Furious at my DH

[NotTheVeryNice]

DCs and I self isolating, but DH is a key worker so goes to work every day. I expect him to self isolate while not working, but he does not. He goes to see family members 2-3 times a week 'just for a chat'. Family members are all in their 30s, no children. Yesterday he has informed me that family has invited us for BBQ on Sunday and DH expected us to go. I am fuming! Yesterday he went to see his friend, who is single and who's uncle died from corona, and see nothing wrong with it, as 'friend has been self isolating for weeks (friend is a worrier even in better times) and I wear PPE at work so it's fine'. I can not imagine how to get in to his head that we have to have as less contact as possible. He is a covidiot, and should I just leave him to it? If I had second home to go to, I would leave him- that's how annoyed I am. Sorry, just wanted to vent and I can's sleep.

And that attitude is why this has turned into a huge pandemic.

No. It's a huge pandemic worldwide because of the highly contagious nature of a virus we have no immunity to.

People practicing govt guidelines will (hopefully) slow things down. The Covidiots are not responsible for the pandemic. They may be a cog in delaying the slow down.

Even if everyone stays home and obeys all the rules this virus isn't going anywhere.

OP this must be hugely stressful and frustrating for you. No advice to add to that already given. But I would be very upset about the callous and ignorant attitude towards you and your family.

I'd lock him out, he could go and live with some of these friends & family. Twat. I'd also report the BBQ -apparently easy to do online (in Hampshire anyway)

There are plenty of examples of medical staff etc who have worn PPE who have sadly died anyway. He is a fool if he thinks it's infallible, but you clearly know that. Tell him to stay there if he goes, or report them to the police (and refuse to let him back in if you want). Up to you.

He wouldn't be coming back into my house

@countbackfromten I hope you have everything you need and feel better soon. Thankyou

OP I’d report the BBQ and tell your husband that if he goes then he can stay there with the rest of his idiotic family.

What a fucking twat.

I would seriously be reconsidering the relationship when this is all over.

As for the bbq I would also report to the police.

Can you send him all the articles about medical staff who have died to see if it scares him a bit?!

If possible, I'd also tell him to stay elsewhere.

@countbackfromten hope you feel better soon, take care

I'd rather run the risk of getting ill than be separated

And making them ill and spreading it to anyone else you may come in to contact with? It’s not just about you. Utterly selfish. This is why it spreads.

Lock the door and don't let him back in.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy - apparently ibuprofen & other NSAIDs are not recommended for treating CV19. Outcomes have apparently been worse with patients who've used them, also with steroids I believe. Apparently paracetamol is one of the very few "safe" OTC medications to take, which is why it's been so difficult to get, including Calpol. For some reason it's not really being discussed in the UK though. @countbackfromten I hope you only have it mildly, & get over it quickly.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/coronavirus-paracetamol-ibuprofen-symptoms-nhs-advice-latest-a9404881.html

@FagashJackie I hope to god you are taking the piss! No one is this selfish or stupid surely?!

Anyone who goes out socially should be made to wear a ‘Covidiot’ sign.

Report the BBQ and he is an idiot

I would imagine that he is NOT frontline healthcare if he is this cavalier about it all. Possibly a supermarket worker? I believe they're supposed to have some form of PPE as well (ours do in Australia, anyway, the customer-facing ones at least); or a different essential worker that doesn't have to deal with actual COVID 19 patients face to face.

Either way, for sure he's a covidiot and he shouldn't be doing what he's doing - but then all his friends are just as bad for letting him!!

As for the bbq at the weekend, yes, report it. Don't go and report it.

I don't know if people are being fined in the UK but here in Australia, fines are being issued for people flouting lockdown - usually around $1000, depending on which state.
We've now reached a point where they're stopping cars with 2 or more adults in them to see if they're from the same address, and fining them if not.
The Victorian police even fined a learner driver out with her mum ($1600) although that has since been rescinded.

So YANBU at all, he's being a contributary dick.

@countbackfromten
I hope your symptoms will be very mild.

Oops. If he likes it there that much, maybe pack his bags. He can stay!

There are plenty of people in shops/banks , refuse collectors etc wearing masks and gloves. It could be that PPE he is referring to.

Stupid is as stupid does.

Your husband is so selfish and pig headed. Does he lack the ability to think rationally and have empathy in other areas of life?

Because that is what this boils down to. People break the rules because they think they deserve to do the thing they are not supposed to do under lockdown. They can't imagine that what they do is harmful because they just do 'normal' things. They show total disregard for their community and loved ones. They are unable to see the bigger picture. Because of you husband's behaviour people will die.

In your shoes, I'd report the BBQ to the police.

@countbackfromten thank you for all that you’re doing. It must take a huge mental toll along with now feeling ill. I hope it passes quickly.

Your dh is an absolute idiot. Does he think the government have closed schools and that the economy has been destroyed all for fun? No. This is a virus which spreads so so easily. He might not get sick but he may make people sick or pass something back to you. What an incredibly selfish man. If he goes, report them.

And the rules don’t apply to him because...?

I would be beyond furious! He isn't allowed to do it.

@countbackfromten
I'm a key worker, a doctor who has done everything right when it came to covid. And have woken up unwell this morning with a fever and feeling horrific. This virus is incredibly infectious and I am now feeling absolutely horrific that I might have passed it to someone else despite doing everything I can and self isolating apart from when at work.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do. I hope you will have a full and speedy recovery.

If you have inadvertently passed on the virus, despite all your efforts to protect yourself and others, you mustn't beat yourself up about it. You have done your best not to do so and that is all that can be asked of anyone.

@MayTheGodsBeEverInYourFavour

Kings College actually released a study a couple of weeks ago refuting that advice and said that there was no evidence for or against taking ibuprofen or any other anti-inflammatory drugs with Covid-19:

www.kcl.ac.uk/news/study-helps-to-identify-medications-which-are-safe-to-use-in-treatment-of-covid-19

I’d ask for his keys and hand him a suitcase.

@FagashJackie

I don't know, I'd rather have my loved ones about me than isolate from them, I'd rather run the risk of getting ill than be seperated. Are you worried that he will take the virus to the BBQ?

I'd be more worried about my children than that selfish fool