To be sad that so many rituals of the year will be list in 2020

[Carbosug]

Not a major issue in the bigger scheme, but there's always something comforting about the small rituals that mark the progress of the year. This summer there'll be no school sports days, prize-givings, Wimbledon on the telly, loads of people departing for beach holidays in August and then that feeling of life reverting to its normal pace in Autumn.

AIBU to miss all these things?

LaurieMarlow

I find rituals very meaningful myself

Me too, they make life so much richer.

Of course not, OP.

DD has worked so hard for four years for her degree. She's just been awarded her grade (so essentially, graduated) even before she's handed in her dissertation - they've averaged out grades to decide upon it. She got a first but it feels a bit worthless to her - all the research and work she put into her dissertation wasn't even taken into account, and she won't get her graduation ceremony.

We've cancelled two UK city breaks which we usually go on in early summer to see friends.

So many small sadnesses which aren't made any less sad by the bigger picture.

So sad, that I find I can't think too much about them.

Even primary school sports day, which I usually don't like.

I miss the bluebells in the woods and parks that are closed, I’m ill anyway. Two weeks of them and they are wonderful, I look forward to it all winter

These aren't small things. They're the bricks our life are built from. Without these markers throughout the year, all we have are days.

I'm absolutely gutted, mostly for DS, who is missing out on so much. But for me too. Digging out my summer gear, walking into town to refresh my wardrobe. Getting my hair done. Seeing my sisters for a piss up on my birthday in June, I love my birthday because its sandal weather.

It's mostly gone now and it's utterly shit. It's perfectly OK to feel how you feel about it, regardless of the 'well would you rather be dead' automatons.

I think it’s fine to feel this way, I’m grateful that we don’t have any big milestones in our family this year (no one is finishing primary, doing exams, getting married etc) but I’d be sad if that wasn’t the case. Hopefully won’t be long until we can resume the usual traditions that are part of the ebb and flow of the year

I feel really sad for all the primary school 'graduates', the school leavers at GCSE/Huggers/Alevels etc, and university graduates.

I feel sadness for my Cubs as well. So many cancelled events, and the likelihood quite a few will be Scouts when we return. (And whether the Beaver colony will be viable- will need a massive recruitment campaign)

I agree.

DS2 is in year 6. Every year , the year 6s do a summer play, and DS2 was due to have a big part. He’s been looking forward to this moment and talking about it ever since reception. Of all the things he’s missing (first ever residential trip, sports day, final assembly, Easter bingo, summer fair), that’s the one thing he’s most upset about. In the grand scheme of things it’s utterly trivial, but it makes me sad.
Even if the schools return for a couple of weeks, none of these things will get done, and it’ll all be a bit meaningless.

I also feel sad that the VE Day 75th anniversary celebrations won’t happen.

My mother has a chronic illness. She may have many years of rituals and yearly pleasures ahead of her. Or this may be the last year she’s well enough for them.

We just don’t know. And that uncertainty, on top of all the rest of it, is pretty upsetting.

She has already missed out on meeting a newborn grandchild. The baby will be fully out of the newborn stage (and probably too wriggly and heavy for my mother to be able to hold her) by the time she gets to see her again.

It’s just very sad.

I’m gutted Eurovision has been cancelled!

I agree, OP.
It's all the little rituals that give shape to the year, something to look forward tp and to plan for.
My DS is in yr 11 - no GCSes for him, and he was looking forward to them (as a chance to show what he could do), no prom, no leavers' assembly, no last day of school, no last day of wearing the blazer.
I was 60 in January - I didn't want a party, so we had lots of things planned to last throughout the year. Bugger all now. No theatre trips, no city breaks.
And when we're all allowed out again, I'll probably catch the damn thing.
So all I've done is made a Will.
Woohoo.

It's a shame that they had to call off the Isle of Man TT, the Grand National and other major events. Can't say I'm sorry Wimbledon is off though, if it spares us from seeing the ghastly Sue Barker all fortnight.

Yes, many things. Graduation for myself, Holidays, Wimbledon, Henley, the endless amount of cancelled shows, birthday, and just the normal rhythm of life. The payoff will be worth it though, that’s what keeps me going.

My Masters graduation has been cancelled. DH is turning 30 in two weeks and I’ll be 30 next month, so no celebrations for either of us. Our holiday next month isn’t happening. We can’t even go out for dinner on our anniversary next week.

I know these are all small things in the grand scheme of things but I’m so, so disappointed. I’ve been really looking forward to loads of events this spring/summer and none of it is happening.

YANBU. I'm sad about missing things too. DS and I were supposed to be at Butlins right now.

This is the first year since the kids were tiny that we haven’t spent Easter with my sister and niece and nephew. Normally either they come here or we go there and do local Easter egg hunts, scarecrow trail, go to a national trust, etc.

I’m just glad that none of my kids are in pivotal years so won’t be missing out on graduation assemblies or exams etc

I get what you mean, OP. The weeks, months and years have sort-of landmarks to them that indicate where you are in their progress.

Without those landmarks on a weekly basis, I struggle to know what day of the week it is.

I fear without them on a monthly basis, the year will just go by without my noticing how much of the year has gone.

the year will just go by without my noticing how much of the year has gone.

I think this is a very good point. This should for many be the Easter holidays, but it doesn't even feel like Easter, as schools have been closed for almost a month. It's all sort of merging together with a sense of groundhog day.

I agree OP

Ds1 is graduating this year, obviously not sure whether graduation ceremony will take place (i will be renting a cap and gown and getting the sodding photo even if its from a fancy dress shop) And obviously getting a job will be difficult

Dd doing her A levels, except obviously she isnt and she is disappointed. Her first summer holiday may be canceled, she had a big audition that had to be canceled, she got a small part time job which has been canceled, her friends are turning 18 so all those parties and going out to night clubs have been canceled Etc etc

Ds2 ...well i cant Think of much for him except potentially no driving lessons, and he didn’t want them anyway!!

As others have said these things mark the passing of time and all we have now is days,

Yr 6 child here too.
Sad that she will miss her leavers play, school trip, leavers party, shirt signing, and saying goodbye to her friends.
As a family we will miss the Euros, always a big deal here.
No summer holidays to look forward to.

I understand completely why we are doing it, but it doesn’t make it any easier to except.

YANBU
This year has turned into a blank space. I have gone through my diary crossing things out so many times.

So how long does people think lock down will last all year ??

I think it’s natural that we grieve these little slices of normality now we are a few weeks into ‘lockdown’.

@sashh. I watched a programme about Vaisakhi on Sunday. I was completely ignorant about it, but it was nice to learn about it - looked so lovely and uplifting.

I don't have DC at school, but the other markers like the Grand National, Eurovision, my nan's birthday afternoon tea - all of these things herald the start of the nice part of the year. I'm due to go on holiday in May to where I scattered DH's ashes last year, I was looking forward to being able to talk to him in situ, so to speak. I'm sad about that. But it's even sadder that funerals during this period are so restricted.

The lockdown may not last all year but most things have been cancelled because of the uncertainty.