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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aggressive supermarket colleague

116 replies

JillBob · 13/04/2020 17:50

Just to preface this, I appreciate we’re in very odd times and we all need to pull together, be responsible and follow the rules.
That being said, I’d like to gauge peoples opinions on this situation:

Today I innocently entered the bakery aisle of a well known supermarket to collect some bread and was unaware I had entered it in the wrong direction (it was not until I left the store that I found there had been a change to the way you can walk around the aisles - everyone up until that point was walking down aisles in any direction they wished).

One of the bakery colleagues then shouted at me quite loudly about the fact I had entered the aisle in the incorrect direction. I then turned around to go in the correct direction and she was stood berating me very loudly and aggressively to whoever would listen causing many people to stare at me as I just went to get bread.

This really was a genuine mistake and I feel like she could have handled this better. Not going to lie that I was very upset leaving the store.

I’m just wondering if I should expect this now, this is normal behaviour to expect going out for a shop and I’m being over sensitive or was this unacceptable?

OP posts:
Rosebel · 14/04/2020 01:49

Maybe because customers are rude and abusive to staff and that's not limited to the pandemic either. Having said that I wouldn't talk to a customer that way but I just wonder how much abuse the assistant had already taken that day.

Goldenbear · 14/04/2020 02:00

YANBU, to be fair you don't know what stress the customers are under either - they could be close to someone who has died from it, they could be working in a job that has similar risk or more as a retail assistant, they may have just lost their job and even if that's one that is well paid as opposed to a Retail Assistant, it doesn't mean their whole life as they know it has not come crashing down around them. Retail Assistants deserve respect and good manners but the same goes for Customers.

I'm shocked at how the supermarkets are exploiting the situation and nothing is on offer anymore or is more expensive.

Goldenbear · 14/04/2020 02:05

The point is Customers can be stressed to and most likely are. These restrictive rules wouldn't exist if the Coronavirus was not having a substantial impact on lots of people so by the law of probability there will be stresses going on in the customer's life to. How about if the OP had a relative or friend who had recently died from the virus or something else and this Bakery Assistant was berating them over the one way system, it is really wrong on many levels!

JemSynergy · 14/04/2020 02:21

I was shouted at in Sainsbury's while queuing, I was well behind the line which stretched back by an aisle and I was no where even near the till or the person in front as they were paying. Therefore, we were way beyond the 20 metres from each other. I was baffled by why the the floor supervisor shouted at me really because there was no more room for me to step back anyway. I let it go that time but I can't be sure I will if I am shouted at again for something I'm not in the wrong for.

JemSynergy · 14/04/2020 02:25

Oops don't think I meant 20 metres🤪

HarrySnotter · 14/04/2020 07:37

Why is it okay for people working in shops to be rude all of a sudden?

Did anyone say that it was ok for people working in shops to be rude? I can't see that they did.

Carbosug · 14/04/2020 08:48

She behaved badly but, to be honest, people who are oblivious to arrows, distance boxes etc in supermarkets are an absolute pain at the moment. Everytime I go to the supermarket someone does something thoughtless and when you're living with somebody vulnerable that can be quite upsetting.

SpiritEssence · 14/04/2020 08:58

The store I work at I noticed there are black arrows everywhere except the bread aisle so it's free for all. I have pointed this out and hope they fix it

SpiritEssence · 14/04/2020 09:00

Golden bear

Same could be said for shop workers who have to put up with crap all day long

Goldenbear · 14/04/2020 09:54

Well of course so why not behave in a civilised way, with mutual respect being observed?

The Waitrose I visit doesn't have any arrows, just stools at the till to mark the 2 metre distance.

Goldenbear · 14/04/2020 10:03

I.e it is not ok to take your stress out on someone in the middle of the shop like the Bakery Assistant did to the OP. Just like it wouldn't have been ok fo the Customer to shout at the Bakery Assistant if she had not kept her distance.

dontdisturbmenow · 14/04/2020 10:07

Sorry but it's very hard to miss and yes, people like you really annoy me. There are plenty who seem totally oblivious mainly because they are on a mission to get what they want and don't stop to pay attention.

