Shitty experience on supermarket

[TinyStripe]

Went to supermarket today. First day out after 14 days at home. Shoppers we're all pretty vigilant about social distancing but a few staff members didn't bother. One walked past me from behind and actually brushed past me then stopped dead on front of me. I asked if she wouldn't mind moving 2 metres away. She apologised and smiled and didn't seem too bothered by my comment. I felt my frustration levels rising and ended up finishing my shop early. I was there with my son. Someone in the queue said 'cannot believe how many selfish fuckwits bring their kids to the supermarket' - clearly aimed at me. I ignored. WIBU, to feel frustrated by the lack of social distancing, and by the comment? WIBU to take my son to the supermarket, considering I am a single mother living on my own? I burst in to tears in the car (ok, a lot of this is also due to being at home with my son and feeling really low in general). Just not a great experience and feel nervous to go shopping again in a couple of weeks.

I think with the staff, they’re so used to still being around people that staying 2m away is unlikely to help them.

Just think, you’ve not been out in 2 weeks, but they’ve been there every day surrounded by people, so staying away isn’t a big deal to them.

It's such a horrible time. I wouldn't judge someone for having a child with them. I've seen lots of people ignoring the 2 metre thing which annoys me too. I can't face supermarkets right now.

I think with the staff, they’re so used to still being around people that staying 2m away is unlikely to help them.

Just think, you’ve not been out in 2 weeks, but they’ve been there every day surrounded by people, so staying away isn’t a big deal to them.

Agree with this. For people who have been at home, watching stuff on TV and reading it online, going out to the supermarket is like an expedition and the main thing on their mind is to stay 2m away from others for that hour or so. For many of those out working every day, it just isn't something that can be maintained constantly while they do their job. Do you think school staff and children still in schools can always maintain 2m between them? Care staff? Lots of people who are working are being exposed to risk for hours every day, not an hour or two a week that it takes to do a shop.

Went to the supermarket for the first time in 10 days on Sunday to get a few things eg bread, fresh fruit and veg. Not planned but got there within the first hour of opening when open for NHS staff and over 70s. As I'm 70 I went in - to verbal abuse from a chap waiting outside to the effect that I was perfectly fit. Nice! Wonder what he would have said if he saw me leaving with loo rolls plus a bottle of gin 🤔

I think we should change shopping to a conveyor belt sort of affair. We sit two metres apart, and as the shopping comes past, we push the items we want into the trolley under the belt.

My shop feels like this at the moment, because as I'm looking at something (like the shelf where the fish used to be), someone comes up behind me, so I move along - usually missing something I needed but not wanting to go back. So I kind of get swept round looking longingly at what I could have had if I hadn't felt the need to move on to keep distancing!

I find it’s impossible to keep 2 meters away from other shoppers in the supermarket. I think unless they start operating a one way system you’re always going to encounter a shopper walking in the opposite direction down the aisle.

2 meters is difficult as you pass people. Not everyone is self aware. When trying to get at the same items, who should yield? If you aren’t 2 metres apart, whose fault is it? Yours or theirs?

Some people have no choice but to bring children to the supermarket. How else would single mums and their families eat?

If you have local corner shops and any Coops I’d recommend shopping with them. Our local corner shop owners are amazing. They deliver the newspapers, they will bring milk, eggs, bread and toilet rolls as well as a few other bits and pieces.

Our local Coop is THE best! Not a big shop but open at 6am. I went this morning just after 7am and I got:

Potatoes. Onions. Bacon. Sausages. Two steaks. A couple of Cornish pasties. Bread. Milk. Cheese. Butter.a packet of toilet rolls! 👏👏 and just for good measure, two bottles of red wine.

I have no desire to go near a big supermarket. There were just three other shoppers in the Coop and the two lads who were working there were wonderful. They were helpful and polite. I wish I could get them some kind of award.

I had to get medication from Asda pharmacy today for dh. There was a queue to go in as they limit numbers. Everyone was respectful and kept their distance until a man arrived, pulled up in his car and began selecting compost bags. He kept going up close to people, sweating profusely and must have bought six bags carrying each one to his car parked on double yellows.

Aldi don't have as many measures in place but again fairly respectful last week until a couple came in determined to get their shop and kept getting up very close to people. Sadly as hard as the supermarkets try, they cannot legislate for selfish, entitled people.

Minor niggles were that I was refused more than four individual tins of dog food. They did not have the usual packs - if I bought the usual 4 packs (of 6)it would have been 24. I had to return one of the tins. I have two dogs who would be less than delighted with their dinner stash.

Pharmacy assistant - young girl acting in a very theatrical manner about people keeping back - which they were all doing. I asked how we could possibly pay using card. She said we would be asked to approach,she then she ran for the door shouting from a distance that we could remove our cards.

Ugh .... it makes me totally nauseous when people just don’t adhere to the safety rules
It’s dangerous to be slack !
I feel your pain

YANBU but if it makes you feel better NONE of us are enjoying this, especially supermarket shopping; I literally feel traumatised every time I've been in there, it's just awful.

