To ask if you agree with my decision making here?

[spicyricecake]

My circumstances are that I'm a single parent of 2 DC, 14 and 8. I am disabled and also immunocompromised. I'm a key worker in a pretty stressful role working from home - I'm not self isolating but trying to follow social distancing and lockdown guidelines.

I have a partner who does not live with us normally, he lives alone, very nearby, however he is staying with us for the purposes of lockdown. He is furloughed and is helping me with childcare.

The DCs father has said he will not have the children during lockdown. I have decided not to put the children into school hub childcare as this is busy and presents a higher risk if them bringing the infection home to me. DC1 doesn't really need childcare anyway.

My garden was damaged in the floods and isn't suited to playing out until repaired.

Scenario 1 - trying to sort out a work crisis - should have been my day off. Lots of phone calls and stress. DC2 getting pretty restless as I need him to be quiet. DP needed to go back to his empty house to collect more clothes etc, he offered to take DC2 so they could play out in the garden there for a bit and get them out of my hair so I could resolve work issue. They also took a walk from DP's house and grabbed some fresh bread and fruit before coming home. No close contact with anyone outside our household, only shop assistant at a distance.

Scenario 2: my sister has a v young baby, is self isolating for respiratory conditions. Her online shop was missing her baby formula. I managed to add formula to the shop I had booked and it arrived. We drove it to my sisters house, left it on the doorstep and waved through the window, then left. No contact. On the way home we stopped at a local lakes and took a walk as a family, observing social distancing. The lakes are technically walking distance from home, but I cannot access them from this direction as I use a mobility scooter and the route from 'my side' isn't accessible, but a very short drive takes you to the main entrance which is accessible with smooth paths that I can use. Doing this is the only way I can walk with the kids/DP as the pavements in my area are too narrow for my scooter and it's not safe to drive it in the road (we are semi rural).

Would you agree with the choices I made in the two scenarios above and if not, how seriously would you class them as putting my children at risk?

(Namecganged for this but long time poster, cutted up pear, TEKL, etc)

It sounds like you have some anxiety over your children's safety if you're asking about two (to my mind) completely innocuous situations on here. I'd really ask MN to move this out of AIBU as you may get some fairly strident replies (MN is a little batshit at the moment).

I think it sounds as if you have made the best decisions you could, in the circumstances, and I don't think you have put your children at much risk either.

I'm not entirely sure what you're asking about? But nothing I either of those scenarios seem at all controversial to me.

Lockheart, I'm quite prepared for strident replies, I welcome them. I appreciate your concern for my emotional wellbeing though! I do genuinely want people to be honest.

To avoid drip feed, following scenario 1 I was reported to social services. Following scenario 2 I was reported to the p I'll ice for both scenarios, with additional information being given about DPs car being "observed parked outside my home overnight".

Both agencies have assured me THEY have zero concerns but I want to know if the average Mnetter on the street thinks what I did was ok, so I can try to understand why these reports were made.

Not p I'll ice. POLICE. Ffs.

By whom I wonder?

Even with no backstory both of those situations seem totally fine to me.

Our local paper is asking people to check the actual guidelines before reporting people for violations!

I think your decision sound good.

I think they are reasonable decisions op. I feel sad that someone is callous enough to report you.

Sounds like one of your neighbours is Mary Whitehouse OP (it's more about your partner than CV)

Hi OP , I am with the authorities that you have made sensible decisions here. There are waaaay too many people, in real life and on MN who seem to enjoy judging others extremely harshly.
All the best to you and your family, doing your best in some challenging times 💐

Also, I am hating this position we seem to have landed in o people snitching on their neighbours. I find it scary and intrusive.

I am following the rules. I don't like feeling that I could be being watched. I know it is possible that I am being though. There can be a fair bit of curtain twitching around here (a large village, but fairly rural) and the bush telegraph goes into overdrive.

Who is reporting you and why? Situation 1 should only have been reported to social services if there was a concern over your partner. If both have given you the all clear ask them what they're going to do about the person who ( I assume) maliciously reported you.

Of people snitching on their neighbours!

The person reporting was the children's father. There's quite the backstory with controlling behaviour but I just wanted to know if anyone thought he had valid reasons for concern.

There are no concerns about the children being with my partner. The expressed concern was that we were 'breaking lockdown rules by taking the children all round other people's houses'. No mention was made of the children being in DPs care being of concern (nor should there be).

I think what you have done is fine, and your neighbours either have too much time on their hands or have zero worries so they want to create them for someone else!!

The person reporting was the children's father. There's quite the backstory with controlling behaviour but I just wanted to know if anyone thought he had valid reasons for concern

Controlling prick.

There should be fines for vexatious reporting.

Your ex is a twat. Simple

Unless you’re trying to protect an expensive garden, your children may have a great time playing in the mud & water.

The person reporting was the children's father.

Stop telling him your business! He clearly had a shit load of information to be able to report specifics such as you being at the lake in DPs car after dropping milk at your sisters. Seriously. Why does he know the minutiae of your day?

You're fine, op, imo. Put it behind you.

both are absolutely fine, ex is just being difficult

God, it's really not expensive 😂

However the issues isn't so much mud as the fact that fencing was destroyed and it's now open to steep banking and a dangerous waterway that runs alongside (full of debris and metal etc after floods). There's also rubble on the grass from people breaking the wall above the adjacent waterway to divert floodwater. It's not safe, as opposed to being a bit muddy, and I'm worried that climby active DC2 will get hurt.

@JuanSheetIsPlenty I don't communicate with him unless absolutely essential. He does talk to the kids though. And apparently passed us in the car near my sisters and assumed we were visiting her.