To be sad that so many rituals of the year will be list in 2020

[Carbosug]

Not a major issue in the bigger scheme, but there's always something comforting about the small rituals that mark the progress of the year. This summer there'll be no school sports days, prize-givings, Wimbledon on the telly, loads of people departing for beach holidays in August and then that feeling of life reverting to its normal pace in Autumn.

AIBU to miss all these things?

YANBU whatsoever

Biggest sadness will be the fact that all the VE Day 75th anniversary celebrations will be cancelled and after they moved the May Day Bank Holiday for it too

Football, Tennis, F1, etc... can wait but sadly VE75 will be sorely missed especially when I see Capt Tom on TV

Oh, and I don't think Strictly will be on this year either

YANBU at all. These are the happy milestones of your life, the things you love and give your life meaning.

It's no one's business to tell you otherwise.

I also miss all those things.

I am feeling very sad. My youngest is in nursery and his best friend will be going to a different school come September, he is missing so much time and will now likely not see him again. My eldest is in year 6 and I am so upset that she’s missing the very end of her primary school life, sitting her sats and awaiting the results, post sats trips, residential, taster days at their new secondary schools, last ever sports day, leavers mass, leavers performance, signing shirts, guard of arms as they leave school for the last time - it actually breaks my heart!

It’s hard to feel positive about the future too when it’s so uncertain what is going to happen or when it will be ‘over’ as such.

This 100%, plus this

Last weekend was beautiful, Monday was even a hot bank holiday. It's almost cruel that the weather is so nice, and yet we can't spend it with friends and family.

I find when its warm and lovely weather but I'm stuck at work, its eased knowing that I will be able to get my sunshine when I go away. Obviously now this is more unlikely to happen. This makes me sad too. Just a wasted summer, spending what time I can in my small garden (Im still WFH so dont have too much free time), but wishing I could be elsewhere or at least have confirmed plans to be elsewhere soonish.

Earlier today I had my spotify list on of all the liked songs (so a couple of thousand songs on there on shuffle) and Euphoria by Loreen came on. This made me feel sad as there would be no Eurovision this year. Usually that song lifts me up and makes me smile.

Its not all that often we have something big in our lives. Yes we have a birthday every year, but not a big birthday. We have children that leave a school year every year, but its not every year that its such a big significant one (ie leaving year 6 or 11). So the little things are nice to look forward to and when these are taken away what else do you have?

Unfortunately I think the government will just extend the lockdown further tomorrow without being able to say what the plan is after the next 3 weeks is over (or however long they decide to extend it by). Then again I dont think they will even know themselves. Not until they have seen the figures for the next couple of weeks both here and in Europe (see how Italy, Spain and other countries do with easing up on lockdown)

Of course things could be worse and I am grateful that none of my immediate family are vulnerable. I am also grateful that I still have a job and not losing any money. My extended family are all safe and well too. This, however, does not mean that I can't feel sad about other things.

My 4 eldest are at secondary and college, and youngest only 2 so no sports day this year anyway, but my 2nd eldest is yr11, and unlike his DB he actually wanted to go to prom, and obviously missing his GCSEs, not getting his yearbook or hoodie signed.

I felt sad that I was due to go to the theatre the day after they closed them...... then I felt sad that I'm not going to get my holiday. But then I thought - worse for dd2.... should have done A-levels / prom / first "mates" holiday abroad after A-levels..... she'll never be 18 again. Then dd1 - won't have a graduation ceremony..... but then I started thinking about the poor souls who have had to postpone their weddings..... but at least they will get them at some point, and I started thinkng about the families who can't hold a "proper" funeral and wake for the loved ones they've lost.
It somehow all puts my little sadnesses into perspective for me.

It's weird isn't it, how the fact that "It isn't as bad as......" somehow consoles us.

I am glad my kids aren't at school moving points where they'll miss various things, it would be sad, for example, to miss a school leavers' assembly, especially if you've seen one child's already.

We're missing what would have been several bar/bat mitzvahs this year, including our daughter's, which we have deferred to next year (as it happens our synagogue has just started moving bat mitzvahs to 13, same as bar mitzvahs, from next year). I think we'll be able to have some kind of gathering for it by mid next year when it will be held, but I imagine it will still have to be scaled down and grandparents/vulnerable relatives may still be unable to attend unless there's been massive leaps in treatment and management by then.

I haven't been home in 7 months now. I was hoping to go for a week in March and then lockdown happened. I can obviously facetime or watsapp video call but it is not the same. My dd misses preschool and has been getting herself ready in the mornings for school, I then have to explain that school is closed for a while. Kids will miss their leavers proms and last day of primary school, which is sad. In the grander scheme of things they are not important but still, it helps to have things to look forward too.

I can’t say I have any of these rituals in my life to miss. I live away from family so can’t celebrate birthdays together - plus mine is at Christmas so is a non event anyway. Glad they cancelled the Grand National as it’s cruel, and have zero interest in Wimbledon. No events or social life.

For me, I’m just hoping loved ones stay healthy. Kinda bummed that there’s no point in planning a holiday, and I miss sitting in a coffee shop with a book at times, but beyond that I’m not missing much.

