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Original poster

Children playing in garden

260 replies

SMarie123 · 02/04/2020 20:05

My neighbours have an electrical cable running along the wall between our two houses. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year year old, we are in Ireland so we have been home for 3 weeks already.

My husband is a front of line healthcare worker and is doing 13 hour days every day (including long days from home at weekends) I am supposed to be working but really I am minding kids... thank god for nice bosses. anyway yesterday I was on conference calls and I put them in the garden. There was no drama specifically, but I could tell I was causing the neighbours annoyance (they are retired and like to spend time in the garden. The man is always doing gardening and they watch him as they are home in the day just now).

Anyway the lady complained that the 4 year old pulled the wire (didn't break it or anything). She said she was concerned for his safety.., in the grand scheme of things it is just such a petty point but she went on and on.... Now I feel like I can't put them in the garden which is super annoying. He hasn't gone near the wire again but it was such a dramatic reaction.

I am torn between bringing round a card to apologise and just being indignant. Longer term I don't think it pays to fall out with your neighbours.

OP posts:
SpillTheTea · 02/04/2020 21:01

Why are people criticising OP's parenting when the issue is the neighbours have stupidly put the cables up so it's unsafe?
Don't apologise, you have no reason to. You should to tell them to sort it out.

5zeds · 02/04/2020 21:01

What is the cable for?

Original poster
SMarie123 · 02/04/2020 21:02

Really nicknacjy? I was sitting inside the house looking out the back (which is 75% glass). There are no blind spots apart from where the gate is, but they didn't go there, both of them were in full view of me 100% of the time.

I was in a call and I was listening so say I was giving the kids 100%. I could see the 2 year old playing at his sand table and I could see the 4 year old doing versions thing including being at the wire.
He isn't a rough child he wasn't tugging it but, yes he was at it.

I know he was looking over the fence because the gentleman was mowing his lawn and the noise attracted him. Clearly under normal situations I would not be at home with my kids trying to work. They must know this because we have lived here for 7 years.

OP posts:
Ballygowenwater · 02/04/2020 21:03

Also in Ireland if it matters. My 3 yr old let’s herself out into the garden whenever she fancies as she can open the kitchen door. I’ve no issue with her playing out there on her own so long as I can hear her and stick my nose out every couple of minutes.

Nicknacky · 02/04/2020 21:03

Like I said, your initial posts insinuated that you weren’t watching them constantly.

LostInSaigon · 02/04/2020 21:05

Personally id be raising the fence straight away, nothing worse than nosey neihbours gorping at you over the fence. Id also be asking the neihbours to run their wire on their side of the fence as it should not be on your side or in reach of children. Potentially dangerous and illegal.

BeetrootRocks · 02/04/2020 21:05

What is the wire for?

EmeraldShamrock · 02/04/2020 21:07

Let the children in the garden, as long as it is safe. I wouldn't apologise maybe they should apologise for not getting the cable sorted, insist they get this done.
If ever it was a time to live and let live this is it, we all need to make allowance on top of each other.

AmelieTaylor · 02/04/2020 21:07

The problem is THEIR unsafe wire, not your kids.

Of course it’s fine for your kids to play in your small garden where you can see them.

Can you block the bit where the wire is? Better still make them Move it, or do something safe with it?

Yes kids calling at you over the fence can be a bit annoying, but if it’s only for a short while then 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do not write & apologise.

Original poster
SMarie123 · 02/04/2020 21:09

The flower bed is built into the wall, there is no gap it can't move. We got our house renovated last year and we know we need to put something up for privacy, at the moment the flower bed has nothing in it apart from mud. They sometimes use their little diggers in it.

The 4 year old is unlikely to fall off it, the 2 year old I only allow climb on it if we are there.

Maybe it is me but if I was mowing a lawn and a 4 year old was looking, I just don't think it would bother me. He is shy and isn't talking to them. He has never so much as kicked a ball over, but he did touch the wire (I seen him).

OP posts:
Hollyhobbi · 02/04/2020 21:11

Is your neighbours garden the same size? What do they need a cable for? Surely if it was for the mower the cable wouldn't need to be running along a fence?

