Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was malicious?

70 replies

TrixieMixie · 11/04/2020 18:18

I do a bit of broadcasting for my work. Yesterday I received an email from a viewer, who has occasionally contacted me in the past, when he has always been perfectly polite. I don’t know him, never met him, he just sends the odd email, always about programmes.
In his email he said that judging from ‘my appearance’ on a programme it had led him to wonder whether I had cancer and he advised me to go for a check up. He is not a doctor. There was no obvious animosity in the tone of the email but obviously this was very upsetting. I was utterly shocked to receive something like that totally out of the blue. I don’t look unhealthy, I have not had cancer in the past and I have had recent breast and cervix checks. But even if I did look ill, why on earth would someone send this? AIBU to think it must be sheer malice? I have blocked him. Just trying to make sense of it.

OP posts:
Bingoballnumber1 · 11/04/2020 19:16

I don’t think it was malicious but definitely strange and very distressing. I would really be shaken to the core. Hope everything is ok and I do think you should go to the doctor or else you’ll be worrying!

Bollards21 · 11/04/2020 19:20

Agree ask him for more info....you never know

fascinated · 11/04/2020 19:29

Why are people saying don’t go to the Dr?that isn’t the advice at all. Corona isn’t the only health issue in the world! Drs are still working!

Sammymommy · 11/04/2020 19:33

For those who say "Go to the doctor", what would be the reason? "I need a blood test because someone said my appearance makes them think I have cancer?" . Do doctors offer blood test just because? Even with no signs?

MorganKitten · 11/04/2020 19:33

Can he see your eyes? Sometimes cameras can highlight issues, my friend found out about a tumour from a photo, the flash made a difference in his eyes. He went to the doctor and found out there was a problem.

Blackbear19 · 11/04/2020 19:39

I asked someone if they were ok because I thought they looked pale. They said they were fine. I let it go, 2.5 weeks later they were dead from leukaemia.

My niece spotted cancer in someone as she thought they had a waxy look to their skin.

Ask the person to expand on what they are thinking.

FlaskMaster · 11/04/2020 19:40

I don't think it sounds malicious at all. I think it sounds like either he genuinely thinks so and wants to help, or he is trying to use it as a way to connect with you and start some kind of interaction/friendship/relationship. Either way it could well be as a result of some mental health problem or social interaction problem rather than any kind of malicious intent.

MaeDanvers · 11/04/2020 19:49

Nope, I'd not assume it was malicious, especially in the context of him being polite in other messages. I'd have asked him what he meant rather than going for the block button personally.

Candodad · 11/04/2020 19:52

Billy Connolly talks about how a guy diagnosed his Parkinsons by watching him walk the stage on TV.

This guy prob thinks he’s going to be famous if the worse we’re to be true.

PardonWhat · 11/04/2020 19:54

It’s clearly not malicious.
I’ve read of a few cases of people saving life’s because they’ve identified cancer symptoms on people on TV.
Try not to panic but don’t dismiss it Flowers

cptartapp · 11/04/2020 20:02

I think a premiership football manager looks a bit jaundiced. Everytime I see him I notice it. Nurse too.
He's probably well checked out health wise though. But I do wonder.

Juanmorebeer · 11/04/2020 20:07

They may have seen something in your eye or a mole. I wouldn't assume malicious

andannabegins · 11/04/2020 20:12

I had someone stop me once when I was on a day out and he asked if I always got dry skin by my lip and there were other things he notes that I wasn't aware of. He told me to go to the doctors and get blood tests because he thought I had a vitamin deficiency if nothing else. I went and even said to the doctor you will think I am crazy coming in because a stranger told me to but they ran tests and took me seriously. I was fine but wasn't insulted that someone felt strongly enough that they wanted to help me

FreedomBird · 11/04/2020 20:27

Yes! The nun that was saved by a dr was my friends dad! Utter utter legend!

Chillicheese123 · 11/04/2020 20:29

I’d want to know exactly what it was that made him think it was cancer but it’s not exactly crazy, my mum used to constantly say a friend of my dads didn’t look right and looked jaundiced my dad would tell her it was just his skin tone etc he turned out to have a pancreatic issue that was pretty serious

HelloTerrance · 11/04/2020 20:39

Did he go into further detail OP? I would get checked out of possible, even if just to put your mind at rest.

MouthBreathingRage · 11/04/2020 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Page3 · 11/04/2020 20:50

I would definitely ask him to explain more
Depending on the answer then block.

MouthBreathingRage · 11/04/2020 20:51

Dont mind me, wrong thread Blush

GBroGal · 11/04/2020 20:52

@FreedomBird
Yes! The nun that was saved by a dr was my friends dad!
Can you just clarify? I always thought nuns were women and celibate Smile

FreedomBird · 11/04/2020 20:58

Ok poorly worded... I may be several gins down...

CaptSkippy · 11/04/2020 20:59

I'd say just block his email address. Commenting on someone's appearance (unless you are close friends or family members) is rude.

Johnnor1 · 11/04/2020 21:02

Yes! The nun that was saved by a dr was my friends dad!
Can you just clarify? I always thought nuns were women and celibate
LOL

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 11/04/2020 21:18

On American TV, Tarek El Moussa from Flip or Flop had Thyroid Cancer spotted by someone watching the show.

springydaff · 11/04/2020 21:42

I'm surprised you're getting upset about this. You're in the public eye, you're going to get allsorts of weirdos, people projecting this and that into you. It comes with the territory, surely? Don't you have colleagues you can discuss it with? They'll all have experienced this sort of thing.

I'd ask him what he meant. What have you got to lose?

Swipe left for the next trending thread