@Feelingsosadandguilty

Not missing ANY of this stuff

Totally loving the break from mostly pointless doing doing doing

I'm sad that DH and kids have had/will have lockdown birthdays. I'm sad not to see my parents as I see them more or less every day normally. I'm sad that this is probably going to be my dog's last summer and he might not get to frolic on a beach again.

I'm also disappointed that band season for my DD and I is pretty much going to roll from last Christmas to this with nothing in between. I only had 1 concert in Feb and every other event throughout spring and summer has cancelled. I might consider playing Somewhere over the rainbow on my doorstep at 8pm tomorrow as some banding communities are doing.

I am sad for things that my children will miss - last year of primary, school trips etc. Definitely not Wimbledon! First world problem though and it's better than being dead.

I'm sad that my eldest DS will miss his last months of primary school, not only for him but for us parents too. we also had out first ever trip planned, just me and him, to London whilst his class was on their residential trip (he has ASD and chose not to go) so unlikely we will get this time to go again. My other DS will have his birthday in lockdown and we had planned to go away this week for it, something we never do. Maybe this will teach us to do more as a family.

No not at all.
I had our baby in January and as I was suffering with pnd and C-section recovery, we're still to meet family and introduce little madam. My DH Granddad is nearly 99 and I'm desperate for them to meet.
We'd also planned lots of mini adventures while I was on maternity to really make the most of it including a trip to Chicago where we should be now, Scottish adventure and a trip to our favourite place in Rhodes.
I had a crap pregnancy, awful labour experience and breastfeeding fiasco so I was FINALLY hoping for some respite and to have some fun while we could afford it. Instead funds have been used to buy 'new' baby things and having to spend more on online shops instead of our usual lidl trips.
My nephew's in year 6 and is likely not to see his friends and teacher again, I just feel sad for him and his friends.

My son is in his last year of primary school and I feel sad that he'll be missing all the leavers' events, especially as he also missed the last week before lockdown due to self isolating. His sister's class did drama projects with school in years 5 and 6, his year was the first year they stopped doing a year 5 production and they'll be missing the year 6 one as well. Tbh a lot of the little things I'm quite relieved not to be doing, but those are the main ones I feel sad about.

It is an emotional time DS has been in pre school nearly 3 years, he is due to start junior infants it makes me sad he won't see his preschool classroom again, or his keyworker who fought for a grant to keep him there. She has been invaluable to us.
Everything else is shit up in the air.

I'm missing all of those little things. I'm missing my DN coming home from uni at weekends hungry and with washing (he does it himself, he just doesn't want to pay for the launderette).
I'm missing seeing my DD come on with her physio and speech therapy as it's all cancelled and as much as we're trying we're not as good.
There are so many things.

MIL lives with us and she is so close to all of her grandchildren. BIL & his GF have a 14 week old baby and she is missing him terrible. We all are. He'll be so different by the time we see him again.

The big thing for us is we had plans to scatter FIL's ashes. It feels like MIL is in a bit of limbo waiting for that

Do you think we'll even have regular New Years celebrations this year? I know that's a few months off, but I wouldn't count on it.

Yes to all this. I sometimes get a bit melancholy about the markers of the year and the passage of time, particularly things like the olympics that seems to come round more frequently as I get older! But the feeling of the year being on pause is just so odd. I am on maternity leave & whilst in some ways that is a lot easier than a lot of other people’s situations, I agree with a PP that DS won’t remember, but I will

London Marathon, a family wedding, significant birthday for DP, our first holiday as a family, my nephew finishing primary school... all these are either cancelled or won’t be the same. My job & how I do it will have changed, but right now I don’t know how, until I return to work.

I have faith that life will one day return to a new sort of normal.

I think it will last officially throughout May. My bosses are saying they don’t reckon we’ll be back in the office until June.

We can work at home so I doubt we'll be back in the office for many months.

I feel similar, and feel reassured reading this thread as there are so many posts on social media about appreciating the new pace of life etc. I’m thankful my family is healthy, and we are able to be together, but also sad (and worried too - I’m pregnant and my DM is in the high risk category).

I feel sad about having no Easter celebrations - this always involves getting together with wider family etc for us. It’s DDs 3rd birthday in a couple of weeks, which is normally a lovely get together with family & friends.

DD started preschool last summer, and they had lots of lovely things planned for this term. I’m missing the weekly ritual of dropping her off, picking her up and going to the park.

Not ritual related, but DD2 due in August, and I had lots of things planned for DD and I before the baby comes- train into London, another trip to the theatre, bus ride around town. Nothing massively exciting but still a little sad.

My DD is in year 12. She was made house captain at the beginning of the year. She fought so hard for that post and was looking forward to sports day, cheerleading competition and house music competition, which are the only times they get to shine in that role. She’s also taken on leadership of the gospel choir at school - they took part in the Christmas concert which went down well and she was looking forward to the Easter and summer concerts and possibly performing at a teacher’s wedding. These have all been cancelled and she’s so sad that she’s put a lot of effort into planning these events and they have come to nought. If they go back on September they will have mocks then a short period of leadership before handing over to year 12s in January. I am encouraging her to set up the gospel choir virtually, teach them the music she had planned for the concerts then they can have a nice time rehearsing and singing together. Always look on the bright side of life ....

I feel most for years 6 11 and 13. Dd 1 in year 9 I’m not that bothered but sad for dd2 in year 6 watching all the other years leave excited that this years its their turn 🙁