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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour knocking on our door for a cigarette - WIBU

58 replies

Roostersmum2 · 07/04/2020 15:25

Neighbour has developed a habit of knocking the door for a cigarette regularly for the past year.

(Please no lectures about smoking and covid, I've cut down by half and am working towards quitting)

You can see who's at the door from the sofa, he only ever knocks for this reason.

I told DH not to open the door as he shouldn't be knocking due to guidelines. DH said he will know we're home and so we now look rude.

I know I'm not being unreasonable btw, I would like to see what others thought because DH clearly disagrees

OP posts:
Oldraver · 07/04/2020 15:28

Why on earth is your DH more bothered about looking rude...to what is effectively a rude neighbour ?

Why is thts more important to him ?

UnfinishedSymphon · 07/04/2020 15:28

You've let this go on for a year?

Imtootired · 07/04/2020 15:28

Yes just ignore and hopefully he’ll get the message. It’s not that rude, you didn’t ask him to come over and for all he knows you could have been in the bath or garden.

itsbetterthanabox · 07/04/2020 15:29

Call through the door and say sorry because of the lockdown we can't answer.

SoleBizzz · 07/04/2020 15:30

Can't he buy his own fags?

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/04/2020 15:30

You're literally going to die of embarrassment.

Teacher12345 · 07/04/2020 15:30

Just put a sign to the window saying "sorry I cant answer as we are isolating" next time he comes to knock.

Appuskidu · 07/04/2020 15:33

Why isn’t he buying his own?!

Rosebel · 07/04/2020 15:37

Besides anything cigarettes are bloody expensive so I wouldn't be giving them away. No your not unreasonable. Either refuse to answer the door or just say you haven't got any.
He sounds like a CF.

Original poster
Roostersmum2 · 07/04/2020 15:39

No idea why he doesn't just buy tobacco himself. I ignore the door to him the majority of the time when it's just me home but DH is keen not to offend so when he's home, he opens the door and gives him a cigarette.

You're literally going to die of embarrassment

Sorry I don't understand?

OP posts:
Elouera · 07/04/2020 15:40

Ever thought to add up how many packets in total YOU've have paid for with him coming around getting 1 at a time??? I cant believe this has been left to carry on for a year? Does he do anything in return? Give you things, help in the garden? Anything?

So he is happy to be handed a cig from your hand, smoke and suck on it, despite there being no way to clean it down? OR, do you let him finger your packet and fish one out?

Agree with others, either sign on the door, or speak behind the door that you wont be opening it. End of! If he was asking for £2 every time, or any other item, would you OH be happy with that?

safariboot · 07/04/2020 15:41

Once is understandable. But "regularly", tell him to buy his own bloody cigarettes!

AmelieTaylor · 07/04/2020 15:42

Your husband is a wet rag.

Tell him to wise up!

Original poster
Roostersmum2 · 07/04/2020 15:44

He has been a helpful neighbour on occasion but I certainly don't feel indebted to him of want to fund his smoking.

It's very rare I bother to open the door, it's a DH problem

OP posts:
mencken · 07/04/2020 15:46

'rude' has a whole new meaning as it is now ok to cross the road when you see someone coming, and turn your back if they are too close.

just grow a pair and say no. Or just give him a pound or whatever the things cost now and tell him to buy his own.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 07/04/2020 15:47

It's very rare I bother to open the door, it's a DH problem

It’s going to your problem if your silly bloody husband ends up catching COVID19 from your neighbour and passing it on to you.

TheReluctantCountess · 07/04/2020 15:49

Tell dh to move in with the neighbour. Problem solved.

CanofCant · 07/04/2020 15:50

No idea why he doesn't just buy tobacco himself.

Because it costs less to cadge from you?

LockedInMadness · 07/04/2020 15:50

Shout through the letterbox "We've given up smoking because of corona you lazy scrounging bastard"

Lynda07 · 07/04/2020 16:02

You're not unreasonable at all but I cannot begin to imagine a situation like it. What sort of area are you in?

findumdum1 · 07/04/2020 16:02

Shout through the letterbox "We've given up smoking because of corona you lazy scrounging bastard"

Please do this, it's brilliant.

You really shouldn't be answering the door to anyone at the moment you know unless it's a delivery driver, in which case they keep well back, or the police.

Original poster
Roostersmum2 · 07/04/2020 16:08

We live in SE London, plenty of CF'ers about though the rest of the neighbours keep themselves to themselves.

He's not hard up for money, just lazy.

Our local newsagents has closed for the duration of lockdown and he can't be arsed to walk the 15 minutes up the road to the supermarket.

I'll be showing DH these replies, thank you

OP posts:
Howyiz · 07/04/2020 16:09

Tell him you are no longer giving away cigarettes, he will need to buy his own.

UnfinishedSymphon · 07/04/2020 16:10

Tell tell him no FFS, he can buy his own fags out of his own money and go and get them himself - cheeky fucker. But you're both enabling it

Bluebooby · 07/04/2020 16:11

They cost way too much to be giving away for free that often, covid or no covid! But no, your dh needs to say no. He could always tell the neighbour you've received a phone call from the police because someone has reported you for having visitors. Wouldn't be surprised if someone did tbh!

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