He won't except help he thinks he will get sectioned and if that happens it will be my fault and he will take my children away
He will not take your children away.
He can threaten til he is blue in the face but it's not going to happen.
You sound so beaten down and so weary of the pressure and the insanity. And it is insanity. You don't have to deal with any of this.
Please, please, please call 999 and then 55
When police come, tell them he is abusing you, that the abuse was witnessed by a nurse and doctor when you managed to get the baby out to have vaccinations, and that you don't feel safe with him at home. Tell them he listens in on your calls, you had to fight with him to get the baby to the doctor, that he has threatened you that he will take the children away from you. Emphasise that you do not feel safe and that you have the baby and toddler to protect.
Tell then you want him to be taken for a MH evaluation and kept out of the house. You can get an Occupation Order stipulating who can and who cannot live in the house. You and the babies stay. He finds somewhere else.
He sounds as if he should check himself in to a MH facility, or be sectioned. Obviously he doesn't accept that he is unwell.
He has lost touch with reality.
Can you leave the house with the children at all? Go into a garden? Make your call from there if you have a mobile phone. Or go to the bathroom with the children, lock the door, and call. Is there a lock on the bathroom door?
Is there any way you could quickly load the baby and 2 yo into a buggy, maybe when he's using the loo or showering, and simply run from the house? You will encounter a police officer pretty soon if you live in a built up area.
Can you email the doctor's office and ask for help? Describe exactly what you have described here. Remind them you are the woman they contacted to check up on and tell them he is listening to your phone conversations and you couldn't speak freely to them when they called.
Do you have a relative or friends you could email and ask for help?
@tiredandgrumpyx I am divorced from a man who had traits like your H's, including the crazy anxiety and threats to divorce me and take the children from me. I will never forget him waking me from sleep before 7 one morning after DC2 was born, shouting at me to get my lazy ass out of bed or we would starve. Why starve? He had been reading a novel about the Irish Famine. (He had had a fight with his boss while I was heavily pg and had walked out of the office in a huff so we had no income).
Before the relationship ended, years later, he stuck a steak knife into the pillow that would have been mine if I hadn't been sleeping in another room that night. Just recently he sent my youngest DD a 24 pack box of pot noodles and I heard he had sent texts to all his siblings telling them that DD and I are starving, that I have no job, no income, and not enough sense to get a job. One exSIL called my oldest DD with her chequebook at the ready. I am working, earning, have food, and better still, toilet paper.
This man gets an idea into his head and runs with it. After we divorced he took to calling me by my maiden name though I had not changed my name back. He used my maiden name on a document he filed in court and contradicted me in front of the judge when I pointed out that he had my name wrong. He used my maiden name on a child support cheque and was rebuked by the judge. Nothing can shake his convictions. He told everyone who would listen while we were married that I was a slob, that he had to wade through filth and dirty laundry at home, that I never cooked, that I let the children run wild. Our family photos tell a completely different story.
He spent just under a week in a psych ward and got a prescription for ADs, which he decided he didn't want to take. He blames me for his hospitalisation. 'YOU drove me to the mental hospital!' Yeah right...
But he did not take the children from me.
You can be seriously mentally ill and also a totally malign, abusive, angry, hate-filled, controlling force who will destroy your family's life. The two states are not mutually exclusive.
Please, please try to get your H taken away from the house and barred from re-entry. I did not realise the seriousness of the effect my exH was having on me until he had left. Quite honestly, you won't know yourself when you are free to live like a human being again.
Please stop believing his threats. He cannot take the children from you.