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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fed up of the "am I allowed?" threads

97 replies

counciltaxquery · 11/04/2020 23:32

No, you're not allowed to go for a drive because your PFB only naps in the car. Nor are you allowed to sit and eat on a bench because you're pregnant, or go to your DM's if you stand 2m from the door.

What is it that people aren't getting? It's like they think that they are the exception to the very simple rules, and it's doing my head in.

Obey the guidelines ideally, but if you don't then don't come on here and ask for validation that your situation is soooo different to everyone else's, when any idiot can see that you're in the wrong.

OP posts:
Grobagsforever · 12/04/2020 07:42

There has been a massive stupidity influx on MN since CV started.

People unable to understand the difference between mindlessly following the rules and using their common sense.

For example. Where I live I can easily walk for an hour without touching anything or coming with 10m of another person. So if I want to take 2 walks a day I will. Because I understand the actual science and know by doing so I am not increasing risk. If I lived somewhere crowded I wouldn't do it.

I'm also ordering non essentials online because I know we need an economy to go back to or more ppl will suffer.

On Friday we had cream tea delivered, because I wanted to do something nice for DC and support a local business and I know that virus dies in your stomach AND that the risk of getting it from the minute viral load that could be present is negligible. One day we're all going to have to go back outside and CV will still be there, we have to find a way to live with it, sensibly, until a vaccine is found.

longearedbat · 12/04/2020 07:45

@speakout ditto. I go out for two walks with my dog each day for the simple reason I live in a quiet rural place and if I do see people, which is rare, they are more often than not several acres away. As another poster has said, this is not a punishment. The whole idea is to keep away from people you don't live with, so if you live somewhere you don't often see people, why not? Ah, but no, the mumsnet stasi will come back at you in caps lock mode and tell you you are killing people and breaking the law. Of course, they haven't read the actual law either, which gives no actual limit on the amount of times (or time) you can go out for exercise. It is all down to common sense and individuals' varying circumstances (urban living v rural) which seems to be sadly lacking in some people.

choc71 · 12/04/2020 07:47

It's my son's 18th today and I didn't go out to get him a card as it's not essential; I've sent him an e-card and have written him a letter telling him how much I love him instead. I hope he thinks I've made an effort! They didn't have any 18th b'day cards in Lidl when I did the once weekly shop.

orangejuicer · 12/04/2020 07:49

ToManderleyAgain that's England only.

For anybody fretting it's ok to care for and assist a vulnerable person - anybody over 70 etc. You can go into their house if you need to.

tinytemper66 · 12/04/2020 08:16

I do go into my son's house as I need to clean him and the house. Plus I need to cook for him and also play some games with him etc.
He cannot live with us but has no support where he lives either. I also do all his shopping now. He used to come with me but as most places only allow one adult he cannot come with me and choose his own food.
As I am off work I am going daily. Before all this my mum and I used to go over in turns.
He is my only concern in all of this. If is wasnt for him I wouldn't go out for days on end.

PhilCornwall1 · 12/04/2020 08:29

I think a lot of people have confused lockdown with punishment.

Exactly this and to be honest the Police haven't helped with this, asking people to report others (this is only my opinion). The amount of threads on here then yelling Report, Report!!!! Shot through the roof. It's ridiculous to be honest.

ChicChicChicChiclana · 12/04/2020 08:59

My point is that we haven't been asked not to speak to people who aren't in our households whilst maintaining a distance of at least 2m apart. I don't believe for one nano second that that is dangerous unless they are actively coughing or sneezing or showering droplets around (ie runners).

But while people like the op are moaning that it's against the rulez and the police should be called, then people are bound to be confused and feel the need to ask.

EricaNernie · 12/04/2020 11:02

Someone was giving away a Rabbit Hutch on my local facebook, one person said they would try and get a trailer there, another person popped up and Asked if this was Essential travel,
fgs! - the shame of being such a rule stickler

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 12/04/2020 11:13

On Friday we had cream tea delivered, because I wanted to do something nice for DC and support a local business and I know that virus dies in your stomach AND that the risk of getting it from the minute viral load that could be present is negligible.

And the risk that the person who had to shop for the ingredients and the delivery driver undertook don't matter then? Only the risk that you might have been exposed to?

Same as with people ordering from Amazon and the like. Obviously the health of the warehouse workers don't matter because you are playing Lady Bountiful and performing this selfless act only to keep the economy ticking over

Stellamboscha · 12/04/2020 11:24

YANBU!

