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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aggressive supermarket colleague

116 replies

JillBob · 13/04/2020 17:50

Just to preface this, I appreciate we’re in very odd times and we all need to pull together, be responsible and follow the rules.
That being said, I’d like to gauge peoples opinions on this situation:

Today I innocently entered the bakery aisle of a well known supermarket to collect some bread and was unaware I had entered it in the wrong direction (it was not until I left the store that I found there had been a change to the way you can walk around the aisles - everyone up until that point was walking down aisles in any direction they wished).

One of the bakery colleagues then shouted at me quite loudly about the fact I had entered the aisle in the incorrect direction. I then turned around to go in the correct direction and she was stood berating me very loudly and aggressively to whoever would listen causing many people to stare at me as I just went to get bread.

This really was a genuine mistake and I feel like she could have handled this better. Not going to lie that I was very upset leaving the store.

I’m just wondering if I should expect this now, this is normal behaviour to expect going out for a shop and I’m being over sensitive or was this unacceptable?

OP posts:
EatDessertFirst · 13/04/2020 17:52

She was rude.
But you should be more aware of your surroundings. The Asda near me (for example) has massive black arrows taped on the floor showing the direction you should be going in. You can't miss them.

Sparklingbrook · 13/04/2020 17:52

She possibly could have handled it better. Maybe you were the bajillionth person today to go the wrong way or something.

What exactly did she say?

Marlouse · 13/04/2020 18:00

This is not on. I would ring the storemanager if I were you. If she really screamed at you and she even started berating you and complaining to other people about you, then imho this went too far.
Could be that she is overworked, but then at least her manager should be made aware so that he can help her with the pressure that she is under.

Sort of same thing happened in a supermarket in our neighborhood. There are some girls working there who can not deal with the pressure at all and have been kicking off massively at random customers.
My elderly neighbor got called a c#nt. She was in tears when this happened. I was shocked when I heard it.

Please do appreciate that they are under a lot of stress. Probably working very long hours and they (and their family) are at a mayor risk, of course.
However, if the pressure gets too much and they start yelling and stuff, really I think it should be reported to the manager.

SharpieInThe · 13/04/2020 18:03

Do you work there too?

Original poster
JillBob · 13/04/2020 18:03

@EatDessertFirst in all honesty once she had said, I noticed quite small circular signs with arrows on but genuinely didn’t realise a directional flow was in place as people were going up and down aisles as normal. The bakery is right at the other end of the store so I had managed to get down there, witness people moving freely etc before I got there. I do take your point though that a better awareness of surroundings is a good thing.

@Sparklingbrook pretty much along the lines of what do you think you’re doing, do you think you’re special - (no I really didn’t). I think the on going berating she continued with as I picked up the actual bread was the worst. The feeling of eyes on you from all directions was awful

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 13/04/2020 18:06

Oh that's not on @JillBob asking whether you thought you were special. Sad I would have been upset too. Which supermarket was this? I would be inclined to ring the store and mention this to them. Or maybe use Twitter?

Matildathehun77 · 13/04/2020 18:07

You call her a "colleague" so you work there too? If that's the case then she probably thought that somebody who works in the supermarket should really know and remember the new rules and be able to set a good example. It doesn't excuse her rudeness but I'd suggest dealing with this away from customers.

Original poster
JillBob · 13/04/2020 18:07

@SharpieInThe no I don’t work there and in all honesty I don’t think I’ll be returning to that store again.

@Marlouse I completely understand that there is lots of pressure and worry for supermarket workers at the moment. They really are doing a brilliant job in awful times. I think I’m putting my situation out there to gauge if I’m being unreasonable in being upset or should just give the lady some slack?

OP posts:
Matildathehun77 · 13/04/2020 18:08

Oh just seen in your update that you don't work there? How is she your colleague then? Confused

Original poster
JillBob · 13/04/2020 18:10

@Matildathehun77 sorry that was probably a confusing word to use. More like bakery assistant/employee

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 13/04/2020 18:11

I think you should be cutting her some slack. As said you do really need to be aware of your surroundings and what's going on around you.

