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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Viewing the neighbours differently after this?

193 replies

bmbonanza · 04/04/2020 12:38

Neighbours are a nice older couple. Friday afternoon they had a BBQ - two cars arrived. Today they have packed the dog in the car and left at 9am, presumably since they both went, with the dog, and are not back 4 hours later, its not an essential shopping trip so guessing they have done what the do most weekends and gone to visit their children and grandkids.

I always thought of them as 'nice people' - Am I being unreasonable to think I will view them differently at the end of all this.

OP posts:
waterlego · 06/04/2020 09:03

I will view my neighbours differently, yes. I see them now as friends. We have been helping each other with shopping, lending garden tools and jigsaw puzzles (we leave things on the end of our driveways for people to pick up). We have a WhatsApp group where we check in from time to time. Yesterday, 6 households had a chat on Zoom while we all sat in our gardens, some having BBQs. There is a lovely sense of community here and we feel so lucky.

starlight13 · 06/04/2020 09:50

They are selfish fools who appear to have a sense of entitlement. This is why I am keeping my family away from everyone and I think it is public duty to either report them or at least talk to them yourself, I would, even if it's a note through their door saying that you will report them. If we all did this then this would have an impact - the naming and shaming approach. These are the members of the public who are always complaining. Let's hope that theit last complaint isn't over the lack of a ventilator when they are in the ICU.

sprite25 · 06/04/2020 11:14

The only neighbours who I know are not following the rules are the ones that are arse holes the rest of the time, doing what they always do having loud parties/bbqs/people round to smoke weed/bonfires carrying on like its business as usual, yet we've stayed in unless to go out for essentials as I'm terrified of my kids getting the virus and my family haven't yet met DD who I had two weeks ago. I agree with the poster who said the point of this is to slow the spread of virus as it's impossible to completely stop it but the fact that some people don't give a shit while others are risking their health and dying is unbelievable

Ludways · 06/04/2020 11:55

The woman over the road has a boyfriend who turns up about 3 nights a week, sometimes with his own kids, she also has the previous 2 husbands turn up and take the kids away, her adults son also has his girlfriend over, so there's 6 adults and 6 kids in and out of that house at random. All other houses are fine, no one coming and going, who shouldn't be and all pretty much locked down.
I never notice this sort of thing normally, being at home 24 hours a day is having an effect on my nosey neighbour abilities!

Fluffybutter · 06/04/2020 12:27

This pandemic has really shown me who is a decent person and who is a selfish arsehole .
Now I know one side are decent people and the other side are pricks who still have family over and go out whenever they please !

gemwem · 06/04/2020 12:36

I never liked my neighbours anyway they have parties and play loud music and now they think they r better than everyone else and don’t have to go by what is said someone came to drop something off on Saturday and she came flying out of the house and hugged her and stood talking to her really close then today one of their friends turns up and he has his dog he comes into their garden and stands right next to him and the daughter and also they r looking at things on his phone shoulder to shoulder I was cleaning I couldn’t not say quite loudly about them thinking they above everyone else and about u r supposed to be 2 metres apart! They r completely selfish I am missing seeing my parents and sister and friends and people like them will mean it is even longer till I can see them!

nyu82 · 06/04/2020 15:41

Our neighbours lit a bonfire on Sunday afternoon.....smoke everywhere, we heard other neighbours coughing ....people are not thinking at all.

Diverami · 06/04/2020 18:21

Is she a shut in being checked on? I and my daughter go most days to an elderly relative who is mainly stuck in bed - because things go wrong occasionally. For instance one carer could not open the door when it was a bit sticky - so no supper.

FelicisNox · 06/04/2020 19:09

YANBU.

People know they shouldn't BUT and they do it anyway.

They are the reason we will end up in lockdown.

My colleague has banged on for weeks about social distancing and then told me she drove to her mums in London at the weekend, took her some toilet roll and cleaned her house?

She also admitted she bought 70 toilet rolls after slating painc/bulk buyers.

They just don't think the rules apply to them BECAUSE.....

