Aggressive supermarket colleague

[JillBob]

Just to preface this, I appreciate we’re in very odd times and we all need to pull together, be responsible and follow the rules.
That being said, I’d like to gauge peoples opinions on this situation:

Today I innocently entered the bakery aisle of a well known supermarket to collect some bread and was unaware I had entered it in the wrong direction (it was not until I left the store that I found there had been a change to the way you can walk around the aisles - everyone up until that point was walking down aisles in any direction they wished).

One of the bakery colleagues then shouted at me quite loudly about the fact I had entered the aisle in the incorrect direction. I then turned around to go in the correct direction and she was stood berating me very loudly and aggressively to whoever would listen causing many people to stare at me as I just went to get bread.

This really was a genuine mistake and I feel like she could have handled this better. Not going to lie that I was very upset leaving the store.

I’m just wondering if I should expect this now, this is normal behaviour to expect going out for a shop and I’m being over sensitive or was this unacceptable?

Apologies op, misunderstood. That's what I'd have done as well. Can only assume you were the straw that broke the camel's back. Just try and not think about it any more, tense state of affairs all round at the moment.

Well it's debatable how much you can teach resilience but that is a whole different topic.

@Dizzygirl00 they’re coming to buy ridiculous items that are so non essential it’s laughable.

Um, since when is there 'essential' and 'non-essential- items? It is non-essential TRIPS that is being advised against. Once you are at the store, you can buy what you want. If it is there to be sold, it is clearly ok to buy it.

Honestly, why do you think there are 'essential' and 'non-essential' items?

NOWHERE has the govt said anything about only buying 'essential' items. They advise against non-essential trips. That's all. But if you're already there, you can buy what you want. Why are people still so misinformed that they actually think there is some rule unspoken or otherwise vis essential vs non?

As to OP, yes, I would report it to the manager. Yes, we are all stressed. Yes supermarket workers are unreasonably being abused for no fault of their own right now. However you don't fix that by the worker then exploding onto the next person that walks in. Being abused does not give you the right to be an abuser. If everyone had that attitude, that because a supermarket worker had the right to lash out because they lashed out, where would we be? We'd be a bunch of people all lashing out at each other. Just as being bullied doesn't give you a right to bully others, being harassed and abused by customers doesn't give you the right to harass and abuse other customers in return. At the bare least, the manager should be made aware that an employee was verbally abusing you in front of everyone for way longer than your crime was, as if they were 'making an example' of you, and this could cause them to lose customers, as someone above said is the case with a store they went to.

Yanbu she was rude. I can't understand why some posters think her manner was acceptable.

I put well known supermarket as it might be that this particular lady may be on Mumsnet and didn’t want them to think oh that was me as I work in that supermarket and start worrying.

Why ever not? I would hope she does recognise herself and does feel ashamed. Why are you worried about sparing her feelings when she couldn't give a jack about yours?

And for those who say 'cut her some slack' - how about the workers cut the CUSTOMERS some slack? It is not easy for the workers. But it's also not easy for the customers. Especially if it's the first time you've been there since lockdown. Why are people arguing it should be only a one-way street? I could see if the OP was being belligerent after being told, but she said sorry and that she didn't realise. To continue humiliating her and to use her as a veritable punching bag for the previous abusive customers is not right, and no, she should not be cut slack for that.

Not handled professionally, no.
Forgive her, though.
The stress of having to deal with people doing this continually throughout the day in a workplace where we are now fearful of being close to other people, in a job where one of the best parts was engaging with customers, is hard to appreciate.

You can't miss them.

You can very easily miss them if you’re visually impaired!

I think if it’s your mistake (and it was) you should just let it go. No real harm done, maybe try looking where you’re going next time instead of shooting the massager!

YANBU and I can’t believe anyone is sticking up for this shop worker!

I went the wrong way down an aisle in Tesco the other day (it was my first time in there and I Didn’t know it had a one-way system, although I was keeping my distance from everyone) and a woman pointed it out to me (perfectly nicely). I said “Oh sorry, I didn’t realise” and smiled and turned to go the right way. A man then sneered at me and said “Yeah, it’s bloody funny isn’t it?”. When I asked him to repeat what he said I got told I was an idiot and that it was people like me that were the reason other people are dying. Well I wasn’t having any of that and stood up for myself and told him that there was no need to be so aggressive but it actually really shook me up and I felt quite tearful afterwards.

If it had been someone who worked there I would have been asking to speak to the manager. The way people have started to “tell off” other people and use this virus as an excuse to be nasty, when someone is making an innocent mistake, is absolutely not on.

Stand up for yourself and don’t let anyone speak to you like that again.

It’s interesting how two wrongs seem to be equalling right here

Previous customer is rude to employee
Employee is rude to OP
OP applogises
Employee continues on
=op is always wrong and employee should be cut all the slack

We are all under stress. We all make mistakes

There’s no reason to shame and blame and shout at others

God please don't report it, she was a dick but let's just all give each other a break and accept that people might act like dicks sometimes these days.