Part of us coming out of lock down will be how we behave when we are out, not by staying in.

browneyes77 · 13/04/2020 18:14

@Matildathehun77 retail assistants in stores are called colleagues.

The OP said ‘one of THE bakery colleagues’, not one of MY bakery colleagues.

notchickenagain · 13/04/2020 18:14

Of course you give her some slack. Just accept that she doesn't want to be there, she didn't sign up for this and she's doing her best to keep everybody including you to stay safe. She'll be upset with herself when she gets home but you were probably the last straw.

NotExactlyHappyToHelp · 13/04/2020 18:16

Colleague is the terminology used in the over the tannoy announcements in my store.

YANBU it wasn’t acceptable behaviour but we’re at the end of our tethers to be honest. I very nicely pointed out it was a one way system to a woman in my store on Friday. She huffed and puffed that she didn’t want to go down every aisle and I said that’s fine but if you want to come down this particular aisle you need to pop up the next one then down this one. I got called a fucking slag and what the fucks it got to do with me, she’ll do what she fucking well likes etc etc. We’re all on edge at the moment.

I’d let it go rather than report to the store.

optimisticpessimist01 · 13/04/2020 18:17

Give her a break, if she did bark at you the way she did she is obviously just having a very shit time during a very stressful period in a very stressful job role. She shouldn't have spoken to you like that but I wouldn't make a complaint. Whats the point? Take it on the chin

Sparklingbrook · 13/04/2020 18:19

I agree that people that work in supermarkets are very stressed and they probably don't want to be there. But all they needed to do was to point out the system, without all the rest of the comments.

BoingBoingyBoing · 13/04/2020 18:23

Forget about it and move on.

Definately don't be that dickhead who phones or takes to social media to complain.

Original poster
JillBob · 13/04/2020 18:23

@NotExactlyHappyToHelp I’m really sorry to hear someone spoke to you that way. I think if she’d spoken to me the same way you had spoken to your customer and left it at that, I’d have just taken it on the chin but I think the public shaming was a bit much

OP posts:
NotExactlyHappyToHelp · 13/04/2020 18:28

@JillBob of course it was absolutely wrong the way she spoke to you but you don’t know how many customers had sworn at, ignored and disrespected her that day previous to your encounter.

I’m pretty hardy and the ruder they are the nicer I am but some of my colleagues are having a really tough time. I’m sure a few of them despite being lovely have snapped a couple of times. Of course she could just be a dragon all the time, every stores got one or two.

RedHelenB · 13/04/2020 18:29

YABU. You got pulled up on something, no big deal.

Tunnocks34 · 13/04/2020 18:29

I would complain To be honest. It’s a Scary time, and whilst she has every right to point out the one way system, being scared doesn’t give her the right to be an arsehole. All she needed to say was ‘excuse me, there is a one way system now, can you go the other way please’

Success1986 · 13/04/2020 18:31

When i was shopping i was following the arrows and people who were were making me very nervous although she seemed rude and handled it wrong i kind of wish someone like her was about when i was there. You might feel embarrassed but maybe you were making other shoppers anxious by not following the rules. I wouldnt complain she is prob totally stressed out for minimum wage

Appiandterri · 13/04/2020 18:46

on going berating she continued with as I picked up the actual bread

So, despite her starting to make you aware you were going the wrong way, you continued on your mission and went to get your bread?

Original poster
JillBob · 13/04/2020 18:49

@Appiandterri no I had turned around and entered the aisle the correct way at this point to pick up the bread

OP posts:
ukgift2016 · 13/04/2020 18:51

I had an supermarket assistant tell me off for not following the arrows. Like you I had no idea there were arrows :/ I brushed it off as they are likely stressed.