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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this bath time situation acceptability?

238 replies

5footmama · 14/04/2020 12:16

You live in a bungalow.
The bathroom is off the main hall.
Opposite the living room.

You have a just turned 6 year old and a 2yr5month old in the bath, playing and washing.

You are in the living room.

Both doors are open.

AIBU to think this is not acceptable?

OP posts:
ICantBelieveInYou · 14/04/2020 18:52

Comprehension and logic levels are really low on this forum

formerbabe · 14/04/2020 18:53

Comprehension and logic levels are really low on this forum

Indeed

exLtEveDallas · 14/04/2020 18:54

She was fine through luck rather than judgement! Not something I would've considered personally!

Maybe, but I made the judgement that she would be fine, and she was. I made a risk assessment of the danger, decided it was minimal and was happy with my decision.

Different parents parent differently Smile

Sereyus · 14/04/2020 18:55

Perfectly fine, I'd have no issue with it

BaroleCaskin · 14/04/2020 18:56

@ICantBelieveInYou because you simply can't see the risk 😂 we are telling you this in your own child's best interests... People with your mind set have had their children die, do you not get that?

ICantBelieveInYou · 14/04/2020 18:59

BaroleCaskin

Yet you seem to think your child is immune from harm in the living room just because there's no water in there? He could trip and hit his head on the corner of a table. Please ask your GP or HV about the risk before you ever leave a child of any age in a living room again.

hesgotit · 14/04/2020 19:01

Maybe, but I made the judgement that she would be fine, and she was. I made a risk assessment of the danger, decided it was minimal and was happy with my decision.

Fair play, I mean what could possibly go wrong with a two year old left alone in a bath full of water?

BaroleCaskin · 14/04/2020 19:01

I don't have a table 😂 and I have four children, none of them were ever at risk of drowning 😂😂😂

ICantBelieveInYou · 14/04/2020 19:02

Neither were mine. Just called my HV, she says they can't drown in 20 seconds.

Pentium85 · 14/04/2020 19:02

I see this as quite similar to the "would you go and pay for petrol and leave your child in the car at the pumps" debate; I never could, but others wouldn't even think twice.

Whether we think YABU or YANBU doesn't matter. You weren't comfortable with the situation so that needs to be clarified with you mother.

ICantBelieveInYou · 14/04/2020 19:02

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

BaroleCaskin · 14/04/2020 19:03

Whatever you say @ICantBelieveInYou, go read a book on childcare 😂😂😂😂

midnightstar66 · 14/04/2020 19:06

Same set up as me (very small flat) and I did this from that age. Baring in mind the distance is less than the size of some people's bathrooms but I guess it also depends on the dc

ScarfLadysBag · 14/04/2020 19:08

For 20 secs in an adjoining room if they are chatting to you and you can hear them playing, I don't really have an issue with. Going downstairs for several minutes, not OK. Different levels of risk, really, and different levels of attentiveness.

ActuallyItsEugene · 14/04/2020 19:10

So leaving the 6 year old in charge of the 2 year old?
No, it's not acceptable at all.

Someone should be in with the kids at all times; it takes seconds for a child to slip and get into difficulty and, contrary to popular belief, drowning isn't noisy, splashing, coughing madness.
Drowning is usually silent.

I'd be furious if it were my child. How hard is it to sit in the bathroom and supervise?
Fucking reckless parenting.

YANBU

ActuallyItsEugene · 14/04/2020 19:12

The bath being deep makes no odds either. A child can drown in less than 2 inches of water.

exLtEveDallas · 14/04/2020 19:30

Fair play, I mean what could possibly go wrong with a two year old left alone in a bath full of water?

...a two year old left alone in a bath...with her parent approx 2 feet away from her...

Not a lot tbh

ActuallyItsEugene · 14/04/2020 19:44

@exLtEveDallas

The fact that a child can drown in less than 2 inches of water and that drowning is usually a silent death..

Nope, not a lot at all.

exLtEveDallas · 14/04/2020 19:48

Pretty sure I’d have heard her go down, stop talking, singing, splashing from 2 ft away

So no, not a lot at all Smile

hesgotit · 14/04/2020 19:48

two year old left alone in a bath...with her parent approx 2 feet away from her...

Not a lot tbh

Apart from scalding and drowning, not a lot at all.

ClareBlue · 14/04/2020 19:49

Of course every parent of every child that has drowned in a bath didn't think it would happen to them, but it did. We can not eliminate every risk to our children and have to accept risk is a part of them becoming Independent. But we can be sensible. Can anyone tell me why you have to not be in the bathroom when a 2 year old is in the bath. As PP said, the needing a towel isn't the most unforeseen event at bath time, PJs same. So really there is absolutely no reason you have to leave the bathroom. Plenty of parents have to deal with tragic events involving their children. A 2 years old drowning in a bath unsupervised is tragic but also negligent. If your time is so precious that you have to leave a 2 years old unsupervised in a bath to do something else, then don't do bath time.

0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 14/04/2020 19:50

I wouldn't because I once saw my daughter fall diagonally and get wedged as she was trying to get up. I wouldn't have believed it could happen if I hadn't seen in. Then it happened again and I realised it's quite easy to do. If a child is under the water, you have seconds. It's silent. You think it would be noisy and spluttery but it's not. You think you'd notice and have time to come pounding across the hall but you don't. Their lungs are tiny. It's terrifying. My children do risk sports and I have to be ok with it so I'm not hysterical about them. But with this one, I can really see how many parents end up with a tragedy on their hands. You need to be physically in the room with line of sight the entirety of the time, no exceptions.

TerrorWig · 14/04/2020 19:51

If it was me - yes I’d probably be ok with it, because I know that I’d be listening out, talking to them and generally flitting back and forth.

Anyone else I wouldn’t trust to be as alert as me.

TerrorWig · 14/04/2020 19:53

Having said that I never did that when my boys were little so I’m talking shit really. The most i would do would be nip to the bannister literally outside the bathroom door for a towel.

0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 14/04/2020 19:54

And I have put shivering, wailing children on the bathroom floor on rare occasions rather than leave them unattended for 'just a minute'. Recently, yet another celebrity tragically lost their toddler in a swimming pool death. The mother put a bite of brownie in her mouth as her son ran past her. He was dead before she had swallowed. It is unbelievably fast.

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