking hate and always have. And he breathes on me.
I want to go food shopping for my own stuff but can't as I'm vulnerable so rely on the kids and it's always a fantastic game of ' what will ds buy this time?'
My Dm shopping list is a fucking joke, she wants asparagus tips and avocado! Wtf?? Why does she honestly still want to eat in luxury when it means my kids have to go to several fucking shops for it. And she' never NEEDS things, " I need plain flour, I've only got 3 bags left' wtf?
I'm so done. I want to watch trashy tv during the day without having someone go ' why you watching that?' With a dirty look.
Oh and dh sniffs. So I'm constantly saying 'blow your nose'! Why? He's 54!!
Fucking fucks

@carriebreadshaw - DD asking if her boyfriend can come over each morning is also enjoyable 🙄 if I'm not getting any dick, neither are you missy!

I spatter tea out at that - same here. DD (20) who never so much as wants to breathe the same air as us has taken to hanging out with us including in the summer house (really just a shed that’s been painted and some seats put in) where we do our illicit shagging - go away please!!

Spat my tea!

@Mairyhinge is Timmy down the well again?

This thread is keeping me from going insane. I thought I was the only one to be driven round the bend by snoring/falling asleep/ watching crap on TV/ being obsessed with the latest COVID statistics and being breathed on. I am considering divorce several times a day.

@willowmelangell ???

@lakielady fine thanks. He's not all bad.... much easier to deal with when he goes out for a good portion of the day!

Kids are tedious, I get it, yesterday DDs 'game' involved us both being the same 7 characters at various points, she for angry when I didn't follow the correct lines and there was an ever more complicated story line involving then baby who just doesn't give a shit and was more interested in getting his fist in his mouth. That naturally ended in both of them crying and the big one demanding snacks.

I've set up the perfect prep machine today and the small boob monster can have a bottle with dh while I have a bath in peace this evening. Also have a rather tempting selection of meats and cheeses coming in our shop later with a bottle of red. I deserve it.

My husband is doing my fucking nut in this weekend. We do a zoom quiz with friends every Saturday and each and every woman deserves better than her fucknut husband as a team mate.

Mine SHOUTING jokes like a grandad as if people won't hear otherwise, and talking over the questions. And thinking he knows strategy best. I carry this team, dickhead.
Another whining at the question and getting points docked for being a gobshite.
Another reading out his answers.

Feck off the lot of you.

And after all that he has the freaking audacity to come down this morning and apologise and be all nice and caring when I still want to murder him with a spade.

Where was his caring side when we both had corona and he was determined to make a man flu situation of it, in spite of me being transparently much worse than him?

@Mairyhinge Movie reference. Lassie barks at her owner when various children are in peril and need rescuing.

Ohhh the crumbs, @ipswichwitch - dh is kindly bringing me coffee and toast in bed every morning, which means a jolly time getting rid of all the bastarding crumbs from the bed. But it is a nice thing for him to do, and I contribute to the toast crumbs, so I can’t complain.

But yesterday dh changed the bedding, so the bed should have been crumb-free, right? Fecking wrong - there were scratchy little bastard toast crumbs in the clean sheets. How, I ask you??

My DH has created a logjam, the organic matter of which is likely pre-lockdown in origin, in the toilet.
In the ENSUITE toilet, like 3 feet away from the bed.

Now the gazing at it in wonder has passed, he wonders how to dispose of it. Thus far his wondering has consisted of more gazing, some desultory throwing of (rationed) toilet paper and flushing, to no avail.

I do not GIVE A FUCK and have moved my bed to the sofa, and will not be intervening to slay the bastard turd with a thousand cuts.

In fact, resembling as it does the Loch Ness Monster, and similar in age if the stench has anything to do with it, he may as well wait till the thing evolves, grows fins and fucking slithers off.

Bees keep coming into the kitchen and then flying up to the ceiling. They're too high for me to rescue them but they keep bashing themselves on the glass roof. Then the spiders eat them so every morning we have a bunch of dried up bees on the kitchen table.

Before the lockdown my husband was starting out on a new project that was going to have him flying all over the world and away for the entire month of March. Instead they are trying to manage it remotely and we are in lockdown. There are days when I feel that one of us will die, and it won't be infected with Covid.

Someone said earlier in the thread about taking a book and reading it in the supermarket car park before a shop.
Genius idea!

I left for the weekly shop so that I could be in queue "nice and early"...but oh, the queues were sooooo long that it took ages to get in.

Yep, a travel mug of coffee, my kindle and peace and quiet for an hour before I sprinted round the mostly empty supermarket!

I hope the queues are just as awful next week!