Aibu - embarrassed by my 4 year old

[Ell452]

I’m kind of embarrassed by my 4 year old I feel she misbehaves. E.g. just now in garden she fell off her chair and was screaming loudly blaming me crying (AWWWW YOU MADE ME FALL! I’M BLEEDING! YOU MADE ME BLEED! YOU MADE ME BLEED!). I was pushing baby in swing so was no where near her. She does this often I try to reason with her by asking “how did mummy do that?”. It makes me feel bad as neighbours must be thinking badly of me like I’m abusing her or something or just badly of my parenting.

I really try to get her to behave like giving gold stars then rewards if she gets 10.

I’m really lost as I really want a good relationship with her but it’s so hard. It’s not just home in school trips with reception and nursery I’ve nearly been in tears with her outbursts. E.g. in nursery trip teacher gave carton of milk and without thinking I opened the straw plastic wrap and she screamed and had a tantrum saying “GET ME ANOTHER!). Teacher didn’t have spares and all the other parents were staring at me and I know they were thinking badly. Couple of mother’s were giving me and daughter dirty looks (didn’t imagine it they did).

What makes it worse is mother-in-law laughs at her behaviour and when I try to discipline her they shout me down saying “she’s only 4”. Like when I used to pick her up my daughter used to say “go away mummy I don’t want you here in grandma house, go back to your house”, mother in law clapped at that and laughed. When I try to say anything MIL response is “you’re too sensitive”.

My 3 Yr old screams 'Mummy! Help, help!' as though she's in danger if I don't immediately appear at her side the moment she wants something (can't reach something, wants something etc.). I feel like the neighbours must think I'm neglecting her, but she's a three year old and needs to learn I'm not at her beck and call and tell her to be patient! Doesn't help with the embarrassment though!

My toddler is coming up three and has taken to shouting ‘Help! Help!’ whenever we do something she doesn’t like such as take her home from the park (pre-CV) or put her to bed in the evening. She also likes to say ‘Dont hurt me’ at random times, she’s never had a smack or even a tap, we do timeouts if she’s been playing up. I don’t know where it comes from and it’s mortifying if she says it in front of people! Fortunately most people realise what little ones are like and it gets laughed off, I do worry about someone taking it seriously sometimes though!

@Hoggleludo Oh, god, mine used to do that. I'd just pick her up and carry her under my arm, legs and arms all hanging down like a rag doll. Half seriously thought about sewing a pair of handles to the back of her coat...

My nearly 4 DS days the same. MUMMY YOU ARE HURTING ME! WHen I'm no where near him. I've also had MUMMY YOOU NEED TO SAY SORRY FOR MAKING ME CROSS / SAD - when I tell him off for misbehaving.
The most mortifying though was said when picking him up from nursery.... MUMMY WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HIT ME? Followed the next day at pick up MUMMY WHY DO YOU ALWAYS KICK ME HARD? I have no idea where this come from and almost died on the spot.