PhilCornwall1 · 12/04/2020 11:49

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

Are people using these businesses not keeping them going? It's keeping people employed and attempting to keep the soon to be very screwed economy going. There still has to be some form of life during this shit show.

We can join the ranks of Lord and Lady Bountiful here as well then, as we ordered Easter eggs online, oh and wine too. Considering it's what the businesses actually do, it's keeping people employed. Well if that makes us unreasonable, we'll live with it.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 12/04/2020 11:53

Do what you want but I think it's pretty selfish to address the level of risk only in so far as it affects you, as the poster above did. It was low risk because eating something kills the virus. So, what the poster meant was that the risk to her was low. Doesn't mean that the risk to everyone involved in getting the cream tea to her was low.

longearedbat · 12/04/2020 12:21

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras presumably the people collating and delivering the cream tea are rational adults who have done what they can to minimise risk and have judged that it is worth it to keep their business going. Most of us have to take an element of risk at these times. Mine is going shopping. Why do you feel it is necessary to lecture adults on their behaviour? I notice you pop up on a lot of these threads with a very hard line on what you think we should or should not be doing.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 12/04/2020 12:26

The business owner might well have assessed their level of risk. I just find it quite arrogant of people to assess the level of risk based only on themselves. To assert that X activity is low risk because the risk to you is low, and ignore the other people involved, is arrogant.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 12/04/2020 12:34

This whole affair has brought out the most unpleasant paternalistic instincts in certain people. I find it quite disturbing how many curtain-twitching busy-bodies are getting their jolies from it.

forkfun · 12/04/2020 12:39

The disapproved of sitting on benches really gets me. There are many, many people out there whose form of exercise is walking because things like running or cycling or kick boxing are not possible. My elderly mother who lives in a small flat is one of them. She can only go on walks in areas where there are benches so she can rest in between.
Some councils have taped off benches. This disproportionately affects those who are already struggle to move and serves no real purpose I can see.

Mustbetimeforachange · 12/04/2020 12:44

The rules are there because they have to have one set of rules. Everyone has to make their own risk assessment (both for them & other people). We live in the countryside where we could go for walks several times a day without meeting anyone (we don't cos we are lazy & also want to be seen to be complying. While against the rules it is zero risk, so shielded DH does the same (with his doctor's blessing). If we lived in a city/town centre it would be different. Everyone needs to wind their necks in and accept that different people have different risk assessments while trying to stop any transmission.
Now, as for the pillocks driving 200 miles to go fishing on Devon...

Cloudyapples · 12/04/2020 12:48

My motto is - if in doubt, don’t go out!

If you have to ask then it’s probably not essential. No need to start a min thread just use your common sense and stay home!

Doingtheboxerbeat · 12/04/2020 13:21

I for one am glad I have read this thread because I have never been brave enough to admit that I will visit my mum(with her shopping, that has been taken to my house and wiped with soapy water) and stand at a distance to chat maybe twice a week.
I know that technically I may be cutting corners, but we both live alone and I think that we both need that and I'm not putting her or myself at risk. And I won't look for validation on here because that is where insanity lies, but it is nice that some on here can trust me to not be a fucking idiot with a death wish.

Guavaf1sh · 12/04/2020 13:58

I am also saddened at the emergence of curtain twitching busybodies all too ready to report friends and neighbours. These people are far more disgusting than those who take two walks a day fully 2m apart from anyone else or who orders from Amazon. The UK is more ready for a police state than I think anyone realised

Grobagsforever · 12/04/2020 16:03

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

How unpleasant you are. I ordered from a sole trader working from her own home, making her own deliveries, using stock that was previously meant for her wedding cake business, which funnily enough, was tanking.

Her choice. And completely within the rules. We did contact free delivery.

I'm sorry that just because you can't think for yourself and judge risk you think others also shouldn't be allowed to.

Durgasarrow · 12/04/2020 16:10

yes

Joker123 · 12/04/2020 16:18

I went to visit my mom and dad on Friday and sat on their driveway. I don’t give a monkey bum who is offended by it.

If I ever get bothered by something that someone else is doing I just remind myself to mind my own bloody business and then I carry on having a great day.

Tootletum · 12/04/2020 17:34

Far more fed up with summary judgements from people like you OP.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 12/04/2020 19:41

Same as with people ordering from Amazon and the like. Obviously the health of the warehouse workers don't matter because you are playing Lady Bountiful and performing this selfless act only to keep the economy ticking over

FFS we need to keep the economy going, it's up to employers to put safety measures in place for warehouse workers.

Wind your fucking neck in

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