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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was wrong to say this to my neighbour - feel sad that they are now talking to me.

124 replies

Somethingsosimple · 09/04/2020 11:41

A couple of weeks ago the sun shone for the first time in weeks and I was planning to dry washing and be outside with my son as he had a inset day. Then we looked out of the open window to the sky full of smoke and bits of ash falling and covering all our cars and drive way. I decided to ask my neighbour politely how long she was planning to have a bonfire. It was 10 in the morning. She said all day which I said I was disappointed about as was pleased to be able to be in the garden. Her husband came out and said oh sorry maybe we could finish at lunchtime to which his wife looked furious. I politely turned and said I would leave them up discuss. The husband knocked on my door a short time later a said they would finish at lunch time a dvi thanked him. I have since seen the wife since who said I had massively inconvenienced them and has since ignored me. I’m feeling really sad as we have been friendly before this and I hate falling out. Should I have kept my mouth shut?

OP posts:
SallyWD · 09/04/2020 14:04

I really don't understand why people need to have bonfires. I've never had a bonfire in my life and I do a lot of gardening! If you really did need to have one why should it last all day?!

Ozzfest · 09/04/2020 14:11

I read this tip for unwanted paperwork, it’s a bit like previous poster says;

Bucket half full of v hot water, bit of Flash, bleach or such like, rubber gloves on and put the first clump of ripped up papers in to soak... stir them up to help mush up paper. Squeeze out excess water, then into plastic bag. Continue til all papers are gone! Job done!

coconuttelegraph · 09/04/2020 14:18

I really don't understand why people need to have bonfires

Loads of people have bonfires near me, even a couple since the lockdown. I think it's mainly garden waste that is too much for the garden bin, not everyone gets their garden waste collected for free you know.

Soontobe60 · 09/04/2020 15:05

www.gov.uk/garden-bonfires-rules

Garden bonfires are not allowed anywhere to burn rubbish. Does everyone not already know this?

Those of you who are saying you have to burn paperwork, that's just not true. Back in the day before all (or nearly all) of my confidential mail was paper based, I just used to tear off the identifying bits such as name and address plus account numbers, keep in a carrier bag then put the carrier bag in the general rubbish on bin day maybe once every couple of months. The rest of the document went straight into the paper recycling bin.
The only confidential post I get now is my council tax, water rates and the odd medical letter. So maybe a bag full once a year.

Hidingtonothing · 09/04/2020 15:12

The fire service are putting notices out asking people not to have fires because of the risk of them getting out of control and putting extra pressure on the service. It's also massively selfish and inconsiderate to make everyone else's garden unusable when we're all cooped up enough as it is. Best advice I can give you is don't give it another thought, she won't be, any more than she was thinking of you when they lit the fire.

Chillicheese123 · 09/04/2020 15:23

I understand why people have bonfires, but if you don’t have the space and it’s not appropriate to do it, just don’t. Bag it up and wait for the tips to open or when you can hire a skip again.

Chillicheese123 · 09/04/2020 15:24

For those who need to burn paperwork what about like a small chimenea - they don’t produce that much smoke and you can burn stuff for like 20 mins and then finish

EmeraldShamrock · 09/04/2020 15:28

Why do people light home bonfires. I've never heard of having a random bonfire unless it is Halloween.

EmeraldShamrock · 09/04/2020 15:29

I just checked it is illegal in Ireland to burn rubbish in your garden, thank fook.

pictish · 09/04/2020 15:43

God I love a bonfire.

MaidenMotherCrone · 09/04/2020 15:52

Me too @pictish

TheMagiciansMewTwo · 09/04/2020 16:41

@Soontobe60 not everyone on MN is in England. Some aren't even in the UK.

kerrymucklowe2020 · 09/04/2020 17:28

I think people are having bonfires as the council tips are closed. There's also a big rise in fly tipping according to the local news.

