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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not tell my aunt that DD shares her name?

79 replies

Dabdabdabdab · 10/04/2020 11:20

Sorry, this is extremely convoluted. Also, NC as it's a bit identifying.

I've just realised my DD has the same first and middle name as my aunt. My aunt doesn't know this and I haven't told her, because DD is not named after her. She only knows my baby is named after her mother (my grandmother.) I don't know whether to tell my aunt as I don't know whether she would think it was a nice thing or slightly offensive.

Let's pretend my DDs name is Maria Georgina. Maria is after my grandmother (auntie's mum). Aunt is called Georgina, which also happens to be the feminine version of my DHs father's name, George. (In his culture, people name their children after their parents.) Aunt lives in another country and has never met DD. However, we keep in contact over email and meet up maybe every five years or so. Nobody in my family has a particularly good relationship with my aunt and her behaviour can be difficult sometimes, but I like being in touch with her as I don't have many relatives.

Aunt has just told me in her last email that her full name is actually Maria Georgina, i.e. that she shares a first name with her mother. (It's normal for people from my country to be called by their middle name instead of their first.) Aunty told me this because she knows my baby is called Maria and I guess she's happy that they share this in common. She doesn't know they share the exact same two names.

Aunt has no children or close family and I think our relationship (scant though it is) means a lot to her. I don't know if I should tell her "oh, incidentally, DD is called the same thing as you because of DH's dad". Or is it slightly offensive to have called her this even though this is my aunt's name and she isn't named after her? (I didn't really want to do this, for this reason, but it was important to DH to honour his dad.)

OP posts:
Dabdabdabdab · 10/04/2020 14:34

Whoever said my dad should know his sister's full name, it seems that he didn't even think of that! They're not close. And that's a euphemism for "they don't like each other".

OP posts:
NotStayingIn · 10/04/2020 14:39

Ah sorry, I thought that was over the phone. In that case, I would definitely reply with "oh, what a coincidence, I had no idea my daughter and you actually share both names, how lovely, bla bla bla." Just stick to the truth, you didn't know so just say that.

Bluesheep8 · 10/04/2020 14:42

Sorry but I cannot for the life of me see what the issue is here. You didn't know her full name so therefore CAN'T have named your child after her. Plus it came out in an e mail, not in conversation. It's a coincidence, plain and simple. Just e mail back saying that. Done!

NotStayingIn · 10/04/2020 14:43

I think it's then highly unlikely she will email back and ask whether the Georgina part is after her. Given you aren't close she would have to be quite odd to assume that. If she does email back to ask that sidestep it.

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