I don't blame the staff because she has to deal with people like you all the time, people putting others and herself at risk. Some will respond with a genuine 'im so sorry', many will respond with sarcasm or rudeness.

Goldenbear · 14/04/2020 10:30

it's not that hard to miss for all sorts of reasons, particularly if your mind is on something else that is going on in your life and who doesn't think I need to get in and get out of the supermarket! I hope my 70 year old Mum doesn't come across supermarket employees like this, it's a form of bullying. Talk about self absorbed if you don't understand that other people might be affected by the Coronavirus at the moment. These 'rules' didn't come about to piss off retail staff, it's a pandemic, there are lots of stressed people at the moment.

IFancyANamechange · 14/04/2020 10:35

She could of handled it better, but it is really annoying when people don’t notice. You should be aware of your surroundings.

Genuine question - why put ‘well known supermarket’ in the OP. Why not say Tesco or whatever?

redcarbluecar · 14/04/2020 10:38

I think she was very out of order, particularly to keep berating your after she’d said something once. I’d put it down to stress though - I imagine it’s pretty awful working in shops at the moment. I’d feel upset too though, and hope you feel better soon.

Original poster
JillBob · 14/04/2020 10:49

@IFancyANameChange I put well known supermarket as it might be that this particular lady may be on Mumsnet and didn’t want them to think oh that was me as I work in that supermarket and start worrying.

Also wanted to see if this was something that was happening across all supermarkets not just a particular one and by putting the name of the supermarket comments might lean towards that particular brand.

Genuinely really grateful for the comments.

OP posts:
Goldenbear · 14/04/2020 10:49

Is there a law they've passed on being 'aware of your surroundings'? There are quite a few people who are not always aware of their surroundings because their mind is on something else, like how are they going to pay their mortgage now they have lost their job, how they going to help their parents overcome the death of their sister/brother that they weren't allowed to visit due to them dying from the virus. Or even, they're semi death and haven't been able to sort out their hearing aid that has broken as they would need to visit the clinic that is situated in a hospital and they have been advised not to attend for obvious reasons due to their age. I can think of a whole host of reasons people aren't aware of arrows on a floor.

Goldenbear · 14/04/2020 10:51

Sorry that should read, deaf not 'death'.

lidoshuffle · 14/04/2020 10:51

We talk of teaching children resilience, it sounds as if some adults need it too.

We are in extraordinary times. Someone was rude and shouted at you. Shrug it off and get on with your day. At least you are not on the NHS frontline, then you'd have something to really be concerned about.

Goldenbear · 14/04/2020 11:07

Actually, I never 'talk of resilience' with my children. I don't even know if you can teach it. I think it is acquired or inherited.

That's the whole point though why is the Bakery Assistant assuming that who they are shouting at is fair game?

Want2beme · 14/04/2020 11:12

It is really awful to be treated like that. I'd be seriously angered by it and who knows, maybe at the time I'd have reacted and given her a mouthful back. Probably not, though. I think we've got to realise that some customers are behaving terribly at the moment and staff are having to deal with this as best they can. Even during normal times, retail staff are abused by the public. Give yourself a bit more time to think about it. Maybe forgive her and let it go. She might apologise when she sees you next. Don't let this incidence stop you from going back there.

notchickenagain · 14/04/2020 11:14

Of course you can teach resilience! How do you think you get through life otherwise. Lead by example. If I was in the op's position 'Oops! Sorry! Didn't see it!' Embarrassed laugh and then do what others were doing. It sounds like op just carried on what she was doing so the person got madder. Defusing situations saves a lot of angst on all sides.

Original poster
JillBob · 14/04/2020 11:23

@notchickenagain this is exactly what I did ‘Oops really sorry, didn’t notice’ proceeded to turnaround and go the correct way to get down the aisle where the assistant was continuing to be quite rude after I’d said sorry and done as directed.

Completely get I’d gone the wrong way and I was in the wrong there but the way it was handled by the assistant wasn’t great

OP posts:
PepePig · 14/04/2020 11:28

Well, you won't do it again. Pretty successful if you ask me.

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 14/04/2020 11:34

She was being rude but I'd cut her some luck as people working in supermarkets are under a lot of pressure and are also i would guess getting a load of abuse from people who are upset that certain items have run out or are restricted etc