Xv57tn · 15/04/2020 18:32

Well, of course. What these people are doing is, apart from selfish, very dangerous for everyone. Nobody knows who has the virus, this is not the flu. Essential workers are risking their lives for all of us. What these neighbours are doing is a disgrace.

Fizzle100 · 22/04/2020 18:04

Damn these posts on neighbours make me realise how nosey people really are. Haha

tonybaloney · 07/06/2020 20:34

I am not sure what to do and would be very grateful of some advise.

I recently moved into our dream townhouse in London that is in the middle of two semi townhouses. The town house to our left was up for sale and empty.

The neighbour (Gary) was parking on our drive as the house had been empty and putting his bins and motorbike on our land, its a funny set up as our land and parking are at the side of his house and he has never fenced it. They never came over or said hello.

When we moved in he moved his cars, but left his bins on the land but we never bumped into him expecting him to move them, weeks went by and he didn't move them and then when I walked past his wife one day she ignored me.

We walk up a path to a tiny garden, this leads to a main road that takes you to a road that leads to the shops. The neigbour kept walking through our garden as if it was his own and through our gate, we let this go as we don't like confrontation.

However every time this happened we got more wound up until one day he walked through with a glass of wine in his hand from visiting a neighbour at night when his back gate backs onto the neighbours house.

So the next day we asked him why he was using the gate and he said he had always used it and the neighbour who lived at our house before was his mate, everyone uses it he said although we had never seen anyone but his family go through.

He then said he had a right of way and even knew the clause number and document. we were shocked as we had bought it as having a private garden. so we let him go through again without stopping him until we had double checked everything with our solicitor.

During this time the neighbour from being really unfriendly started to be very friendly even inviting us round for drinks, but we turned him down as we were already going out that night.

We then found out that there was no right of way and the previous seller had put that there was no right of way. so we put up cameras and a lock on a new gate with intercom. From that point he ignores us and walks away when we go past his gate to get to our cars. His wife also snubs us.

Fast forward a few months later another neighbour has moved into the town house on our other side. Now the reaction of Gary could not have been more different, he was over straight away, and now they are literally best buddies, I have never seen such a friendship develop so quickly, its like they are in love., its a bit strange to be honest its like he was desperate to be this guys best friend from day one helping him renovate his house.

Now we held back as we don't like to push ourselves on people and are very quite people, however when we first bumped into these new neighbours they were for no reason very off with us, and I can only think that gary has been calling us to them as they don't even know us. Now they both very loud on either side of us and we feel like we are the enemy of them both.

We are very upset about this as we feel we have done nothing wrong and that all we did was claim a right to our own garden being private.

As a side note when I had my first chat with Gary he also slagged off a couple of neighbours.

We love the house and wanted to stay long term but my mother has advised me to sell up - any ideas please?

zscaler · 07/06/2020 20:54

@tonybaloney you should start your own thread - your post has nothing to do with this one, so you won’t get people reading it and responding properly.

borntohula · 07/06/2020 21:01

Good god listen to yourselves, some of you. 😂

Nanalisa60 · 07/06/2020 21:08

Maybe they went to a Black lives matter protest, that perfectly ok they all had masks on!! 😂😂😂

BlueJava · 07/06/2020 22:07

I won't view them differently, we all do.what we do and I don't judge. I do perceive the general mood has changed around here though - people who strictly observed the rules have had sleepovers for kids, visits from relatives and people.to dinner with food brought for sharing by different houses. I am not a fan or otherwise of Dominic Cummings but at the time his antics came out attitudes generally seemed to loosen.

Redglitter · 07/06/2020 22:13

Maybe they went to a Black lives matter protest

Unlikely since the OP posted about them in early April 🤭

Someone has rather randomly resurrected the thread with an unrelated post

ShandlersWig · 07/06/2020 22:59

It occured to me today, that I look like my DC and dogs haven't left the house in 10 weeks as we go out by the back door via a back gate. I'll have neighbours who could think the dogs never get walked and DC never go on bikes etc outside!

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