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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to plan on having a BBQ

439 replies

Numptydumptyfelloffthewall · 02/04/2020 12:58

Hi,

I've seen such conflicting advice and information on this lockdown that I'm starting to doubt my own judgement. I've tried to follow the lockdown to the letter. DH and I are working full time from home and i've been out once since lockdown for food shopping. We have 2 DC (4, 6) who are home and havent been out, they run around in the garden for exercise.

I have some BBQ coal in the shed and was wondering if it would be unreasonable/ wrong for DH, me and the 2 DC to have a BBQ on Sunday when the weather is predicted to be a bit nicer. We wouldnt need to buy any supplies or meet anyone else and it would really brighten a very stressed and difficult week but I dont want to be disrespectful or undermine the lockdown, esp as I have family both on the shielding list and working in the NHS, so I really understand how important it is to delay the spread of Covid 19.

We're in a standard 1930s 3 bed semi so we have a nice sized garden but not huge. If we do go ahead, should we go in if our neighbours also come into their garden? Or set up at the bottom of the garden? I usually keep the kids inside during the actual cooking as DD4 is asthmatic but they find eating BBQ food outside to be a huge novelty/ treat.

OP posts:
Rebootingagain · 02/04/2020 16:36
  • They have also implemented a total 40mph speed limit to reduce accidents on the empty roads (we normally have no speed limit out of towns) @Rebootingagain who do you mean by ‘they’? None of this is in the legislation. I can see why it might be best not to have loads of bonfires if there are people with breathing difficulties nearby, but that looks like some of the overreach the Cabinet Office have been criticising.*

I said where I live. I think it’s safe to assume from your response that you don’t live where I live as our government have passed the above as law. I would have though you could have figured that out from the fact that I said we don’t typically have speed limits outside the towns and I guess you do.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 02/04/2020 16:37

We are having a BBQ at the weekend and burning a chimera... the tip is closed and we had to completely decorate ds bedroom due to a burst pipe... we have a back garden that’s full of cardboard and damaged wood furniture... we phoned the council and they advised they cannot see the tip being opened for another 4-6 weeks... so dh has chopped the wood and cardboard into manageable fire wood...

Our garden is ds2 haven atm... he goes out every other/3 days evening with dh to play footie however outside if that this is his only space to play... which he can’t as it’s a junk yard.

BaileysforBreakfast · 02/04/2020 16:43

I think the best approach to Covid 19 is to be as obnoxious as possible to your neighbours. Burn shit, play loud music etc. After all, there's no law against it.

BaileysforBreakfast · 02/04/2020 16:45

And if you don't agree with my post, you should go and live in North Korea.

0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 02/04/2020 16:48

I'm all for being as merry as possible but I really don't think bonfires or barbeques are acceptable when there could be people around you struggling to fight off Covid-19. It's one of those things that perhaps one family could do but would be a problem if everyone did-therefore it's probably better not to do.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 02/04/2020 16:54

There's always a hyperbolic wanker isn't there Hmm

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 02/04/2020 16:55

Scratch that
There's several
Some people really are utter fucking dementors

Roussette · 02/04/2020 16:55

I think it would be nice if you didn't inflict smoke on your neighbours given that Covid 19 affects the respiratory system

God alive. Do all your neighbours have Covid then? Do you know this, have they told you?
I know 3 people who have it. One had mild symptoms. One can't leave her bed and has been over a week there. One is in hospital. I doubt a neighbour having a barbecue would affect one of those people.

There are some right Debbie Drainers on here. I wish people would try and get a bit of joy or if they can't manage it... allow the rest of us to.

I suggest they beat themselves with sticks, and go in a dark room whilst sipping on a thimble full of water.

FrothyB · 02/04/2020 16:56

We cooked a stew out on the fire pit last week on a nice evening. A really nice, relaxing thing to do, and we have loads of wood left over as we haven't really had the fire on this winter.

All we did was send the neighbours a courtesy text as they had their washing out. An hour later it had dried, they got it in, I set the fire up, no dramas anywhere.

As for someone up thread saying it felt like too joyous a thing to do so it felt wrong. Fair enough, although my logic is this. I still have to go out to work, I'm also the designated shopper and I take some bits to my Mum (leave them at her back door, step away etc), I've also volunteered to take things round the community if needed. The worst case scenario is I catch it and a few days later I'm dead, so I'll be damned if I'm not going to try and enjoy the little things still available to me whilst I can, such as cooking in the garden. Maybe other people around us can't, and they may get sad or jealous, but denying myself something to spare their feelings won't mean an awful lot if the worst happens will it?

