Furious at my DH

[NotTheVeryNice]

DCs and I self isolating, but DH is a key worker so goes to work every day. I expect him to self isolate while not working, but he does not. He goes to see family members 2-3 times a week 'just for a chat'. Family members are all in their 30s, no children. Yesterday he has informed me that family has invited us for BBQ on Sunday and DH expected us to go. I am fuming! Yesterday he went to see his friend, who is single and who's uncle died from corona, and see nothing wrong with it, as 'friend has been self isolating for weeks (friend is a worrier even in better times) and I wear PPE at work so it's fine'. I can not imagine how to get in to his head that we have to have as less contact as possible. He is a covidiot, and should I just leave him to it? If I had second home to go to, I would leave him- that's how annoyed I am. Sorry, just wanted to vent and I can's sleep.

OP, you and your husband clearly have fundamental differences. Unless he has a personality transplant, I can't see your relationship lasting.

He is extremely selfish and putting you, your DC, his family and friends at risk. If they are allowing him to visit, they might have a similar attitude to him and could also be visiting friends. You could be opening yourself up to infection from numerous people.

In your situation, I would not let him back in the home, full stop. He is putting your DC at risk but you are also contributing as you are allowing him to have contact with you and with them.

There is no point moaning about him. You need to take some responsibility too. You need to take action to protect yourself and your family. He can go and live with his family members and friends.

TomHardys and Mittens my DH Is a gas engineer and wears PPE at work: special protective overalls, respirator and single use gloves, as he goes visiting private homes, including, vulnerable people's.

It got me thinking that self isolation brought extreme introvert in me, as I do not see the point to see people socially anymore. I do enjoy a good chat over the phone, though, with people I really like!

I might just report that covidiots's BBQ on Sunday.

FagashJackie

Read what I wrote. Don't be numpties. I can see how you misread it actually. A lot of posts were don't let the DH come home. I would let him come home. When I said loved ones that doesn't extend to the others.
I have read what you wrote. You're the numpty. If you would allow your husband home after he has had contact with his family members and a friend plus all the people he is in contact with at work then you are stupid. It is totally irresponsible, dangerous and against the Government rules.

I don't understand this attitude.

Is it not law about households not mixing or is it just a request/advisory?

If he wants to meet likeminded twats then that's up to them.

What he surely then can't do is force that twattery on OP by going home after deliberately seeing others.

He needs to stay with one of them & I think that there should be a way of Op being able to enforce this.

If it was my DH, I'd like to think that I'd tell him to FO to one of his family and that I'd report him to the police. It might actually be a deal breaker as I would have lost all respect and trust in him.

If the BBQ went ahead with more than just the household bubble, I would definitely report.

I'm seeing my parent's once a week to deliver essentials. As the weather is good, next time, I might take a flask with me and sit outside and talk to them through the window so we can at least pretend some sort of normality. We won't be taking any risks but I think a chat in person, even at 2m apart, will be good for both our MH.

Why on Earth are you letting him back in the house?! I wouldn’t allow anyone to put my children at risk like that, not even their own father.

Please just show him this feed. What a total cf. No respect for other people. Please report this to the police and maybe give them the phone number of the house hosting so that the police can phone them before it happens. Also start divorce proceedings. He has no respect for your concerns.

So much fury on this site. Where do you find the energy for it?

I’m a key worker, a doctor who has done everything right when it came to covid. And have woken up unwell this morning with a fever and feeling horrific. This virus is incredibly infectious and I am now feeling absolutely horrific that I might have passed it to someone else despite doing everything I can and self isolating apart from when at work.

Countback, you are a hero and you have done nothing wrong. Look after yourself, and I very much hope you make a full and quick recovery. Thanks a million for the work you do.

I would tell him to go to the bbq alone but he won’t be coming back (lock him out), he’s being a total idiot and putting loads of people at risk.

I am desperate for this lockdown can be over so I can hug my mum, go back to work and comfort my elderly grandmother who is scared she will never see us again. People like your dh will make lockdown last even longer.

I've got a bloody gas engineer coming today and I've been terrified that I'm letting someone into my home who has no choice but to go into others houses.
I hope not all gas engineers are as lapsidaisical as your husband. How utterly selfish of that man.

So much fury on this site. Where do you find the energy for it?

There seems to be some kind of pandemic on and people are frightened for their families ...

@Jammydodger1981

Who paid for the research? University medical research is funded by Pharmaceutical companies so I always bear that in mind when reviewing any conclusions drawn from the studies.

Please report the bbq and think about asking your dh to live elsewhere.

@countbackfromten you’re amazing, honestly, so brave. I hope you make a very swift recovery. Thank you so much for all you do.

@Couchbettato

Sanitise his hands as he comes into the house.

Ask him NOT to touch anything in the house bar the boiler.

Have all windows open.

Wear a scarf while he's there and keep well back from him.

Have antibacterial spray ready for when he leaves for anything he may touch.

You hopefully will be ok

I would report him.

I imagine you have lost all respect for this man OP?

He is seeing it as ok because he is in one of the few jobs where they are visiting multiple households every day and feels socialising is no different.

personally, I would be throwing a tent out the door and telling him to live in that if he was going to be so cavalier about the health of his loved ones. If his family are equally cavalier, they can have him come stay with them.

@FagashJackie
I dont know how you had the nerve to say this

There is always one who thinks they're the special exemption and the rules are for others. That is what makes work and problems for people like @countbackfromten. (Thank you and we're sorry and holding our breath to hear back from you.)

When politicians do it, they fall from grace publicly. Maybe share one or two of those stories and ask him why he thinks he's any different? Stick to your guns: you are right; he is wrong. It really is that simple!

If you know that they have others attending the bbq defo report them,. Arse holes.

I don't know how you make didiot h unterstand and respect the current rules and guidelines though, good luck op

Some people really are as thick as fucking mince.

My DH - dickhead husband, would not be coming back into the house if he went to a BBQ

And fagashJackie you're calling other people 'numpties'

You're the biggest numpty on this thread!!!

He's a knobhead. Give him a simple choice
a) he goes to the BBQ and then finds somewhere else to stay afterwards until lockdown is over
b) he does not go to the BBQ and stays the fuck at home like he has been told to do by the government.

I don't know, I'd rather have my loved ones about me than isolate from them, I'd rather run the risk of getting ill than be seperated.

I don't think you'd feel the same if you were to find yourself gasping for breath aa a result of catching this virus? Because that was experience. Thankfully for me, I'm recovering now but thousands have not been so fortunate.

You know that there are people who have tested positive for the virus but never had symptoms? What the OP's DH is doing is beyond selfish, putting his DW and DC at risk.

Definitely report the planned bbq. You can do it online.
I’d be so annoyed with him over this I’d be considering whether or not to stay with him.