Screaming child visiting during lockdown...

[lamppost1]

We have new next door neighbours and they have a balcony that overlooks the garden. Over the last couple of weeks, another couple with a small child visit their garden for 1-3 hours a day. Our neighbour sits on the balcony and chats to the visitors whilst they use the garden/paddling pool.

Their kid screams constantly. The parents chase the kid to make it scream, and do absolutely nothing to stop it screaming... they almost encourage it.

My two issues:

1. I assume this is against lockdown rules? But if they are coming from a flat and/or have no outside space, I do understand why they'd do this. Especially when the weather is nice.

However....

1. The screaming is driving me mad. I have a 7 month old DD and it's waking her up from naps and I can hear it inside with windows /doors closed... it's relentless and not limited to warm days, they come nearly every day. I don't Kline shouting/laughing etc.. all kids make noise, but the screaming constantly is horrendous!

I'm not confrontational and if I didn't have a child, I'd probably just turn they tv/radio up and ignore it. But lockdown is hard enough without an overtired baby!

AIBU to find this pretty unacceptable...? Tbh I'm such a wimp I'd probably never say anything, but need to vent!

@LilacTree1 I strongly disagree with you, if they are being thoughtless then when they realise they are causing a problem they will do something about it, if they are selfish they will do nothing because they don't care.

"I’d anonymously report rather then confront
They won’t know it’s you and the screaming will stop. Win win."

^This
Best advice to make it stop without confrontation

I'd not report for a one-off or something that didn't harm anyone, but this is blatant and anti-social

From what the OP says, they are deliberately winding up the child to scream,
not trying to calm them down

@ravenmum - read what the OP says and then maybe have a go at trying to read the Government's Lockdown policy

@nanbread

I'm sorry I did not realize your child has ASD. No, the 'usual' tactics probably won't work for you because your child may not have the ability to control himself or to understand why the screaming is 'wrong'.

Do you have a counselor or consultant to work with? My son's godson has ASD and was involved in a special program from a very early age (IIRC starting at around 2 yrs). The family had access to a wonderful group of consultants and educators to help them learn about ASD and worked together to help him learn and thrive. He's six now and is doing so well. We're in the US but I'm sure the UK would have something similar.

Screaming drives me mad. Small cautionary tale - I lived next door to a family who had a child that was a screamer and eventually tuned it out
One afternoon she was screaming as usual "help, help" but that was normal. Only when it went on and on and on, I opened the back door to shout STFU see what was going on

Child is dangling out the window of the first floor, and she fell as I ran out. Landed on the concrete and broke both of her legs and pelvis
People wonder why I get so irate about it but if a child was actually in danger or god forbid being taken by someone, it's like the boy who cried wolf. If they scream so often, you stop paying attention

And yes I do understand disabilities etc. There's a child a few doors down who screams at particular times but I know they're indoors and cared for 24/7 and safe. Bit different to running round outside screaming with no supervision

How do you stop a child screaming ? Does anyone really need to ask that question ?, The same bloody way you stop them from running into the road, the same way you stop them from cutting their hair with scissors, YOU the parent tell them you tell them NO in a firm voice. Yes it is that simple. Would you sit on your arse whilst your child hurt another child ? I would like to think every parent would react and stop the negative behaviour, same goes for bloody screaming.

Stopping them running in the road, cutting their own hair or hurting another child can be stopped by physical means. You can't do that with screaming.

Pick them up and carry them (screaming) inside. ??? Obviously won't work with ASD though.

On reflection, pick up the father and carry HIM inside (if only!).

@TheStuffedPenguin To be honest I have enough to do keeping up with the local lockdown policy, without also checking the UK policy. I am mildly interested, as you can see, but the actual details of how long people are allowed out etc. seem to be entirely gathered from interviews I don't get to see, with politicians interpreting the rules, rather than the actual information on the government website, which says nothing that would clash with the OP as far as I can tell. But someone else has now explained what the issue is, anyway.

Your local lockdown policy is different from the UK one ?

I'd shout "shut your bloody child up or I'm reporting you to the police for lockdown failure, right out of the window".
I know it sounds like I'm a fishwife but ff's, they are selish stupid lockdown breaking bastards.

Your local lockdown policy is different from the UK one ?
Yes, I'm not in the UK.

In that case then you have little appreciation of what it is really like here just now.

I didn't claim to have any appreciation of what it's like in the UK. In fact, that's why I asked you to explain the situation to me. You could have simply answered the question...

@ravenmum
The OP does not mention them turning up in a car. They might live round the corner. They are described as playing on their own as a family, not with anyone else; the people who own the garden are following the rules and staying well out of the way.Which rules do you think this is breaking?

The Gov rules are :

1. When am I allowed to leave the house?

You should only leave the house for very limited purposes:

shopping for basic necessities, for example food and medicine, which must be as infrequent as possible
one form of exercise a day, for example a run, walk, or cycle - alone or with members of your household
any medical need, including to donate blood, avoid or escape risk of injury or harm, or to provide care or to help a vulnerable person
travelling for work purposes, but only where you cannot work from home

Therefore going and sitting in someone else's garden for 1- 3 hours and using a paddling pool is against the rules. It's really very simple.

Thanks! So it's because this isn't exercise, basically? Must be hard to get out at all with toddlers, then. I can't see them being able to do anything that would count as exercise

Someone just posted this, from the police i(England), on another thread:
www.college.police.uk/What-we-do/COVID-19/Documents/What-constitutes-a-reasonable-excuse.pdf
"Exercise can come in many forms, including walks. Exercise must involve some movement, but it is acceptable for a person to stop for a break in exercise. However, a very short period of ‘exercise’ to excuse a long period of inactivity may mean that the person is not engaged in ‘exercise’ but in fact something else. It is lawful to drive for exercise."
Running about in the garden could be described as exercise, couldn't it? For a toddler? So is it more what the other person upthread said, about only one hour being allowed?

I think kids playing outside is acceptable noise tbh. Its unfortunate when you have a baby but that’s just one of those things. It’s technically not allowed for the kid to play in the garden of a home they don’t live in but I would absolutely not make a fuss over this aspect of it- it may be the only outside space the child has. Personally I would let this one go.

And of course letting a child run around and play outside is exercise . Weird to suggest otherwise. Do you expect a two year old to do a Zumba routine?

No one gives a shit if it is in their own garden - it is the sheer gall of someone to go and use someone else's garden in these times.

You keep saying that it's very simple, Penguin, but even your private views on what's OK or not seem really quite complicated :)