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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Calling police?

65 replies

Catloveisreal · 13/04/2020 09:44

I know the police are busy right now but I am very worried. My husband who has been living with OW since lockdown has texted saying he's coming back. There is no spare bed and my daughters are having panic attacks at the thought. My son can't bear the thought either. All older kids 16y plus. Husband is an emotional abuser and also appears to be very angry and possibly unstable. I want to stop him coming here and as I'm a care worker I really can't allow him in but he's extremely intimidating. Is it unreasonable to ask police to intervene?

OP posts:
SelfIsolationMeansMorePeppa · 13/04/2020 09:45

YANBU to call them if he does show up. Does he have a key? Can you change the locks?

CoughKeepsOnComing · 13/04/2020 09:46

Call the police and ask their advice.

pigsDOfly · 13/04/2020 09:47

Of course you should ask for police help.

Please don't hesitate.

Kastanien · 13/04/2020 09:47

No, ring them now. Don't wait for him to come. Tell them you are all scared and that he is unstable. The police may be busy but this is urgent.

TheTrollFairy · 13/04/2020 09:48

Does he have a key to get in? Any indication of why he’s coming home?
I’m not sure what the police can do, especially if he’s registered address is your home but I do think it’s worth calling them and seeing what their advice is in this situation.

slipperywhensparticus · 13/04/2020 09:49

Is it his house? They might not be able to help you

Fenellapitstop · 13/04/2020 09:50

Call them for advice, is he on the mortgage or tenancy?

Original poster
Catloveisreal · 13/04/2020 09:53

No mortgage. Its really due to the lockdown rules I was hoping would give us grounds to stop him

OP posts:
caradelvigna · 13/04/2020 09:54

Yes please call them. Nobody should be subjected to emotional abuse and the fact that you and your children are scared of him coming back is a huge red flag. Sounds awful OP.

Neverender · 13/04/2020 09:56

Call them and ask their advice or women's aid

BaroleCaskin · 13/04/2020 09:56

Why does he want to come back? Has he fallen out with the OW already?

TomHardysCBBC · 13/04/2020 09:57

Lockdown legislation won't be grounds to stop him. They're designed to stop large public gatherings and people roaming about in public without good reason. The Police don't have grounds to stop someone moving from one home to another.

Original poster
Catloveisreal · 13/04/2020 09:57

He has mood swings and been sending texts harassing the older two like one at 11pm to my son telling him the house was getting sold. He's always ruled by fear.

OP posts:
Pickupapenguinnnn · 13/04/2020 09:57

Lock and don't answer the door? And call the police of course!

jackstini · 13/04/2020 09:57

Yes call them

Can he get in? (Not sure what kind of locks you have/if he had keys)

Text back so you have proof you have said 'no - that is not possible; do not come here'

Thehop · 13/04/2020 09:58

Please ring the police for advice OP

Can you change the locks? Get them changed?

Fenellapitstop · 13/04/2020 09:59

Is he on the deeds, the best people to talk to would be the ones on duty as they will know what powers are available far better than anyone on here

emmetgirl · 13/04/2020 09:59

Definitely call the police. You can't let this man back into your home. Please take care xx

OhLook · 13/04/2020 10:00

Lock the doors and leave the keys in. Call the police straight way and explain the entire situation to them.

AlwaysCheddar · 13/04/2020 10:00

Call them now!

HollowTalk · 13/04/2020 10:03

Sounds like the other woman has had enough of him, too. Can he go to his mum's?

simplekindoflife · 13/04/2020 10:04

He's threatening the dc now?! Yes call the police!

caradelvigna · 13/04/2020 10:05

You could also look at an emergency court order (prohibited steps or occupation order I think) - if things get really messy

Molliemoo10 · 13/04/2020 10:06

Can't you lock all the doors/windows?

If not, get out locksmith as a matter of urgency.

Call the police either way and tell them what's going on. Flowers

Original poster
Catloveisreal · 13/04/2020 10:06

He's interested in maintaining possession of the house. Not sure what situ is with OW as no nothing about her other than they been together for many years. But she in small flat and we in rural area with ability to get outside.

OP posts: