Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fed up with shop shamers on here

174 replies

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 01/04/2020 10:05

Firstly, please dont think I encourage people going out three times a day to get some chocolate or ice cream or whatever. The guidance is clear to go as infrequently as possible (although unlike some people think, it's NOT to go shopping once a week or fortnight). However, the amount of people saying stuff along the lines - your shopping is not essential/ we did it, therefore everyone else can do it/you don't need this or that/ you can make your own bread* (whatever other item) is a bit shocking. In times when empathy is particularly important too.

So just to say, the reason while some people cannot just go out to shop once a month like you:

  • some people have multiple food allergies and/or have limited diet, making shopping and finding the items needed more difficult.
  • some shops around are not well stocked as those in other areas and essentials are not always available the time they go shopping
  • not everyone has an industrial size fridge and freezer. I for one have no space to freeze 4 gallons of milk or 2 loafs of bread
  • not everything people may need freezes well
  • some delivery shops offer fresh produce which expire quickly. Our only delivery which we managed to sort out over the last two weeks had everything expiring within 2/3 days, with the bread expiring the next day, not a week like we hoped, we were not able to freeze all the stuff we wanted either. My two local small shops are notorious for selling fruit and veg which lasts 2-3 days is we're lucky
  • not everyone had an amazingly stocked pantry before, nor space to buy a lot of items with long shelf life
  • one's person essentials are not the same as other people- the fact someone do not consider something as essential does not mean it is also not essential for other people and the other way round
  • not everyone has a car and can do a huge shop infrequently
  • not everyone has an amazing support network
  • not everyone is lucky to have enough money to make one big shop a fortnight
  • not everyone has local shops which deliver to your doorstep- we have nothing in our area, no butchers, no corner shops do home deliveries so we depend on ourselves having to go out and actually hope we can buy what we need
  • not everyone has equipment, know how and/or ingredients to make lets say bread or whatever else people think you can magically whip up on the spot.
  • some people do not have a great support network, and asking strangers to do a huge shop is not always possible

I'm sure there are other reasons too, we all have different needs.

I think isntead of shouting at others that they dare to go out shopping, maybe lets just accept that without knowing the circumstances it may be best not to judge? Everyone is doing their best with what we have.

OP posts:
Deux · 01/04/2020 11:13

There are Tesco slots available in my area for tomorrow so I think some areas must be much worse than others. However our area is delivered to everyday and where my parents live they can only get deliveries on a Tuesday under normal circumstances.

1984isnow · 01/04/2020 11:14

I think some on here won't be happy until the gov asks for volunteer stocktakers, to check cupboards before issuing shopping passes.

Taddda · 01/04/2020 11:16

@NewYearNewJob123 Your incredibly brave in your post Flowers - I'm really hoping someone can post something much more helpful to you right now but I just wanted to let you know that you are heard- x

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 01/04/2020 11:16

@AlternativePerspective Also making a good/edible bread is not super easy either (I would know, as not so long time ago I made an indedible brick experimenting with some leftover flour- great for self-defence if someone wanted to break into our house though, that thing could kill!). Aside from the fact that there has been no flour in stores, it takes a bit of practise, unless you have a decent bread machine. Same with pasta or whatever else. People who baked before would be fine, but if you have limited resources, this is probably not the best time to experiment too.

OP posts:
ToastyFingers · 01/04/2020 11:20

Sigh. I work in a shop, in the last day I've seen people buying:
3 wham bars
A single packet of crisps
A 500ml bottle of coke
A lottery ticket for a draw several days away
TV guide magazines

And just about every non-essential item you can think of. We've had to put a sign up now saying scratchcards can only be purchased as part of an essential shop.

The same people are still coming in every day for their daily paper or their Costa-machine coffee.

ToastyFingers · 01/04/2020 11:22

I'm sorry newyearnewjob123 I don't begrudge you your trips out at all but I'd bet you're not one of the people verbally abusing us or throwing things when you can't buy scratchcard or similar.

Deux · 01/04/2020 11:22

On the subject of bread. I’ve made no knead bread that you bake in a cast iron casserole dish in a super hot oven. It was great and you can make it with just ordinary flour.