I think everyone is running on stress a bit right now and you just have to let these things go. I have ASD so can find some normal things difficult anyway, and I had an awful time at the supermarket recently. I was very confused by the arrow system and wasn't sure how to go backwards if I'd forgotten something from an aisle. Also if I stopped to look at a shelf, some people were waiting 2m behind me rather than walking past me so I felt extremely pressured. I got dirty looks from other customers for accidentally doing the wrong things or for taking too long (I was checking ingredients as I have food allergies) and I ended up spending more than double what I would usually spend because I felt so anxious and picked up things I didn't really need but didn't know how to put them back once I'd left the correct aisle. I nearly had a heart attack when the cashier told me how much my shopping cost! It was a good thing I'd brought my other bank card with me or I wouldn't have been able to afford to pay! I'm going to stick to another supermarket local to me which does not have this confusing arrow system until this is over.

@TealWater
Are you one of the people that I’ve seen coming out and ONLY buying cushions, wall art, car air fresheners, I could go on, bringing their whole family out to do so? Making non essential journeys to buy ONLY non essential items. I’m not misinformed. You obviously are.

Under normal circumstances she would be hauled over the coals for speaking to a customer like that. She did not need to go that far going into personal insults and kept pushing it even after you'd corrected your mistake so I'd be going to the manager, and name and shame. Everyone is stressed, everyone is having a rough time, doesn't give you carte blanche to be a twat. Agree some people are using this as an excuse to be nasty.

I work in a supermarket in a bakery and the lady sounds like one of my colleagues.

Said lady has been very regimental about he rules and in a way I don't blame her 75% of people I'd say come close to you and ignore the signs. However I believe there is a way of talking to people but after the 500th person coming far too close it is easy to snap at people. I wouldn't snap at someone going the wrong way though especially after an apology.

@Dizzygirl00 No, I'm not. I am talking about food shopping. As we all were. What you're talking about is another matter entirely. Only one of us goes out at a time. And while I would not shop for cushions or wall art, if it is in a mall, and they are there, well......they're already there. I would never make a non-essential journey just for things like that. And you don't know that they did, either. You don't know their circumstances. So you should mind your own business. If the shops are SELLING those items, then if the shops don't want people to take these unnecessary risks, they'd stop selling the items temporarily. It's the shops that are selling the items, it's their fault, it's not the customers. If shops aren't open for business, then there would be no whole family out buying those things, would there? Your beef is with the shop owners/mall centre management. Not with customers. Your judgement is misdirected.

melj you may have had your measures in place for over a month but some people havent been in a supermarket for over a month either. I need to go this week but we have been using local shops up to now, so I have no idea what is in place at the supermarket. (Only going as need to replenish cleaning products I cant buy locally)

I can't understand why some posters think her manner was acceptable.

Because their manner is no better.

On normal times I'd be pissed off. But retail staff have it so hard right now. They're scared and this comes out as anger sometimes. Also I think you need to be hyper aware of your surroundings when in a supermarket at the moment. She shouldn't have been this rude. But you need to move on. I would have been upset too. But think about how they feel.

Personally, I'd let it go.

I had a bad experience a few weeks ago in a well known Supermarket .(Not my usual store where everyone is polite and kind normally) The cashier was very rude to me and I was almost in tears.I will not be going back there for a long while! I appreciate the stress they are under but some of them seem to enjoy upsetting the people who pay their wages!

I actually clicked on thinking my brother had finally lost it.

However, I agree you should not have been spoken to like that.

My brother was featured in a newspaper over the weekend after a journalist shopping picked up on the abuse he was getting from customers.

Small store, no security, staff also manning door. On Sunday, the same lady came in four times, each time to buy one item, cream, cream, wine then asparagus. The third time she came with her partner, who was asked to wait outside. She started crying. And actually said, oh darling I will miss you.

The fourth time she came in and headed the wrong way. Brother said could you please follow the arrows. She said pardon. He said could you follow the arrows, she went mental. Swearing and shouting at him. Saying she was sick of him and the rules. Blah blah.

This was after the police had been there twice to different people. One fined for buying only wine, one fined for kicking off because they were a group of six not allowed in.

He's scared, tired and anxious. He's being shouted at every single day. About low stock, about the rules, about everything.

This lady phone manager and reported him for not saying please and for leaving husband outside without a coat. She has been barred.

The story highlighted how hard it is for workers just now and how calm he had stayed in the face of that, I'm not sure he will for much longer.

So yes I agree people are all over the place just now, but no need for her to do that.

Frankly being an adult is knowing how to conduct oneself. You can't go about shouting/abusing people and declaring it's because you are "under stress". The world doesn't work that way. You should call and complain. Of course I hope you don't dwell on it but it was an innocent mistake. FGS! People being unable to conduct themselves properly gets on my tits.

I’m not working at the moment (from choice not illness) but the store I usually work at has been classed as essential so remains open. A few of my colleagues have said that all the items that could be called /are essential eg food, basic medicines, petfood & some hardware could be brought to the front of the store & the rest cordoned off, as apparently customers are still coming in groups & wandering all over the place 😡