Roussette · 02/04/2020 16:59

Bonfires, no.

Barbecues, yes.

What else are the unjoyful gonna ban? Perhaps I shouldnt sit in my garden with a glass of wine because it's not fair if my NDN thinks they have the virus and they aren't going in their garden, and me sat here is rubbing their nose in it.

Let's all be sensible. But please let's not rub ourselves all over with stinging nettles and sit in a hot bath to make ourselves feel worse.

AngelicInnocent · 02/04/2020 17:07

We lit a little instant bbq about 11pm the other night. Sausages cooked over it and stuck in a bun, then strawberries and marshmallows on sticks afterwards.

We sat under blankets and watched the space station overhead, laughed and had fun. Got to bed about 1am. Why not?

Crayfishforyou · 02/04/2020 17:10

Bloody hell, DH and I would have had a bbq this weekend if we hadn't had covid symptoms. I don't think inhaling smoke would do us any favours at all for a while. We have a load of burgers in the freezer that need eating.
Maybe next week.
It's a physical lockdown not a fun lockdown. You have to do some things to make it bearable.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 02/04/2020 17:15

Roussette
don't play daft, how do you know your neighbours don't!

Regardless of the C19, you should not be nuisance for your neighbours. A regular and quick bbq is not a big deal. I don't even need to close my own windows when I have one outside. No need to cover anything in smoke!

A ridiculous fire pit smoking the neighbourhood is never acceptable, move out of the way if you don't want neighbours.

Scarlettpixie · 02/04/2020 17:17

Enjoy your BBQ OP :)

PhilCornwall1 · 02/04/2020 17:19

Christ on a crumpet... Is there some kind of competition running that I'm not aware of, where the most miserable person gets automatic immunity from Covid 19 or something?

It gets you to the top of the list for a test.

This sodding virus is sending people off their nuts. Ultimately the way it has to be looked at is, if you get it you get it and it will either kill you or won't. You can't put your life on hold (anymore than the other buggers have for us) and not enjoy yourself. Perhaps I'm definitely unreasonable, but fuck it, I'm done with it all and just want to get on with life.

Echobelly · 02/04/2020 17:19

I fully plan to have a BBQ when the weather's good, no impediment to doing it without your own household in your own garden AFAIK.

Echobelly · 02/04/2020 17:19

*with your own household

Deux · 02/04/2020 17:45

@fourquenelles - so glad you like conniptions 😊

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 02/04/2020 18:00

l wouldn't personally. My neighbours are clearly avoiding using their gardens when others nearby are using theirs

Eye roll. Either you have very small gardens or you're being ridiculous.

Our gardens are very narrow, only about 7ft wide. I'm still using it though and hoping our neighbour isn't sitting right up against his fence!

Walkingtohealth · 02/04/2020 18:11

We are planning a BBQ on Sunday if we can. We’ve got chicken we can cook and are not planning on smoking out the neighbours. Might even chuck a bottle of wine in the trolley when I next shop.
Cheers to all the Debbie Drainers (what a superb name...thank you Rousette) 😁

Aragog · 02/04/2020 18:15

I don't think BBQs give off anywhere near as much smoke as burning a proper bonfire. And it was the latter there'd been concerns over. Bonfires also give on for much linger and the type of smoke fumes are usually worse.

0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 02/04/2020 18:39

Interesting how many folks are prepared to do things they wouldn't like others to do if they were trying to fight off Covid-19 on the basis that others around them probably don't. The reality may be that you probably do and they probably do. That is highly likely for at least some on this thread...

0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 02/04/2020 18:39

Depending on where you live...

Roussette · 02/04/2020 19:03

don't play daft, how do you know your neighbours don't!

Not playing daft. I'm sure they would tell me if they had and I dont assume everyone I know has COVID

I don;t have a firepit, what's that all about?

Since when were barbecues banned, you are talking like they are.

They aren't.

We have a huge garden and if I want a barbecue I'll have one! As I said before, I half cook everything in the oven beforehand, so it's on about 15 minutes. That's 15 minutes in a big garden with neighbours who can't even see me.

Posters are being ridiculous. All my neighbours can have barbecues and I would think... good on them wish I was having one.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 02/04/2020 19:03

Thankfully most of our neighbours have disappeared home as they are students
Thankfully also we are a live and let live kind of street (within reason) and manage to do radical things like enjoy our gardens and the occasional barbecue in a pleasant sensible way
I must live somewhere weird according to some posters on here