Original poster
SMarie123 · 02/04/2020 21:12

Their garden is much bigger ( we did an extension last year)

OP posts:
Indecisivelurcher · 02/04/2020 21:12

My 5yo and 2yo play in the garden on their own, I leave the door open so I can hear them but I can't see them. They could get up to just as much mischief in a different room in the house.

Cherrysoup · 02/04/2020 21:13

I’d be pissed off with neighbour’s kids staring at me but having an electrical wire on a shared boundary is dumb of them. I would see if you could put up a barrier ASAP.

millymoo1202 · 02/04/2020 21:16

I’d be telling them to get their cable moved as your children are allowed to play in their own garden safely especially in these circumstances

StarShapedWindow · 02/04/2020 21:17

Of course they should cut you some slack! My neighbours are retired and haven’t moaned or complained once about our kids using our garden more despite them being used to silence during the daytime. It’s a difficult time for everyone, two little kids watching the lawn being mowed is quite sweet. If I were you I would (very diplomatically) say to the neighbour that now she’s pointed it out it has worried you a bit, please could she move the cable to her own side of the wall - just in case.

Original poster
SMarie123 · 02/04/2020 21:19

Cherrysoup, given that it has only started since lockdown would you be that annoyed? Would you not think it will be over soon? Do all kids not like to watch people mowing lawns? Cutting wood?

It isn't like he is asking questions, he is actually very shy.

OP posts:
alphajuliet123 · 02/04/2020 21:21

I'm confused about why the neighbour's wire is on your side of the garden. Where is is leading from and to?

I think you need to see about getting the wire moved, and also tell the children not to look over the wall.

Phineyj · 02/04/2020 21:21

I would fix a solid piece of trellis to the wall on your side of the wire. Privacy and safety in one. If they object you can just say 'oh, like you said, the wire/clips could be dangerous!'

ILikTheBred · 02/04/2020 21:22

Also in Ireland OP. We wanted to run a cable from the house to our shed so we could install a light. Our electrician was very clear that such a wire needed to be buried underground - It is illegal to do otherwise. So your neighbours are in the wrong to have the wire openly accessible.

I too have a glass door out to the back garden and one of the joys of it is that you can supervise the kids from the comfort of the kitchen. So I don’t think you’re being unreasonable here.

Would you consider (when all this madness ends) installing a trellis on top of your wall? We did this to raise the height from 6 feet to 7.5 feet (with our neighbours’ agreement). Relations with them are MUCH better since it was installed, especially as the kids have gotten older and things like footballs are getting thrown around.

saraclara · 02/04/2020 21:24

I would be checking that this cable is fully armoured. And if it's unsafe then it should be entirely on their property.

Bhappy12 · 02/04/2020 21:24

I had a very similar issue recently, except it was our dog that kept looking over the fence! In the end we had a chat with the neighbours and said we'd like to have a bit more privacy and was sure they would, too, so how did they feel about going halves on a fence topper for the dividing wall. They thought it was a great idea, it was bought and installed and we've all felt more comfortable using our gardens ever since. (And the dog just started looking through the knackered fence the other side of our garden-Hahaha!)
For what it's worth, we have an electric cable running down the wall to a little brick shed/workshop at at the bottom of our garden. It's on our side of the wall though, as it should be. Maybe mention it if your neighbours bring it up again.

Wineislifex · 02/04/2020 21:27

I would hate next doors kids staring over the fence into my garden when I’m spending time out there, so you need to stop that it’s rude.

The wire sounds unsafe, I would address that with the neighbours and not let the kids play out there unsupervised until it’s sorted.

sandragreen · 02/04/2020 21:29

Agree with PP - your focus is rather odd here.

Tell your neighbours they need to remove the cable. Whose boundary is it, yours or theirs?

Is the cable actually on your side of the wall? If it's on the other side then you need to put a trellis or something there so DC cannot access it.

And I am pretty lax but would not let 2 year old and 4 year old play unsupervised in garden. If you had been supervising them, DC wouldn't have grabbed an electric cable would he? Confused

GabsAlot · 02/04/2020 21:36

i wouldnt want kids standing over the fence looking at me-my garden is private

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