Is it unusual that my son still lives with me

[Takemebackto]

He’s 24 25 in July and still lives at home with me. He has mental health problems. My friends keep asking me if he has plans to move out and other family keep asking. Is it that unusual that he’s living with me? Many of his friends still live at home.

If a young adult gets on with their parents, doesn't have a lifestyle that's at odds with them and doesn't want to live with a partner, then i think it's becoming usual to live at home until past mid 20's.

My 22 year old DD lives with me. She's saved enough to buy a decent car. She could easily save a house deposit in another few years (we are in Liverpool). But she wants to work on cruise ships for the experience. I'm happy for the arrangement to continue. If I'm away she is looking after my pets and house. I don't want to live with a partner ever again, which is a new thing and becoming more common.

As for life skills, i taught my children them as they were growing up.

When i was a teenager there was a definite generation gap and parents struggled with aspects of what was suddenly acceptable, especially their DD's being independent, sexually active and rejecting traditional stereotypes. Likewise rejecting religion or being gay etc. Some of the reasons why people need or want to leave living with family just aren't there.

No, it's quite normal these days! Help your son to come up with a plan to buy/move out before he's 30 if possible, just because living independently can have a positive impact on self-esteem!

I left home at 19 but am now back at 32 due to ill-health. One of my siblings is a similar age to your son and is home for a bit but has the prospect of moving out in the near future- I think it's fine as long as it's not forever and doesn't cause any problems for you or your son.

The stats show a sizeable minority of young adults are still living at home. Amongst some of those young adults it is due to understandable financial constraints but they’re otherwise functioning adults. For others it signifies a stalled or failed journey into adulthood.
If your son is living at home, not really addressing his mental health issues or working towards improving himself I would say it is unusual.

I work with someone who is 25 and still living at home. He drives a BMW, eats takeaway almost every night and is out almost every weekend (pre virus) he says he can’t afford to move out. I wonder why?

I'm only a few years older than your son, like others amongst my friends its split. I moved out at 18 for university and other than a couple of months of summer haven't moved back since. I now live abroad with my partner and we rent, mainly due to both being expats and unsure yet whether we want to transition to immigrants and remain here long term.
My friends are pretty split, some living with partners/housemates/alone. Others at home desperately saving, others living at home and having a great time spending a lot with no desire to save and move.
What I will say is that most of those living at home still with little to desire to move out are friends who stayed at home for university and I do sometime question whether having never lived anywhere else contributes to the feeling of their being no pressing need to leave home.
I would also point out that 90% of my friends living away from home are renting, and those who have managed to buy have received parental help to do so.

SoupDragon what about those who's parents don't live commuting distance from anywhere new graduates have a fighting chance of finding a job. My parents have a massive house but hours from anywhere there's any kind of graduate job market.

I'm not sure what your point is as it bears no relevance to what I said.

The poster I quoted said continuing to live at home past mid 20s was unhealthy and she hoped to subsidise their rent. My point was that some will not have parents who can subsidise their lifestyle like this so how is it "unhealthy" that they have to live at home? It's crap and judgemental.

I don't think there is anything wrong with still living at home, moving out or being subsidised as it all depends entirely on family circumstances. If you can afford to subsidise your adult children then great, crack on, but don't deem the alternative as "unhealthy".

Normal nowadays and with what’s going to happen next, probably likely to become the default for a generation even into their 30s

My son moved out last October OP he was 29 . Wish he was still here to be honest but there you go! My brother is 41 and has moved back home due to relationship break up and financial problems.he and mum get on great and are like flatmates, I cant see him striking out on his own again as it works for both of them. You do what you like and what works best for your family with no apologies or explanations needed. They can have their opinions of course but you dont have to listen or take notice!