Am I allowed to help 80 year old mother look after bed bound father

[amatsip]

I know you will all roll your eyes at this, but dad was meant to have a care package out in place after release from hospital early march, but due to covid nothing was done, he is bed bound and mum can't toilet him or deal with his demands.

My sister who usually lives at home is a doctor and since vivid has resided close to the London hospital she works at.

District nurse comes weekly but can't get carers in till after covid.

I'm leaving groceries etc and paying their bills but mum needs a break and I know it's a risk going over morning and night to dress and tend to dad but I feel I'm trapped.

Mum is beyond exhausted.

I’m sure this would come under caring for the vulnerable.

It's a Heath need and I absolutely would.

You are allowed to leave the house to care for vulnerable people so I would as long as you’re social distancing responsibly otherwise

In your shoes, I would go in and help my mum.

Why can't carers not go in though?

Absolutely yes.
Otherwise he will be back in hospital and that’s the last thing anyone wants.

Practice good hygiene, maybe have a separate set of clothes just for their house.

Needs must. Follow good hygiene practices and get on with it.

Nothing would stop me from helping. They may be more vulnerable to CV but they're probably suffering more right now from the awful situation they're in. Poor them and poor you. Such a shitty time for you all. Get round there and help.

Thank you, I have my own family who I obviously don’t want to expose to anything.

Care package wasn’t put into place due to hospital getting him out quicker due to covid, district nurse and GP can’t do anything till after this calms down, even getting incontinence aids has been hard for them. So I have been ordering and paying for everything.

I’ll call mum and work a plan out with her for times she needs most help.

Yes I think you can.

I'm actually sharing caring for my mum with my sisters on a rota for same reason (left hospital and care package not in place yet) we are extra careful about washing hands, not wearing clothes worn to supermarket etc.

district nurse and GP can’t do anything

You're asking the wrong people. You need Adult Social Care.

To answer your question, yes you can go and care for vulnerable people.

I feel like you knew this was ok before you asked it?

Surely the answer is yes.

Many care agencies are really struggling with staffing at the moment.
You would absolutely being doing the right thing to provide the care yourself, and even if you could find a care agency, that care worker would be going from home to home seeing clients, thus exposing your parents to more risk.

Ring adult social care. We are still absolutely providing care packages. Your Dad will be at significant risk without the correct support.

Of course you can. Probably safer than carers coming in and out

Why can't you get care? As pp above said, get onto social services. State carer breakdown, your poor mum. And poor you, it must be very stressfull.

My mum lives alone and has carers x 3 a day. I do still go round once a week to do shopping and yesterday I visited to mow her grass as it was getting out of hand. I do live in the next road but visiting makes me nervous so I'm going as little as possible and keeping my distance. It breaks my heart as she doesn't understand

I have my own family who I obviously don’t want to expose to anything

Your mum and dad are your "own family". Roll your sleeves up and help your parents.

I'm sure there are care agencies who you could contact and arrange things with.
Surely.

No eye rolling from me. Happy Easter to your mum, to you and your family..

I'm sort of in the same situation, my df is not capable of looking after himself and its down to my dm to do everything so I've been going round once a week to help out around the house and to do a shop for them. I feel guilty about leaving the house and also have my own family to care for. However my dm can't leave him on his own so without my help they just wouldn't cope.

Definetly get in touch with Adult Social Care. Even if they could get a carer visit in the evening and you went in in the morning. Because otherwise you Mum is going to end up breaking down and your Dad needing fulltime care which will be far harder to get. It is difficult but Adult Social Care should be managing to provide support where needed.

Definately help your mum if you can as your parents are probably more at risk trying to manage on their own and this would definately come under caring for a vulnerable person.

Unfortunately many care agencies struggle for carers at the best of times and just now there are just not enough carers to go round particularly as many people who would normally be in hospital are at home and most care homes are shut for admissions.

It counts as caring for vulnerable people so absolutely allowed. There’s no point your mum struggling to do everything alone until she ends up at breaking point and needing care herself.

it is definitely allowed as caring this is precisely what this allowance is for, caring for the vulnerable who can't care for themselves

The thing maybe to be cautious about is the transmission to them of bugs if your family that you live with are going out to work. They might transmit to you and then from you to your Ma and Pa. But I don’t think that should stop you necessarily.