AIBU To want to go to Scotland

[NeedSome1ToHelpMe]

I live in England with my H and DD. I’m having some serious marital issues and being stuck in the same house with my H is horrendous.
I’ve basically caught him out having an affair, with the same woman I caught him having affair with 3 years ago! So now I’m not actually sure the affair ever ended.

I need out. I need space. I need away from him. But my family are all hundreds of miles away in Scotland. I have nowhere else to go.

Can I go to my family in Scotland during lockdown? Will the police stop me? AIBU to want to go?

Tell him to go to the OW. The police will stop you. They're stopping people travelling from one part of the city to another in Scotland so you definitely wouldn't get from England to Scotland without being stopped.

I believe that you would be allowed to under your circumstances.

I too think you would be able to go. A woman on here was fleeing domestic violence during lockdown and she made it to a family member safely, although yours is not to that extremities, I would be inclinded to pack a bag, take all important documents- passport, marriage cert, driving licence etc, and make it clean you are fleeing from an undesirable situation during lockdown.
I would be inclined to call a service to get some official advice on what you can do, prehaps womens aid or the like?

I am sorry for the difficulties you are having however it would be very irresponsible to put your family in this position. If you really want to leave you should contact woman's aid.

You are allowed to go under these circumstances

I don’t blame you for wanting to, don’t know if it would be allowed though - if you do go I’d suggest isolating for 2 weeks just to make sure you don’t risk spreading the virus

I don’t think you should but I for sure would not fault you at all for leaving. It’s just that Scotland is a quite a distance from England ( for the most part ) so it may be too extreme of a distance.

I think it would be allowed in those circumstances?

As long as your family are happy to have you - go. Providing you've been on lockdown for nearly 3 weeks displaying no symptoms you are extremely unlikely to be carrying the virus. The police may stop you but would presumably understand if you are escaping an intolerable situation at home.

I would go.

You should not travel to scotland.

But how can the police know that OP is genuine?

Yes Anneofteenfable, I would like to know - do the police check if the person has approached their local force about an abuser?

Surely HE should be leaving. He’s got his girlfriend’s to go to, and then they can self isolate for three weeks. Obviously she’ll get sick of him very quickly but that‘a their problem, isn’t it? Especially once the chain is on the door.

Unless you are an actual victim of DV you cannot travel. Even then contact Women's Aid. Do NOT travel to Scotland.
Chuck your husband out

Oh god, I do sympathise but if you can't kick him out you should also be aware that your arrival elsewhere might not be welcomed. I don't know if you're thinking of city, town or village but there's a good chance it'll be noticed either way. People are getting quite militant about it and without making comment on how reasonable (or not) that is, it's maybe something else you and your family would need to factor in.

Can't believe people are saying to a woman on here whose relationship is breaking down that she can't get out. Who are we to know if this may or may not turn violent? I think only you can make this assessment. I think you also need to consider the vulnerability of your aged family members?

If it was a violent situation the comments and opinions would probably be different @casino. You can only offer feedback based on info you've been given.

Kick him out

It may not be physical abuse but domestic violence takes many forms and him having an affair is a form of abuse - albeit emotional.
If you can get him to leave that might be the better option but if not then if it was me I'd make plans to join my family in Scotland.

Kick him out. I think it would be irresponsible to travel so far unless you are actually in danger.

Yy exactly. Travelling to Scotland isn't risk free. In fact it's putting OP and her DCs and her family in Scotland at risk. From a risk pov, telling her DH to go to OW is the least risky option.
Lots of people have been trying to go to Scotland because it has less cases, less population density etc. It means as a PP said that both the police and communities are very aware of people trying to circumvent the restrictions.

I don’t want him to go to the OW. I don’t want him to see her. I don’t want him to speak to her. I don’t want him to contact her ever again.
This is my absolute worst nightmare.

Of course you're allowed to leave your husband on lockdown and go to live elsewhere. You can't go visiting or sofa surfing but if you're leaving your oh and moving back in with your parents that's fine.

You absolutely can go.