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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex creeping on tinder . Aibu?

21 replies

thefiredog · 04/04/2020 14:32

Exh messaged me
The other evening to tell me that he received a text to say That I am on tinder ! Back story is that he left me 9 months ago and straight into the arms of ow.
He quoted my profile to me! AIBU to find this strange and creepy?
Would someone really
Message a man who left his wife for ow to tell him of ex wife's on line activity!
Why would he care. He is in love by all accounts,

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 04/04/2020 14:33

Do you have to have contact due to dc? If not, block the tosser.

Original poster
thefiredog · 04/04/2020 14:34

Yes we do.
Is he on tinder too ,under an Alias, in your opinion?

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 04/04/2020 14:38

Bollocks he received a text. He's on there himself and found you by location.

I hope you didn't dignify it with a reply.

Be wary of people who message you on there, keep in mind he may catfish you so keep your communication with guys vague and Google people you're talking to.

Original poster
thefiredog · 04/04/2020 14:42

I ignored him.
I am unsettled by the text though. He is meant to be happy.
Maybe he doesn't want me to be happy.

OP posts:
Original poster
thefiredog · 04/04/2020 14:49

Anyone think he is innocent in this

OP posts:
dancemom · 04/04/2020 14:51

One of his single friends could have seen it and screenshot it and sent it to him?

Either way it's none of his business so I would just ignore

Scarydinosaurs · 04/04/2020 14:55

Even if he isn’t on tinder wtf is he doing messaging you about you being on there?

WickedlyPetite · 04/04/2020 15:03

However he found out, it's none of his business so don't even respond.

And don't give this any more of your headspace either.

I get the feeling from your post that you want this to mean something. The only thing it means is that he's an arsehole and you're well rid.

Original poster
thefiredog · 04/04/2020 15:05

Exactly. Any idea why he would
Do something like that? Why the hell
Would he care ? And the funny things my is, I only joined to see what it was all about and deleted my account and the app after a couple of hours.

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 04/04/2020 15:08

You're spending waaaaay too much headspace on this fucker.

He was a slag, and he wants the satisfaction of thinking you're being a slag too. Because then how bad can he be if you're doing the same thing? Right?

If you had responded, he'd have given you some smart arse comment about it.

Block and ignore. And forget the fucker.

Original poster
thefiredog · 04/04/2020 15:10

Hi. Thanks. I
Don't love him anymore so it is not that In
Secretly wishing he loves me again. He doesn't. He is head over heels with ow.

I just feel that I don't Know what's real on tinder. He could be hiding and pretend my
To be someone else and that unsettled me.
Maybe it's a good
Lesson to make sure I never give away any personal information which is a pity.

OP posts:
daffodil1224 · 04/04/2020 15:11

You won't find out if it was him or someone else. I'd say "yes I am, really enjoying it!"

LokisLover · 04/04/2020 15:16

It’s clear it’s got to him and he doesn’t like that you are on tinder, why point it out otherwise? Not that you should give a shit what he thinks but his poor fragile male ego has been dented.

Scarydinosaurs · 04/04/2020 15:44

What did he actually say to you?

Elieza · 04/04/2020 15:49

He’s just messing with your head.

Classic ‘I don’t want her but I want to keep her hanging as I don’t want anyone else to have her’.

Ignore.

If he says anything at dc handover time just say yeah I’m on it, and turn the convo right back to something like ‘So what time will I collect dc tomorrow’ or something dc related so he knows you arent going to discuss your personal life.

Original poster
thefiredog · 04/04/2020 15:53

He said that he got a message from his friend
Telling him that I was on tinder and continued to tell me
Exactly what was written in my
Profile Confused

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 04/04/2020 15:54

Oh I wouldn't be able to resist this one.

'''A friend'? LOL!

Are things not as rosy as they should be, already?

Flattered, I didn't think you'd be searching me up. Or maybe you're just becoming a bored stalkery creep already.

It's like 'How to look insecure to your ex, Lesson 1'

LOL!''

There's no reason you shouldn't be on any site you like, so fuck him.

What a twat. At least you know now that he's no happier and the grass isn't greener... but it never is, with cheats.

No, not innocent. Not at all. Bothering to quote your profile? He's on there, and he's bothered!

Scarydinosaurs · 04/04/2020 15:56

Oh god even weirder!

What was the point of that? Was he saying it to ridicule you?

Original poster
thefiredog · 04/04/2020 15:58

I don't know what his point was , at all?

It was like he thought it was shameful for
Me To be on there.
Yes I felt like I was being shamed for some
Reason.

OP posts:
Scarydinosaurs · 04/04/2020 17:47

Madness.

What a creep.

dontdisturbmenow · 04/04/2020 17:53

I clear case of happy not to be with you any longer but doesn't like idea that someone else is and even more that you could be happy. Very typical reaction.

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