To cancel day trip to London (C/O)

[CheesecakeAddict]

I'm trying to figure out what on earth I should do for the best here. Dd is 2 y/o. Exh lives in London and we live way up in the north. We have a court order that I have to take her down once per month and he picks her up from a central London station. Exh still wants me to take her down even though that will mean exposing dd to the train, tube, another train. On a selfish level, it also means I have to spend 7 hours hanging about London with everything closed and I'm asthmatic so I don't want to expose myself either.

I don't want to expose her (she already has a heart condition), but I know he will take legal action if I break the court order and I'm getting mixed messages from cafcass. Their argument is that I got the family car so technically could do a 6 hour drive each way to enable contact 🙄. I really don't know what to do. Staying at his house is also not an option, due to previous DV.

Let him take legal action. The courts aren’t open for crap like this at the moment.

Stand your ground

Definitely do NOT go

Let him take court action, he will be laughed out

Don’t Go, it’s against government guidelines and will be traumatic for your daughter. You may be turned back at any point in the journey, and even prosecuted.

I’m so sorry you’re in this position. I think it’s fair to say your daughter wouldn’t be safe travelling by public transport or with an exhausted mother driving. If you take yourself out the equation which CAFCASS will do and just look at what is SAFE for your daughter I think staying at home is the best, safest option for her. Good luck. X

I don't think that counts as an essential journey. he can feck right off.

A good father would understand and would not expect contact. This is just another way for him to continue trying to control you.

In the circumstances any decent man would be offering to come up to you.
Stand your ground. You have all the current advice to back you up
Good luck op

Dont go.

I would definitely stay put and take my chances with the court. This has to be extenuating circumstances. You could of course buy yourself a month by developing a cough today and then DD developing a cough in 13 days time ....

No don't take her, tell him your concerns in an email so you have an audit trail in case of legal action.

Emphasise her heart condition and the risk to her.

Does dd has heart condition not mean she should be shielded 12wk category

What Seren said. Any decent man would not subject a 2 year old to that risk. Disgraceful

She has a heart condition, and once-a-month contact is hardly frequent. You really should not make this journey, for her sake. Offer Facetime/Zoom contact instead.

If he tries to take you back to court over this, they will tell him to get knotted. This is not the time for petty point-scoring over contact.

www.judiciary.uk/announcements/coronavirus-crisis-guidance-on-compliance-with-family-court-child-arrangement-orders/

Don’t know if this might help.

Definitely don't go. No way would a court insist you should subject your daughter to that journey with everything going on.

He's a despicable human being if he wants to expose his 2 yo with an underlying condition to be exposed.

Offer FaceTime convos more frequently than once a month to make up for the loss of his monthly to me with her.

The country is in lockdown. There is not court that would stand with him on this, even if he could go to court now. You can’t take her. Just stay at home OP. I am sorry he is trying to bully you like this.
Shows how little he cares for his daughter, other than as a way of hurting you.

www.judiciary.uk/announcements/coronavirus-crisis-guidance-on-compliance-with-family-court-child-arrangement-orders/

Ps the link I posted above does seem to state that you don’t need to go @CheesecakeAddict

I would email saying that of course you still want him to have contact, but given your DDs heart condition you din't think a journey by train, tube then train is in her best interests given the current pandemic. Does he have any other suggestions for how he could have access? Could he travel up and see her instead?

I would do it like this to have proof that you are not denying access per se, you are simply refusing to take your DD on multiple public transport journeys. If he wants to travel up I would let him have access.

The government has stated that in this situation children should remain with the parent they spend the most time with

No. No. No. I would take my chances, I can't imagine who would think this is unreasonable.

To clarify, I mean take my chances at the courts! I would no way subject little one to that journey.

Don't go, it is not essential travel, he is putting you and your child at risk.

She and you have conditions which make you vulnerable, so you shouldn't be taking a train, and you can't wander around for 7 hours. . . Driving for 12 hours in a day is unsafe. Protect your daughter, stay home, connect electronically and let him take you to court. What he is asking is beyond reasonable.

Send a message clearly stating why you don't feel it is in the child's best interests to be making that journey. Offer a compromise perhaps of him coming to you. I doubt he'll take you up on this but it will show that you tried to act in child's best interests if there is any action taken at a later date. I doubt there would be a case to answer tho.

Absolutely don’t go.