To think this was malicious?

[TrixieMixie]

I do a bit of broadcasting for my work. Yesterday I received an email from a viewer, who has occasionally contacted me in the past, when he has always been perfectly polite. I don’t know him, never met him, he just sends the odd email, always about programmes.
In his email he said that judging from ‘my appearance’ on a programme it had led him to wonder whether I had cancer and he advised me to go for a check up. He is not a doctor. There was no obvious animosity in the tone of the email but obviously this was very upsetting. I was utterly shocked to receive something like that totally out of the blue. I don’t look unhealthy, I have not had cancer in the past and I have had recent breast and cervix checks. But even if I did look ill, why on earth would someone send this? AIBU to think it must be sheer malice? I have blocked him. Just trying to make sense of it.

Nah. It's not malicious. Some people believe they can see ilnesses on people and feel it's their duty to tell them eo they can get help

Bit out there, but wasn't actually someone on tv saved by a viewer spotting malicious growth? I will google.

You're overreacting, he emailed worried about your health (a huge overstep, but hardly malicious as you say the tone didn’t contain “animosity”).

You either don’t respond or reply saying that you’re confident in your health. The end. Why the need for dramatics, blocking them posting about it?

How odd. I don't think it was necessarily malicious but it's very strange. I think you shouldn't waste any more time thinking about it.

Did he say what cancer?
Wondering if your eye caught a glare and he's been reading articles about white glare in photos, or something like that.
I wouldn't call it malicious, because I suspect he thinks he's right rather than trying to upset you.
If he just said cancer I suspect he thinks he's Mystic Meg and can "just tell".

Didn't that happen to Clare Balding?

Sorry you were upset by the comments

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45471479

I think he meant well-but his delivery perhaps not so great. If a family member told you this, would you be as offended? Perhaps the fact that it’s a stranger bothers you.

No, I don't think so. Some people are amazing at picking up small signs such as spits in your eyes or something.

If it was me I'd ask him what exactly makes him think that and I would get it checked out.

Spots, not spits obviously

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/tv-stars-cancer-spotted-eagle-6890776.amp

Sounds like he’s just trying to help. If the person in the article above had ignored the person who wrote in to them, they wouldn’t have discovered their cancer.

A lot of the presenters are doing their own make up now and some look different (paler for example), could it be that?

No dont ask him anything!
Dont engage. That would unsettle me OP

This happened to Mark Lawrenson. Someone saw him on tv and asked him to check out a mark on his face. It was skin cancer.
I think it was probably sent in good, possibly mistaken faith. Dont let it upset you OP.

My sister seen something in the eye of someone on Facebook in a photo , she didn't know him but new his wife a little bit , she contacted her and said your husband needs to see a doctor ASAP , the lady took it seriously and he went to a doctor

Turns out she was right he had a tumour behind his eye or something like that.

I would have to ask him why he thinks that. You can't exactly go to the Dr's at the moment unless you know roughly what cancer he thinks you have.

Salene

I heard of a similar one, but it was a child, and something to do with how the eye looked through a photo.
The mum was told to go to gp straight away. The child had a tumour and was fully treated and reported as just in time.

Don't ignore this OP, but at the same time don't panic. I know that's easy for me to say, but he doesn't sound like he was being malicious.

It's not malicious, just find out if he was right or not when you are able to see a doctor when this is over.

Really it is almost certain you are totally fine. If this will bother you in terms of your health, the next step is to ask him what made him think that, his reply will make it more clear if he is just being crazy or if it's misguided/helpful/malicious etc. It's likely he just wants attention otherwise he would have been more specific in the first email.

I'm a teacher and I spotted and diagnosed an overactive thyroid in a student. I knew her really well and could see the dramatic change, I'd not seen her for about a month.

I’m another one who thinks it wasn’t malicious.

that judging from ‘my appearance’
did he expand on that? say what aspect of your appearance?

Well there have been cases of this before, as other posters have detailed already.

However, if he was genuinely trying to be helpful, you'd have thought he'd be a bit more specific other than just "your appearance". And as he's not a doctor, I'd take it with a pinch of salt.

I don't think it's malicious; I suspect he might be unwell himself. In my experience the majority of people who regularly write to people on TV are either very young or a few cards short of a deck. I would probably make an appointment to get checked over in case, but my gut instinct would be that this chap isn't quite all there.

I have an inherited collagen disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome

Some people with EDS have a more serious condition called Marfan syndrome. I do not have Marfan but I have some Marfanoid features and related health issues.

If I see someone who I think has Marfan I always tell them. Sometimes they confirm that they have Marfan, sometimes they are uninterested, sometimes they are interested and agree to consult theur GP and sometimes they are upset with me.

These things are very delicate and sensitive, however I will always try to suggest that people get checked because it could save their life if they have undiagnosed Marfan.

I don't think the person contacting you was being malicious, probably just wanted to help

:)

I'll take this opportunity to educate readers about Marfan signs

video here

If he said "Because of your appearance, I think you have cancer", he is a massive arsehole, a dumb, insensitive, massive arsehole.

If he said something like "you seem to have lost a lot of weight/you have a spot in your eye/that spot on your skin, you should get it check as it can be a sign of cancer", then it's OK.

But if he had spotted something, he would have mentioned it. SO I think he just said "you look like you have cancer", then what the actual fuck is wrong with him...