Everytime I go to bed ( around 11pm), I can smell bonfires, as I sleep with the window open

mommybear1 · 09/04/2020 19:51

OP you did the right thing have a look at your council website and see if you are in a clean air zone. I complained to my council recently as we had several neighbours having them and always on a lovely sunny day and with the covid situation we have an old people's retirement complex by us and no one could go out. To my utter amazement the council have today told me they are contacting all those who had bonfires and telling them it's a nuisance and to stop they also advised me that the situation due to covid means this is being taken very seriously. I'm amazed as I thought it would be ignored.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 10/04/2020 10:48

If you are going to do this check with your local council, mine doesn't allow shredded paper in the recycling, I think it jams their machines or something

Well this is useful to know, and I am a bit annoyed my council has never told me this. Shredded paper isn't mentioned on any leaflets I have ever had through my door about recycling, nor on the initial page about what can and cannot be recycled on their website. I just had to go into the A to Z of recycling to check (and found it cannot be recycled), which I would not have done ordinarily as I assumed that "paper" on the list of what can be recycled meant paper of any size/format. I have been merrily putting it in my recycling for years.

GrapefruitsAreNotTheOnlyFruit · 10/04/2020 10:54

Well we are in the middle of a pandemic of respiratory disease. Bonfires release huge quantities of PM2.5 which is well known for compromising lung health. People on your street could be struggling for breath right now.

A bonfire is just an awful thing to do.

GrapefruitsAreNotTheOnlyFruit · 10/04/2020 10:58

www.nelincs.gov.uk/covid-19-please-dont-light-bonfires/

A decent summary. Please don't concern yourself about having offended your neighbour.

jojobar · 10/04/2020 11:01

I would normally have done 2-3 trips to the tip with garden waste by now. I can't as tips are closed and likely to remain so for the next 8-10 weeks. So where am I meant to store several carloads of garden waste til then? If I don't burn it I can't carry on working in my garden because I literally can't see the wood for the trees. And bagging it up - our council don't let us tip bagged garden waste it has to be kept loose.

The only thing I could do is move my car onto the road (not ideal) and pile up all the branches, leaves, cuttings etc on my driveway until the tips reopen (ditto).

strawberry2017 · 10/04/2020 11:01

In the past I very occasionally used a small incinerator in the garden to burn paperwork but I always picked the dull drizzly days to light it because it had a lid so it still burnt it but also because it never seemed to upset anyone because people were inside and windows were shut. Tried to make sure it wasn't a windy day too!
There are always ways where you can try to be considerate of others.

ineedaholidaynow · 10/04/2020 11:02

I think bonfires are selfish in residential areas where houses are close to each other, so there is escaping the smoke. Obviously should not be happening at all at the moment

In areas where people have large gardens and no close neighbours then not usually a problem

Enough4me · 10/04/2020 11:05

Great she isn't talking to you, she sounds like a really selfish person and you can come and go without having to stop to talk with her.

Harakeke · 10/04/2020 11:08

@jojobar

Everything you wrote is about your convenience. But there are others in your vicinity who will be inconvenienced by your actions - possibly even health affected. Surely you could come up with a solution that doesn’t involve a bonfire.

CovidCanFKcuOFF · 10/04/2020 11:14

I'd be disgusted if my neighbours started a bonfire right now.
We've also got a councils urging us not too. And replies on social media media '' oh but I have branches cut making my garden look messy and the tip is shut what else can I do except burn them? '' Angry

I'm on a hill, I see back gardens. Someone literally streets away lighting a bonfire will be smelled in my house.
People on my road will have us indoors all day, windows shut.

Op I'm appalled your neighbours were planning on doing this for the entire day. Stupid and incredibly selfish.
My dd has asthma, I'd be wild with fury if someone burned right now.
I've always had lots of garden waste and never burned

CovidCanFKcuOFF · 10/04/2020 11:17

Oh!! I See we have 1⃣ on this thread!

jojobar · 10/04/2020 11:17

harakeke the only alternative solutions I can see are leave everything in my back garden, making it unusable which could be a real problem if the current restrictions on movement are extended
Or pile it in my front garden, leaving my car on the road and possibly invalidating my insurance.

I'm not sure what other alternatives there are? I am not aware of anyone in the vicinity with breathing issues, most of them are out in their gardens cutting back, or still working. I would only burn dried garden waste which doesn't tend to smoke worse than many barbeques.

Fwiw I wouldn't have a compost heap as we have had rats in our gardens before (one of which got into the house) and we were advised against it.

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