Viewing the neighbours differently after this?

[bmbonanza]

Neighbours are a nice older couple. Friday afternoon they had a BBQ - two cars arrived. Today they have packed the dog in the car and left at 9am, presumably since they both went, with the dog, and are not back 4 hours later, its not an essential shopping trip so guessing they have done what the do most weekends and gone to visit their children and grandkids.

I always thought of them as 'nice people' - Am I being unreasonable to think I will view them differently at the end of all this.

I think a lot of older people are struggling with understanding this, couple of examples

Two weeks ago before lockdown my Mum (83) told me she went to my sisters for dinner, this was on Mother’s Day. My BIL’s mum was there too plus my two nieces (only one lives there). My mum got a telling off by me.

Talked to my mum earlier in the week, her sister who is late 70’s was talking to her saying how she didn’t go to see her grandchildren at the weekend, one of them was 13 so she didn’t see him on his birthday. Said to my mum, well she couldn’t have gone anyway and her reply was ‘but they are family and haven’t got anything’

Also my DP’s aunt ( 77) had a bad stroke end of 2018 and another back in January. She’s in a nursing home on lockdown no visitors. She’s so desperate to get home she’s faking being well enough even though she isn’t as she thinks she will get visitors galore when she gets home.

Not only that but I see very little sign of social distancing in town or the supermarket if you see an elderly person.

@NewPapaGuinea fully agree, surprised at some of the comments on here. It's everyone's business, the more people break the rules, the more it spreads. The more people die. It's irresponsible.

I know someone like this, I think their mindset is if I get it I get it. It’s my risk to take. I won’t spread it to anyone as I only see my famil.

What they don’t say or think is if I get it I won’t use hospital resources, they aren’t thinking about the doctor, the nurse, the paramedic, the bed, the medication, they are more likely to need. Nor usually do they wish to decline that when it comes to it, they aren’t thinking of the pressure on the nhs.

I wish people would stop thinking that they KNOW what the rule breakers are doing?
You have no idea what’s going on in their lives
Maybe they’re helping others, maybe they’ve gone to drop off stuff for homeless, volunteering, maybe they’ve gone to live with the family my neighbours have no idea that I now have sole responsibility for a relative with Alzheimer’s. That I have to make sure he’s safe, clean, fed and watered.

All my neighbours have been carrying on as usual. Letting their children play out together all day. Sitting in eachothers gardens and drinking/having BBQ's. I'm silently hoping they all get it. Not the kids obviously - but what is soo hard about self isolating and staying away from people?! It baffles me! I would never knowingly put my children in danger of catching a virus that has killed thousands in just a few short weeks 🤯

I know people that packed up and went away as soon as school closed. House has had all curtains shut for over 2 weeks and the bin is still out from then too. Lock down happened the day they went away so they knew they shouldn't but did. Bloody irresponsible and teaches their kids (both juniors) that this isn't serious and rules don't matter. Seen them in a whole new light now! (they are also the first ones to report people for just about everything so it really takes the p#ss)

Not really. It's just confirmed my suspicions about which ones are twats.
One neighbour popping over his fence to mix with the other side and bang a couple of nails in. Other neighbours still haven't got rid of their dead Xmas tree or done any gardening in years. I have to look at their shit hole.

The ones I talk to are keeping active, pottering in the garden and it appears being sensible.

I view my neighbours differently, but in a good way. I like a lot of the people on the estate I live on but have thought of them as a bit haphazard and rowdy, leaving a lot of kids bikes and toys out all over the place, blah. Even before the lockdown, they were all mostly indoors, no children out playing at all. Since the lockdown, it's been exactly that. A couple of children out playing a bit of knockabout football with their dad, everyone doing the right thing, all of us having a bit of a chat on Thursday's when we come out to clap and various neighbours messaging around the estate on Facebook or through letterboxes to see if anyone needs any help with shopping, etc.

I think they're all bloody great now.

I don't think I would ring and tell, but I might challenge. I would be very worried about my neighbours actions. I would hope they wash their hands a lot. Those people use the same local shops and petrol stations as me and my family.
If the naughty neighbours transfer the virus to the shop worker and the shop worker then transfers it to my family and other neighbours we are all in trouble.

Chances are they wouldn't even know they had killed some of your neighbours and would be vigorously expressing their condolences on the streets WhatsApp group.

My neighbours are all being very sensible thank goodness.

