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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Made a mistake and now not sure what to do

116 replies

CandleFlames · 04/04/2020 21:12

I’m 37+4 weeks pregnant and for the past few days have had reduced movements. I’ve barely really felt him and his movements are different, nowhere near as strong. I’ve been into the labour ward twice, once being tonight. They monitored me and said baby sounded great but asked if I was still concerned and I said yes because even though I got a couple of kicks they still weren’t anything like normal. So they asked if I wanted to be admitted into the ward so they could monitor me overnight but I said no. I’m currently being treated for carrying MRSA and I also have gestational diabetes and pregnancy induced hypertension so I am high risk and tonight have swollen feet and hands which I’ve had for a while and protein and an infection in my urine. They said to come back if I’m still concerned or if I get any other preeclampsia symptoms such as a headache, which has now come on. But I feel stupid because I said no earlier so I don’t want to go back and waste their time. I only said no to being admitted because I’m worried about CV and of course hospital is the last place you want to be during this pandemic. What should I do? I feel like an idiot and I feel like they’ll think I’m wasting their time as I probably have done already by saying no to staying in.

OP posts:
brightyellowcardigan · 05/04/2020 04:47

Please please go back and stay until baby is born or you're completely satisfied. Don't even think about staying home, if you've not already left go now.

My friend had a similar situation and it ended in stillbirth. I don't want to scare you but want to make sure you go.

mathanxiety · 05/04/2020 06:27

If you're not back yet, PLEASE go back.

BlackRibboner · 05/04/2020 06:53

babies do quieten down towards the end of pregnancy

They don't - this is one of the myths that stops women going in and can lead to bad outcomes. Your baby's movements should follow a similar pattern up to and during labour. See www.kickscount.org.uk/how-often-baby-move

OP, I hope you went in and all was fine. If not and you're still worried about movement/headache/anything, please go in now. Take care x

MsTSwift · 05/04/2020 07:00

I met a very assertive Australian at my friends nct party years ago with her newborn. She felt he was quiet in late pregnancy went in was fobbed off went in again demanded a scan. Cord was round his neck immediate emergency c section. He was fine but wouldn’t have been without the mother’s actions.

Pineappletree33 · 05/04/2020 07:03

Babies do not move less at the end of pregnancy.
Hope everything is ok.

WorriedMummyNow · 05/04/2020 07:06

@Lynda07

'babies do quieten down towards the end of pregnancy'

Get your facts straight! This makes me so cross. It's absolutely not true at all and it's people spreading this rubbish that leads to people losing their babies! My friend's baby was stillborn because she believed an idiot who told her this instead of doing the right thing and going to get checked out in hospital.

www.kickscount.org.uk/how-often-baby-move

Hope you're ok Op. We're all thinking of you. Please go straight back if you're not at the hospital already.

Seabreeze18 · 05/04/2020 07:11

Really hope you are in hospital op and I expect you may even have had your baby by now?
You will never waste time seeing a midwife if you are worried! This advice saves lives!!! You and your baby!!! Good luck

dontdisturbmenow · 05/04/2020 07:11

Cord was round his neck immediate emergency c section
This alone wouldn't have been the reason. My DD had the cord around her neck twice and my DS three times. I myself had the cord around my neck twice. All natural births.

It is very common and doesn't cause problems in most cases. It might be that in that case, it was affecting the heartbeat, but it could have been a complete different reason for it.

mathanxiety · 05/04/2020 07:16

@Lynda07 what utter shite you post.

simplekindoflife · 05/04/2020 07:20

Hope you're ok OP Thanks

MsTSwift · 05/04/2020 07:21

Dont this lady said the cord was so tight they had to do an immediate c section as the blood flow to her sons brain was affected.

