Last week I had a heating engineer in to mend my boiler. When he’d finished, he went outside onto the patio to write out his bill and he asked if I minded if he had a cigarette. I said I didn’t mind.
A short while later, after he’d left, my neighbour in the flat below the flat below mine came storming up to my door and shoved a jam jar containing a fag butt at me and began ranting about me smoking. I explained I didn’t smoke but tried to apologised for the engineer’s slatternly behaviour (I had no idea he had chucked his fag over the railings and am very cross about that) and said it wouldn’t happen again.
I say `try’ because as soon as he had shoved his jam jar into my hand he stormed off, refusing to listen to me so I was left speaking to his retreating back.
It was very distressing as I don’t know this man and in the year, he has lived in the ground floor flat he has never had any cause for complaint until now.
When you live on your own, especially in these lonely times, any unkindness is exaggerated and I am very distressed. While I could understand it if I made a habit of throwing rubbish onto his terrace, this is certainly not the case, just this one cigarette butt in a year.
Also standing close to me and handing me his personal items during the lockdown when we are meant to be socially distancing seems completely irrational.
I bumped into him yesterday and we said hello. I politely apologised again for the cigarette butt landing on his balcony but explained I was upset by what I considered to be this overreactive behaviour and he just stormed off again while I was trying to speak.
I suffer from bad anxiety as it is with a form of OCD called dermatillomania (skin picking), which has got worse. I know I should be able to shake this off but unfortunately, I am dwelling on it. I’m thinking of writing him a polite note to apologise again but also to explain that I found his behaviour threatening and upsetting and he mustn't come to my door again.
What would any of you do, if anything?