Sex defines a relationship

[Goostacean]

Saw this on another thread, but not a TAAT:
“Sex defines a relationship, if it is not present then you have a friendship.”

Struggling with this one; on one hand, completely agree. But on the other hand, many people have sexless marriages for various reasons and are very happy.

What do you think?

Having been on both sides of the coin, I'd say it is an important part of a relationship. As would DP who was also in a sexless relationship before me. We've both made the decision that we consciously wouldn't want to go through that again, although this is barring illnesses etc. We have a strong bond and lots of affection outside the bedroom too but I'm not going to pretend that a good sex life isn't important to us.

How others choose to conduct their relationships is up to them.

I'm not going to pretend that a good sex life isn't important to us.

why would anyone do that?!

6 years into a cohabiting relationship and I'm going through a long period of no libido, zero, nothing there at all. Mental health issues (depression and others), perimenopausal and medication have all contributed and my partner has said many times to that at best we are just friends.

I would even say that because I made feel that I am not thinking of his needs and he is having to 'tolerate' my situation regardless of how it makes him feel. Honestly it makes me feel rubbish. How can I help how I feel - just like he can't help how he feels...?

Plenty of people go off sex when eg stressed, mental health issues, illness, certain treatments for illness, certain illnesses, old age

And lots of people have always had a bad relationship with sex due to trauma/abuse

But sexual desire is what separates romantic love from other forms of attraction. Without it you just have friendship.

Not true. Some people are asexual but still want romantic relationships.

I think if there’s no sex at all it’s a friendship not a relationship.

Helmet TONNES of people do exactly that. One half of a couple wants sex, the other doesn't. The one who doesn;t will quite often stick their head in the sand and pretend things are fine.
It's incredibly hard though....if someone does not want sex then they of course should not have sex.

But you see posts on here all the time where women seem to feel compelled to have sex with partners they don't like.

I think it's all fear based. Fear of being alone.

well thats a silly attitude then- for most healthy people in their 20s- 50s having a sexual relationship with their partner is a normal goal. i dont know why people pretend it isnt, just as i dont get the other extreme attitude that if youre not having regular sex despite health problems, stress, aging etc you're nothing more than friends.