Yes, my elderly neighbours had their grandson over today, and most days. There is always a car outside with visitors although not as many as usual.

Then there is the couple opposite who smoke a lot of weed, never been a fan but she has been keeping her little boy in the whole time.

Neighbours opposite really nice people. Except they’ve had their 3rd family bbq since these rules started. I don’t mean immediate family I mean 30-40 guests 🤬🤬🤬

@Rainbowsparkle as nice as they may be next time you should really call the Police or it’ll keep happening

My neighbours - who back onto our garden- had a big family barbecue today!! The idiots.

Yes, this brings out the best and worst in people. Some neighbours and local businesses has been amazing, restored my faith and some obviously showing their true colours. 😐

We have called the police. I’m a key worker. I’m still having to go to work and risk my health for others to think they can just carry on as normal. 🤬

We have neighbours like this. One rule for them and one for everyone else. We live in a very very small community in the country side so lots of fields and walks right on our doorstep. They posted on a group chat defending their decision about driving to the beach or woods for a walk. Or a 2 hour round trip with husband and kids to drop shopping off at her parents as their Sainsbury’s delivery was missing a few items! But they are always the first to shout off if anyone does anything they deem wrong. It’s hard not to notice in such a small community or when they’re posting pictures on social media about the lovely trips!

Our neighbours are all following the rules. People are only going out to walk our dogs or go to the local shops. We have a WhatsApp group just for our road and if anyone is going shopping we message everybody to ask if people need anything - if we can get it of course. We have one old couple on the road. She’s in her eighties and he has Alzheimer’s. We all look out for them. I’ve left bread, milk and eggs on their step.

One neighbour has chickens so she supplying eggs to most of us. Another neighbour makes homemade wine so leaves a bottle on our doorstep as and when anybody wants one.

One couple are a nurse and a paramedic so we make sure they don’t go short of anything they might need. I baked a big Manchester tart for them yesterday for a sweet treat for them when they both got home from work.

Nobody is having family visiting and none of our cars - except for our nurse/paramedic pair have moved for the last two weeks.

The atmosphere on this road is lovely. Lots of support for each other and when, God willing, this is all over, we’re planning a street party.

If the lockdown regulations are made more severe I think we’ll be having a bit of a rebellion here because we’re all doing our best. We have three big dogs, our neighbour across the road has a dog and there are at least five other dogs living on our road. We’re fortunate because our road borders woodland and open fields and as peaceful and careful as we all are, I think we’ll still be walking our dogs through the woods no matter what ‘penalties’ we’re threatened with. Having said that, in the forty years we’ve lived here I’ve NEVER seen a policeman or police vehicle on this road!

My grandma and grandad would have been gone for a few hours on Friday OP whilst he went for his chemotherapy. Would that have been ok with you OP or should he run that past you next time?

FFS

@magicfarawaytrees OP said they've taken the dog, so presumably not for a medical appointment.

I do take your point that many people are going to things that we just wouldn't be aware of, so not to be so judgemental

Yeah my neighbours had the whole family over today , 4 generations

They are so vulnerable health wise and so misguided

@bemusedmoose How do you know they're on holiday?!? They may w ell have decided to spend it on a second home or an airbnb somewhere on the coast/more rural. There's nothing at all wrong with that, provided they still isolate

Yanbu in the sense that you will see them differently and have a new perspective based on your beliefs.

It is a bit curtain twitchy though.

@YouTheCat
Other neighbours (2 adults, 3 kids) buggered off after lockdown (presumably to one of their parents) but have left their dog which they come and feed once a day.

Please phone the RSPCA.

We've come to the realisation that people are far more foolish than we thought! At the start of the lockdown the park behind our house was packed far more than usual , it's a huge open space no one was social distancing , children on the play equipment all idiots , a neighbour down the road we get on with has 2 young children we previously thought she was a lovely sensible parent had her husband 3 year old and 5 year old out on the park chatting to other parents all the children mixing , she waved at my husband while he was putting the bins out , I'm never see her i n the same way people putting there children at risk is neglectful and selfish!

How do you know they're on holiday?!? They may w ell have decided to spend it on a second home or an airbnb somewhere on the coast/more rural.

Absolutely. Or they could have gone to stay with some family. I know of someone who has had to go and stay with her (not in the shielded group) parents because she has such severe asthma that if she gets ill she won't be able to care for the children, also they have more space. Sounds sensible to me !