HelloBambinos · 05/04/2020 07:26

Same as others have said. Babies do NOT quieten down towards the end and should still be moving in labour even. Good movement signals good oxygen flow if movements are less and not as strong as previous this could signal a compromised oxygen flow whether that be a placental issue or cord compression. Either way your baby is trying to tell you they aren't happy.. Obviously episodes of cycling is normal but with good variability and patterned they need to monitor this. Please go in. THE whole 'babies quieten down at the end' makes me so cross the amount of patients we've had saying that who then either ended with cat 1A sections or IUDs is so sad all because someone told them it's normal.. It isn't please go in I would rather a women is checked 100 times than miss thar 1 crucial time. Hope you and baby are doing well.

amazedmummy · 05/04/2020 07:38

You're not wasting anyone's time. Preeclampsia is serious. Go back this morning and get it checked out. I had reduced movements with DS and was in pretty much every day for the last week of my pregnancy until the scheduled my C-section for 39 weeks exactly. Movements may change towards the end if pregnancy as they're moving in a different way than before but they should be just as strong and just as frequent.

FenellaVelour · 05/04/2020 07:56

I hope you went in OP and I hope you’re both ok x

Confuddledandmuddled · 05/04/2020 10:13

Please go in, I had an emergency section with my daughter at 33 weeks as I went in due to reduced movements. I’d been in the Sunday and was told all was well however by the Wednesday there was barely any movement at all, turns out she was extremely anaemic and if I’d have waited a day they told me it would have been a very different story.
My friend had a stillbirth at the same gestation which is why I went back in, if it wasn’t for her experience I would have felt like I was wasting their time and possibly not gone.
Looking at my 4 year old now (who is fine now!) I am so grateful that I got my bum in there.
I know you can feel like a pain but honestly that is what they’re there for, you won’t be the first and you won’t be the last. I think you need to recognise if you’d already had your baby you wouldn’t sit at home watching them listless and not themselves would you, and so the same should be applied before they’re born - more so as you’re the only one who can advocate for them at this time. 💐

greathat · 05/04/2020 10:17

I had reduced movements in my second pregnancy, had to go in for monitoring, then I had what I thought was a migraine. Midwives told me to come back in. They decided he was safer out than in, so induced me. He's now a very noisy 7 year old. Better to be safe than childless

GiBlues · 05/04/2020 13:59

Go to the hospital and get checked, better to be safe than sorry OP

daffodil1224 · 05/04/2020 14:38

OP is everything okay 💐

Nomorepies · 05/04/2020 23:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Shinyletsbebadguys · 05/04/2020 23:42

Please ignore the poster who told you to ignore it (mine is a good ending I promise but seriously heed my advice) I was GD too, choleostasis and ds2 movements slowed , I went in three times in the space of 24 hours , long story short hellp syndrome made its prescence known dramatically (leave it to me to be suitably dramatic ) as I was on a scan table and they had literally minutes to get us into theatre to save both of us.

I'm honestly not trying to scare you ds2 is now a happy healthy tasmanian devil of 4 and absolutely fine as am I , but had i not gone back in we would not be here today, that's not a debate or an exaggeration, mine involved being raced through the hospital at high speed, it was that close.

I know it's hard with covid i really do , but do not hesitate , go back in. I've never met a midwife worth their salt who would not give the same advice.

Lynda07 · 06/04/2020 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 06/04/2020 14:14

Lynda whilst your searched for the one result that backs you up, did you have to scroll past hundreds of results telling you you are wrong and peddling dangerous horseshit? I can't believe you'd post it in the first place, but to repeat your nonsense when you have been corrected many times is completely outrageous. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

GotTheCityOnLockdown · 06/04/2020 15:02

@Lynda07 That advice is irresponsible, dangerous and downright fucking stupid.

Rosebyanothername19 · 06/04/2020 15:10

I hope you're ok OP! It's never stupid to ask and ask again when pregnant if you have any worries at all! I got sent home twice with my first at 23 weeks as I thought my waters had broken. The consultant twice basically just told me I had poor bladder control... the third time I got checked properly by a different consultant and it was my waters! Always ask for a second opinion if you're not sure and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of for going back! Good luck! Xxx

Grrrpredictivetex · 06/04/2020 21:12

Hope you're ok OP.

Made a mistake and now not sure what to do