To ask how the hell you got your child to fall asleep independently?

[Goostacean]

As per title... DS is almost 4mo, specifically 16 weeks. We have a predictable schedule but he feeds or bounces (yoga ball) to sleep. It can take up to 20mins, which is not working for me with a 2yo at home as well.

What did you do?!

Please don’t tell me “that’s just how it is”, as usually happens on sleep-related threads

4 to 6 months is generally hellish for sleep as baby's biological sleep patterns change at this age. I would just do what you need to do to get through the nights and then work on making gradual improvements to support self settling at 6 months.

Are you asking for your 4 month old or 2 year old?

If 4 month old, it's unlikely they will self settle at this age. However, to get them to sleep, they need comfort. We found swaddling and a dummy really helped.

For our 2 year old, it's all about having an established routine so she knows it's bedtime - bath, warm milk and then cuddles. I put her down awake and as she knows it's bedtime, she usually self-settles after about 20 minutes or so.

Asking for the 4mo. 2 year old is a star- solid bedtime/nap time routine, big cuddle, big kiss, shut the door, job done. Sleeps 8pm-7.30am (and today until 8.45!), and usually naps for 90mins-3hs! No complaints. He recently started waking in the night which seems to have been linked to potty training, but that has stopped now.

The 5mo is usually up twice a night, which is quite frustrating...

2 of mine slept from 7pm-7.30am at that age. You just wait until they're tired and then put them in their cot in a dark room after a nice bath and their milk.
Make nice soothly noises and retreat slowly from the room, they then go waaaahhhhh for a bit and you ignore them and they go to sleep.

We didn't do this with DS1 and he was an appalling sleeper, he wasn't sleeping through until after DS2 was.

The “after their milk” bit is where it goes wrong because he drops off whilst nursing...

So just put them straight in their cot when they fall asleep.

DS was fed to sleep but as feeds spaced out as he got older he became happier to be put down awake but sleepy and fall asleep by himself, around 10 months. I’m not sure at 4 months you’re going to be able to achieve this without sleep training, and I’d say it was a bit early for that. I’m not a huge fan of sleep training but that’s just my opinion. Appreciate it will be more difficult with a toddler too. Can you read your toddler a story while feeding the baby and then start a little routine beyond that? At 4 months we had quote a few ups and downs with sleep regression so I think if you can just go with whatever works in the short term at bedtime and get through that, it will get better soon

I woke them up if they fell asleep nursing and did pick up put down to teach them the cot was a safe space.

I have 5 and i put them all down awake with a dummy at that age with no problems. Maybe i was just lucky though.