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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sad that so many rituals of the year will be list in 2020

168 replies

Carbosug · 14/04/2020 09:02

Not a major issue in the bigger scheme, but there's always something comforting about the small rituals that mark the progress of the year. This summer there'll be no school sports days, prize-givings, Wimbledon on the telly, loads of people departing for beach holidays in August and then that feeling of life reverting to its normal pace in Autumn.

AIBU to miss all these things?

OP posts:
dollface19 · 14/04/2020 12:12

I understand lots of social gatherings will definitely be cancelled but I'm more concerned about just seeing my family all being well x

elliejjtiny · 14/04/2020 12:22

It's ok to miss the small things. My dc's sports club has been cancelled and I was meant to be taking my youngest to his occupational therapy session yesterday.

FaFoutis · 14/04/2020 12:24

I'm more concerned about just seeing my family all being well

Obviously the rest of us are more concerned about sports day than our families being well.

Jeezoh · 14/04/2020 12:28

You are allowed to feel sad about one thing whilst also being worried about another! Hmm

FlamingoAndJohn · 14/04/2020 12:29

I agree.
All the big things I can almost mental process. But then it’s the little things that almost catch you unawares.
Both me and DH will have birthdays in lockdown. We normally see friends for Eurovision. I never thought I’d miss my friends as much. We are all introverts so don’t get together that much.

HillAreas · 14/04/2020 12:31

People’s lives and memories are made up of all these little things, and they are important to us whether we realise it at the time or not.
I think it’s ok to feel sad about what we are all missing out on. I’m sad I can’t take my baby swimming or to soft play for the first time, trips to the nice parks near us now winter has finally fucked off. He won’t remember this time, but I will.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 14/04/2020 12:31

Yes, feel the same. It’s feels like a lost year. It’s hard to feel positive about the future too when it’s so uncertain what is going to happen or when it will be ‘over’ as such.

5foot5 · 14/04/2020 12:32

Absolutely.

No Eurovision.
No concerts on the band stand in the park.
No RHS Tatton.
Sad

LaurieMarlow · 14/04/2020 12:34

You are allowed to feel sad about one thing whilst also being worried about another!

There's a certain type of literal Mumsnetter for whom this is entirely too complicated a thought.

FaFoutis · 14/04/2020 12:38

Yes, a lost year. My oldest is 15, it feels like the last bit of his childhood. I had festivals and trips booked to enjoy it with him.

maternityclothes · 14/04/2020 12:39

I know, it seems silly but my ds was meant to be having his first sports day at nursery in June. I'd taken annual leave for it.
We're also missing various weddings and social events.

TheEndIsBillNighy · 14/04/2020 12:40

It’s unbelievably sad, OP. I’m in total agreement.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 14/04/2020 12:52

I wonder what this year will be called when history is written? It's rather like 1861 'The Year Without a Summer'. I am just hoping that things will be looking better by August/September and then there will be a huge rush of sporting events, celebrations, etc., although I think social distancing will remain for a very long time, at least until a vaccine is found and proven to be effective.

1point21gigawatts · 14/04/2020 12:53

I'm terribly sad about my DD missing the end of her last year at first school. She will go to middle school in September and we were all looking forward to the end of year show, the leavers disco, her last school summer fair. I don't know what will happen about transition days and how we will buy new uniform. DD is particularly gutted because she really wanted a main part in the show and has been working up to this the whole year (and last year too!!)

Obviously in the grand scheme of things this is totally irrelevant, but to her and me and all her school friends and parents, it's a big deal, a once in a lifetime transition which won't happen. It's sad.

Rockbird · 14/04/2020 12:56

We've already had a family wedding and dd2's first communion postponed indefinitely. And DD1 is missing her first year of year 7 which I know isn't as exciting as year 6 but it's their bedding in year at high school before they knuckle down in year 8. But yes of course it's more important that as many people come out of this as well as possible.

dementedma · 14/04/2020 12:58

Yes, Easter was odd this year. Ds was due to be playing in a show in the Fringe and thats been cancelled. No Tattoo this year either. Edinburgh will feel very odd this summer, and take a huge financial hit

MsTSwift · 14/04/2020 13:02

Don’t care about big sports events but admit had a little weep when realised dd ended primary without any of the usual stuff she had been looking forward to literally for years. Got over myself but still

moobar · 14/04/2020 13:05

I know what you mean.

For us it's the agricultural shows and common ridings which sort of define the outline of the year. Those were all off the year of the foot and mouth so it has happened before but it's unusual.

isseywith4vampirecats · 14/04/2020 13:14

for us this year we have lost 3 live music gigs, 3 motorbike rallies countless one day bike shows, our club meet each week going to other bike clubs probably our holiday to Scotland I am so missing our social life

isseywith4vampirecats · 14/04/2020 13:18

and before anyone says I don't care about others my OHs daughter is an icu nurse in Swansea and we are worried sick about her shes doing 12 hour shifts with covid patients im just praying that people I know will come through this alive and well

Applejaxx · 14/04/2020 13:19

No Edinburgh Military Tattoo either. I always associate that with the August Bank Holiday and the end of summer because that’s when the BBC broadcast it.

Sunshine1235 · 14/04/2020 13:21

The winter felt so long this year and now it feels like the whole of the spring and the summer will be lost to this virus. And then it all be autumn/winter again 😢

lazylinguist · 14/04/2020 13:26

Maybe a year without all these usual occurrences will make everyone appreciate them all the more when life resumes!

alittleprivacy · 14/04/2020 13:30

Weirdly the biggest thing that triggers this type of grief in me is DS's extracurricular activities. I had made the decision the last time he went to those classes that it was his last time for a while. I'd told him to go in and really enjoy it, and though he's only 7, he knew that meant that he'd not be going again for a while. So when I got the texts at the end of that week/beginning of the following week saying that his classes were cancelled, I was relieved because it meant that it wasn't up to me deciding to keep him home.

And then, all of a sudden I was so, so sad. Just the thought of all of these businesses set up by women as a way to make a living through something they love, just gone for an indefinite period. All the things they do, the plans they had. The hard work they put in, the organisation, the relationships they have build with the children and the children with each other. Gone. And while they will probably come back, it's not guaranteed. And now several times a week, they make videos to send to us on the parents group of activities for the kids to do. For us to send in to them, to keep the kids connected and engaged. It's so sweet and sad that I'm actually crying a bit now while I type.

namechangenumber2 · 14/04/2020 13:55

I'm sad that it's DS1's last year at school - we're unsure what the impact will be on his results, his prom is cancelled , his long awaited long summer holiday with his friends is unlikely to happen. We're not even sure what will happen with starting college in September. Who knows.

It's DS2's last year at primary school - he isn't so fazed as is very introverted so isn't so upset about missing friends, the end of primary school performance and his last ever sports day. I am though, as he's my youngest so they were my "lasts" too Sad