I feel so defeated today. Aibu to ask whats made you feel done today?

[cultkid]

I feel down because my three year old is genuinely the most exhausting child. He is so defiant. Everything is no. Every thing I ask him to do he won't. He's been constant today and I have a fever of 39 for the 4th day I am tired.
I'm worried about money and how to float ourselves through this Covid Hell.
I am worried about when I can see my parents next.
My back hurts. I really have lost my motivation today and feel sad and scared.
Whats Been making you feel defeated today? I can't be the only one.

I’m feeling shit too.
My DD woke up at 2am and wouldn’t go back to sleep, I’ve been up all day and evening she’s teething and had her injections today so I don’t imagine tonight will be much better.
Just miss life before this really I would normally be out and about most of the day if we had a bad night to distract us but not being able to have many distractions is really difficult I feel.
Hope tomorrow is a better day for you OP.

All of these 💔😭
You're not alone, any of you.
I'm sorry so many of you are struggling with children.

@lolaflores
I read your post and something about it made me get a huge fuckign lump in my throat. The heavy meds bit. Meds are so isolating. Are you tired or spaced out with them?
You are incredible giving up alcohol. And smoking. I can't give up drinking its my only crutch basically. I drink less now then I did but something about that jagged two faced friend it is. I don't want to let it go.
Have you tried any breathing exercises? Not omm ahhh shit but actual breathing to calm you down. I tried it for the first time at a retreat. If you look up @lovetolearnto on Instagram they are doing a breathing class for free tomorrow at 8 pm

Xxx

I took to the bed all day yesterday. Better today thankfully. Yes it's rotten but moods do pass/lift as well so if today is rubbish hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Very difficult and especially exhausting for those with young children.

My 10 year old and month off 14 year old are exhausting too. never stop bickering and fighting. Until they want to 'sleepover' in each others room at bedtime Have just been horrible and shouty as they seem to destroy everything and don't care about anything unless it's theirs and go "Oh what!" If asked to do the smallest of jobs.

DD has gone to her dads for a week, I will miss her so much. She's only 4 and is my little shadow.
I asked my DP to leave, I love him so much but he has broken my heart.
I've got work clients that I just can't help by WFH...

Next door has builders in for nine months now - today the banging inside the house was so loud we had to go round to make sure that they were not knocking the party wall down - then sitting in garden to get away from the noise the builders have the radio on full blast with some talk station which sounds like those aggressive adverts - just haranguing shouty voices - then they take ohone calls and shout to be heard over all the noise - it felt like bloody torture today - just had enough!!!!

@cultkid. I'm on steroids which aggravate my bipolar and my asthma makes me on the vulnerable.list the drinking had to stop because of my MH. Then the smoking had to stop because of asthma. I know my life is infinitely improved because if their absence but old coping habits die hard and this is a very real test. But. I know tomorrow will not be worth living and that was a hard lesson to learn and frankly I fought it. 'm 52 and it was me or it.

@cultkid whereabouts is the pain in your back? Is it under your shoulder blades?

An argument with dh. He told me gleefully how he’d commented on a Times article today, saying that we should reform the electoral system, and only tax payers should get to vote - because non-taxpayers are not bright enough to be trusted to choose well.

He has said this before, and I put him straight - very firmly - and pointed out how offensive this attitude was - I have been a SAHM for years, so not a tax payer, but apparently that gives me no value or intelligence whatsoever - and I thought he had learned his lesson, but nooooo!

So when he announced his ‘clever’ comment to me, he was surprised and pissed off that I found it as offensive as last time (if not more), and then he got sulky and nasty about it.

In the end I got through to him, and he eventually apologised - but he has knocked what little remained of my self-esteem (already at rock bottom, thanks to depression, bullying at school, anxiety and all my failures - everything from not having a career, via failing to breastfeed any of the dses and my current, ongoing failure to lose weight).

I am so sad, I can’t see any good reason to carry on.

