AIBU to feel like I will now never have a career?

[hayleycappo]

Having worked doing admin for a business, I’ve now lost my job (due to Covid) and it’s highly unlikely to continue again. I gave up my career in investment banking many years ago, to raise my kids (primary age). I’ve gone for 5 interviews over past 5 months and always don’t succeed (usually get to last 2 candidates but that doesn’t get me the job!) I’m going for the well paid, part-time jobs, that are like gold dust and it’s so frustrating. I’m 43, I want to feel valued and like what I do. I want to retrain but I have no idea what. I want something well paid, but I have no loves, or passions, nothing that seems a natural move. I like processes and people, that’s about it. I’ve lost so much confidence now and I know it will be even harder to find work.
Have other people successfully retrained at this age and what have you done? I feel so lost :-(

I'm so sorry you feel like this. This situation is dreadful if you are at the "trying to build me back" phase in your life. You will when this is over but it sucks right now.

I am in the middle of an open university psychology degree and I'm almost 42, so it can be done. I have a background in reception and admin work. Should graduate in a couple of years and then hopefully get myself a rewarding job where I can help others.

Career in healthcare?

I career changed at your age, though now at 46 I'm really struggling to complete further training for promotion and career prospects. I'm trying to study in my second language though and realising too late that I've reached the limits of my neuroplasticity...

I think this can be a difficult time for women ,as you say you have been out of the workforce for a while .Even though you had a good job previously . Have you thought about retraining as a Teacher maybe ,or could you run your own business do you think (maybe Book keeping or Accountancy due to your previous experience in Banking). The kind of jobs you are currently going for will have a high number of Applicants and often recent experience seems to count for a lot .I think the economy will bounce back but it may take a while .

@hayleycappo a lot of investment banks are now doing return to work schemes . Have you looked into those?

I’m similar, not such a huge salary, but around 45k which for welsh valleys is ok. But can’t get anything, and already having a degree, it’s not easy to go back and train for anything! I’m stuck being deemed to educated and over qualified for jobs so I wouldn’t stay (I wouldn’t apply if I didn’t want them!), out of work too long (although I have kept up my CPD), or not qualified enough (and can’t afford to pay for extra training/qualifications). It’s bloody horrible. Not yet 40 and I feel like I’m on the deject pile!

Lower expectations slightly - walking into well paid part time work after a 5 year break is a bit unrealistic.

Teacher? Only a one year PGCE and you’re done (assuming you have degree).There’s a shortage of teachers apparently so at least you’re likely to get a job.
If no degree I’d go for retraining in something vocational as opposed to say, a degree in English. Nothing wrong in English degree but it doesn’t qualify you specifically for something.
I wish I’d thought about that when I did my undergrad degree.

How about accountancy? You can do ACCA online I think and it's certainly systems and processes. Managing money is more important than ever!

To build your confidence I agree you need to get back into the workplace so maybe you need to look at going full time ? It is so much easier to go part time once you have your foot in the door so why don't you see it as a stepping stone, nothing is forever so if you can do it for 12 months then reassess.
Alternatively you could look for jobs with companies you like rather than roles you like. Again once you are in you can work your way up?

I'm a teacher and retrained into it aged 39. I wouldn't recommend it right now though.

teacher or civil service? I'm in the public sector now,average age tends to be older, i'm the youngest in my dept by about 15 yrs (mid 30s), lots of senior staff in their 60s. I have career progression too which I'm delighted with as my role is part of succession planning. Initial pay was crap but gone up a bit in 3 yrs, although it won't ever be amazing (80k top limit & few jobs there) but I enjoy it.

I had a 5 year career break and struggled to get back into work. I think you will really struggle to get well paid part time work without a lucky break. Could you see a careers advisor to determine what areas you might want to go into then either apply for full-time roles, get in post, prove your worth and then apply for part-time, or work your way up?

I've gone for part-time hours and a job I really like over pay. It pays okay, and there is progression to a management role above me, but I'm happy where I am for now. I'm early 40s. The hours are brilliant though (term time pretty much) so the lack of childcare costs makes my salary go further.