ToastyFingers · 01/04/2020 11:25

And just to clarify, I don't care what people buy if they're also shopping for food, put putting people at risk for Only a chocolate bar isn't the same as putting a bunch of daffs in with your essential shop.

Deux · 01/04/2020 11:27

This whole argument about what is and isn’t essential is ridiculous. Anyone can buy anything that is for sale in any shop that is permitted to trade. Even the government have clarified this.

The economy is collapsing around our ears and so many people don’t seem to realise this.

AlternativePerspective · 01/04/2020 11:36

@ Deux can we have a recipe?

okiedokieme · 01/04/2020 11:39

@NewYearNewJob123

Please call your local mutual aid group, someone will be able to call you regularly.

kilisibird · 01/04/2020 11:39

The same people are still coming in every day for their daily paper or their Costa-machine coffee.

I don't understand the problem. Newspapers are still being printed with the expectation that people will buy them. What is wrong with that?

GabsAlot · 01/04/2020 11:40

i think its ridiculous to go infor a chocolate bar and nothing else that shouldnt be allowed

but a few times to do it because you cant fit everything in at home is fine

our tesco is only letting one person in at a time didnt see one child today-of course there are exceptions

Deux · 01/04/2020 11:42

@alternativeperspective. Yes sure, delighted to.

www.jennycancook.com/recipes/faster-no-knead-bread/

This is the one I used. She handily has great videos too. I’ve done a few of her recipes and they all turned out well. Also did her no knead rolls and used a mix of ordinary flour and spelt I found in the cupboard and they were lush.

Deux · 01/04/2020 11:43

Sorry @AlternativePerspective

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/04/2020 11:45

ToastyFingers how and why are scratchcards essential? I mean, if you're going to be so ridiculously judgemental about the rest of what people shop for why not just veto them?

Or, just find another job, honestly. I so sick of seeing posts like yours. There are some amazing supermarket workers out there.. and then there are moaners who just use instances as post-fodder. Ugh.

ilovecakeandwine · 01/04/2020 11:46

i think its ridiculous to go infor a chocolate bar and nothing else that shouldnt be allowed
I agree it's ridiculous but if it's someone who hasn't left the house for days and feels like a walk to the shop for a bar of chocolate . You can't police purchases or no newsagents would be open it's about common sense . It's like supermarkets have said please only shop on own if possible as previously whole families would come out like it's a day out . It's not always possible so you can't ban children but if you can leave them at home ,

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/04/2020 11:46

Thanks for the receipe link, Deux, I'm a rubbish baker but determined.

MintyMabel · 01/04/2020 11:51

The three item limit is the issue for us. Three loaves of bread, three tins of beans and three carrots won’t last much more than a week for us.

Oakmaiden · 01/04/2020 11:52

I really really want to go to the corner shop to buy a bar of chocolate.

I know it is not essential. I am trying to think of something essential we need so I can justify it. Maybe I will make my children drink all the milk at lunchtime - then we will need to go to buy more milk.

TheSecondMrsAshwell · 01/04/2020 11:52

Deux yes recipe please - I can't get strong flour, but have heaps of plain and even a couple of bags Type 00.

One thread on here, one of the posters said they were "absolutely raging" that they saw someone they had decided was high risk in the supermarket.

I wondered whether I had accidentally wandered into the Daily Mail website.

Deux · 01/04/2020 11:52

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe, I’ve not had any of her recipes fail and I like watching the videos too. I don’t have the patience for anything too complicated. Good luck

Deux · 01/04/2020 11:56

For recipes and accompanying YouTube tutorials. Jenny Can Cook.

Bread one here, scroll down and the video tutorial is at the end. US terminology but all purpose flour is plain flour according to google

www.jennycancook.com/recipes/faster-no-knead-bread/

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/04/2020 11:56

Thank you, Deux, the omens are good as my name is (also) Jenny! Grin

goshdarnitjanet · 01/04/2020 12:02

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Or, just find another job, honestly. I so sick of seeing posts like yours. There are some amazing supermarket workers out there..

This - we had a local shop worker who got increasingly vitriolic on a local facebook page about what people were buying to the point I was avoiding going near the place in case my essentials were not essential enough and also actually worried about her mental health. I think someone may have had a word with her manager though as they appear to have been removed and its gone quiet