@hesgotit
No I have pain in my ribs, Ive had it for four years from my nephrostomy. I've got nerve damage.
My lower back really aches too. I'm upset. Not on deaths door and not bed bound. Just feeling very.. tearful and sad
My gland is up on one side (I think it's a gland) I googled where my lymph nodes are and it's almost certainly where the superficial cervical ones are? Only on my right side
I don't feel chesty

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

Oh that is such a sad post too
You are doing the most important job in the world, sacrificing your pride in order to raise children is really very awe inspiring. Please don't feel so sad.

@lolaflores
Steroids are crap they made me very irritable and effected my hormones and periods but I think if they save you and your asthma

Do you use nicotine gum? Does it help?

Been told today I have to take a pay cut for 8 months, and have to take almost a month off in unpaid days.

Just before all this kicked off I had picked out everything for a new en-suite, not going to happen now.

Also working from home every day with an 19mth old toddler with a temper! If he doesn’t get his own way he bangs his head off the closet hard surface he can find.

Feel a bit shit too! A family member has decided as if there’s nothing enough drama going on in the world it has to evolve around their dullness too whilst worrying about my DB working for the NHS without the proper PPE on a Covid-19 ward! :(
It’s okay to feel sad OP, the whole worlds gone to shit.

They are all grown up now - ds3 is home from university (we got him before lockdown) - but I didn’t go back to work because my skills (nursing) are too out of date, and I am too fat to do anything useful.

Sorry to be so negative, @cultkid - and thank you for being so kind.

I feel exhausted today too. working full time, young kids at home who I've had to ignore all day firefighting in a ridiculously busy job. trying to juggle. It is hard. Too hard today. Then when I needed to go the shops for food, none of my children would help (there are 5 of them at home and I can't carry even 2 days provisions home alone).

So I ate cake instead.

OK OP, I was just a little worried as DH was like you with a fever and back pain, the pain transpired to be his lungs. I hope you remain well.

Now, to the original problem, this is shit, it will end and I wish someone could tell us when.

Your three year old is struggling as he's at that "in between" age knowing he used to do things but can't understand why he can't now. I wish I could come and take him to the park for a few hours for you.

@@cultkid...no gum or vape. Double pneumonia did the trick for me with the fags. I was so very I'll. One ight. 2am in bed unable to move and CERTAIN I was not going to be alive at 9am. I lay and watched the light creep through the curtains and genuinely felt like I'd been given another chance when it was morning.
It wasnt a decision as such I just never want to feel that I'll again, though COVID is terrifying me.

My DD (3) has been an absolute beast the last couple of days. I felt like you yesterday. Just so bloody lost without my work (furloughed) and no time in the day without her when she’s normally at nursery while I work. For the most part I have been managing fine but crikey yesterday was HARD. It will get better. Don’t let him wind you up. They are little shits at this age and they could finite with stuff when they can get a rise out of you 💐

*continuewotb stiff

*continue with stuff FFS 😳

everything! my 12 year old has turned into the gobbiest little shitbag in the world. my 6 year old is going through a major clingy stage and will not leave me alone. my 18 month old is teething and barely sleeping. and i’m 35 weeks pregnant with the worst back pain ever and panicking every time i think about giving birth. i’ve left my boyfriend to do bedtimes and told him to have the kids in bed with him tonight and come and got in the 6 year old’s single bed so that i can be alone.

If he says no then take his word for it. Says no to breakfast fine but then when he comes to you hungry later he only gets dry toast. Says no to the garden fine but no screen time etc etc

Been healthy eating for 8 weeks now but last 4 weeks Have put on and lost the same 4lb. I have a very high BMI and despite my diet being 95% spot on and keeping active nothing is shifting. Considering my size I should have lost a stone or more in this time.

No matter how much I tidy my house looks like it had been burgled.

My partner has been pretty lax and when I try to very calmly talk to him about this rut he acts like a twatty knob head with a knob face and a stupid knob.

Just feel done in.

My 13 year old son (who has ASD and only started making friends since starting secondary school) told me he is lonely today

We've been getting on ok in general but I worry a lot about the kids - their education, mental health, friendships, their future and how all of those will be affected long term. I don't worry about myself or DH, just the kids.