I changed careers at over 50. I had to leave nursing after osteoarthritis crippled me. I went through an agency to find a basic clerical post and because I had a current CRB, I was placed the following day as admin/finance officer in a residential children's unit.

It was challenging and not well paid but I became permanent and 3 years later moved into a higher level post with children's services. I loved that job and worked for nearly 4 years after my possible retirement date.

Theresnobslikeshowb having a degree doesn't make it harder to retrain - it means that you can retrain faster by doing a 1 year masters or postgraduate course, or an accelerated vocational degree course which allows graduates to skip the first year. It can be a funding issue but in shortage occupations that can be worked around.

5 interviews over 5 months really isn't that many, you just need to persevere. I get that it is frustrating and disappointing to not get the job offers so far but if you are getting to the last shortlist you are doing something right. I have been there and tbh it took multiple interviews to find the right job.

There are very few jobs advertised as part time and fewer of these are well paid...but some other jobs may be open to negotiating a flexible arrangement. After the experience of the current situation many more employers may be open to these such as variable hours or working from home.

You don't need to have a passion initially, just an interest and curiosity about some line of work. As you have worked in admin you may have had a good overview of the businesses you were in; was there any specific aspect of these or the work undertaken, that interested you?

You say you like 'processes and people'; as well as teaching as already suggested, have you thought about HR? You can have a look at the CIPD website if you want to find out more.

Please stop recommending teaching as a career for those struggling to get back in the work place. If you want to be a teacher that’s fine but it shouldn’t be a back up job.
Just keep going with applying for jobs you want to do and ask for feedback on interviews where you don’t get the job. Look for places of work such as universities and local councils where people are scored on their experiences and skills rather than smaller companies who may write you off if you haven’t worked for a while.
Finally this situation is weird but won’t last forever, your job searching is just paused not stopped.

I think unrealistic to expect a high salary after time out of the workplace. There's a reason people sacrifice SO much to keep their careers.

No to retraining as a teacher fgs. People retraining as teachers who have no real love for education, protection of children and building relationships is one reason why there is a such a high turnover of newly qualified teachers. Op I am not saying you don't have the above but you didn't stipulate it in your OP. You may well and if so then research a bit before deciding to retrain as a teacher.

I have no idea why people are so quick to suggest it.

I managed to get myself a job in tax accountancy with a second tier firm after 6 years out of work. Amazingly it was my first interview in 5 years! I was supposed to start next month which obviously won't happen. I'm just hoping they don't withdraw the offer completely now.
Good luck.

People have suggested teaching because it is a way to build on existing qualifications; however this is only an option if it is something you are seriously interested in, I appreciate that you should only pursue this if you are sufficiently motivated.

You say you want interested and well paid work but don't know what interests you, you need to research potential professions to see what you are drawn to. The interest comes through learning about the profession. I retrained in my 40s so it can be done, but your first role may not be well paid as you are going in at entry level. The rewards may take time to materialise.

Norma27: congratulations on getting the job, I hope it works out for you.

It's a knee jerk reaction to say lower your expectations I think. Initially it seems like arrogance and effrontery to feel entitled to a highly paid part time job after 5 years out.

However this feeling that women should accept poorly paid work if they've had the cheek to take a few years out of paid work to do childcare is the reason we have a biological sex pay gap (now gender means whether Pipps Vince wears a suit or a pink cocktail dress to work it isn't really a gender pay gap).

Men expect higher pay, so they ask for it/ apply for jobs they aren't quite well qualified or experienced enough for and get them. Women are told to aim lower until they can prove beyond any doubt that they deserve a well paid job more than anyone else.

So perhaps we shouldn't be telling the OP to reduce her expectations...

Try some of the online psychometric tests to see what they recommend, it could broaden your horizons as to what jobs are out there.
As you say you are competing with many other people for well paid part time work. Do you need well paid work? Could you get more enjoyment from starting at the bottom in a new industry? Funds allowing of course

*Bunce not Vince