A tweak in outlook re: home isolation is required to cope, you are not "stuck" at home, you are SAFE at home.

I'm a keyworker and my team were informed we're treating Covid patients going forward: I cannot emphasize enough how frightened they all are and would give their right kidney to have the option to stay at home right now.

Ultimately it's about perception.

I'm really anxious about having to shop this week too, but for practically the opposite of what you experienced! I was barked at by several shop assistants for being too close, and for not understanding that I had to be two floor markings away instead of one. And when I say too close, I wasn't even in arms reach of them, i was a good meter and a half away trying to get something off the shelf. The hostility and suspicion of staff and other shoppers was something I had not been expecting, and I'm not looking forward to running that gauntlet again tomorrow!

You are not wrong. As I was waiting in the queue a man came up behind me and started dithering around.

I stand with my trolley behind me. That way I keep control over how close I get to someone in front of me and can shove the trolley between be and whoever is behind,

I went to marks and Spencer's today for a food shop, yes staff were totally not bothering , some examples the lady working on the till I was at said something to another worker, just chit chat, she couldn't hear her so came right next to me, on my way out two staff chatting at the end of self checkouts and because I'd have had to go very close I stood and waited, one waved at me to say pass, I said I can't, not allowed to get that close. Some customers ok, others not trying. It's quite stressful and I appreciate the workers are keeping us going but everyone has to stick to the rules or else this won't be over!

I asked the security guard on the entrance to our local supermarket whether I could put my shopping in my string bags as I shopped, as they were see through. He kept going on about a woman asking whether she could shop with her see through things... and on the way out told me that would ‘keep him going all day’.

I didn’t complain because it was weird enough going shopping as it was... but, ugh.

I’m really not enjoying shopping at the moment, but I couldn’t get through to our farm shop- who deliver at the moment.

The way other people chose to behave, or behave without thinking is not something you can control. Crying when you got back to the car is a sign that you are unsurprisingly very stressed. This unlike the behaviour of people around you is something you can control: in the long hours of lock down look after yourself! If you can get outside do and exercise; and make space in your day for something that gives you joy. Finally, it sounds a bit hippy dippy, but take a moment at the start, or end of each day, to think about the positives in your life; your son, your resilience anything that you are doing well. For example connecting with 160 people today! Above all remember there will be an end to this madness.

I feel for you OP, I'm in a similar situation, single mum with an almost 2 year old so I have to take him with me, I keep him in the buggy and make sure he doesn't touch anything or get close to anyone but it still feels bad enough without staff members standing right next to us or squeezing past!
Worse than that, as I was leaving Morrisons on sat, the security guard chased me, put his hand on my shoulder and accused me of not paying for my shopping! I've never been so shocked and embarrassed and angry and terrified all at the same time! Even worse, he then walked us back in the exit door through the foyer so people were filing right past us, then ordered me to stand in the entrance (which is 1 metre wide) while he went to check if I'd paid! At least 20 people had to squeeze past us! Then he simply stuck his head round the corner, shouted that he was really sorry and told me to go on my way! I'm still seething about the entire experience, I feel like I should be doing something about it but I've no idea what?
We're all stressed as hell just now and experiences like yours and mine can push people over the edge. Hope you're feeling better now OP.

Now I’m even more terrified of going to the shops I can leave my twins with my older kids but tensions are brewing between kids and I worry they will just bicker and fight when I’m away meaning the two little ones who are also acting up in these trying times. They miss their daddy who should be due home soon from the merchant navy but now he isn’t and they don’t understand and forget what we have told them. I have to go the post office in the morning to send a package of stuff to my husbands ship as it contains creme eggs one for each on board plus some essentials for my hubs as he hasn’t enough stuff onboard like his dermatitis cream (took long enough to find one that works) and dpd won’t ship chocolate then others not lotions so post office it is. Hoping it’s not too stressful really wanted to get this picked up this is making my anxiety go insane

@allanaw929 I’d be fuming at that! I’m afraid I’d make a massive fuss/complaint. He should not be touching customers!

was in my local [unnamed supermarket it wasnt their fault they have an advisor at the door] it was like the king and I loads of the little sod* erm I mean children must have been 15 of them with grandad in his pyjamas trolley full of nappies bread etc our till lass clare is a south african wont take their crap for of any item that would be FOUR of course he got uppity and abused her Clare the little darling then voided his shop reciept and told them to leave our Clare speaks about 8 languages and can passable in another five got himself banned

so most of us in the queue even in this time of problems could have a little laugh strange how we all felt that little bit better

If you were talking about other shoppers I would agree. But you’re not. You’re talking about members of staff trying to do their job. They can’t spend the whole day trying to avoid customers. The onus is on you to stand back. They’re placing themselves in harms way for us. Get a grip. Step back. Certainly don’t stand there and ask them to move.

You're totally right @Cherrysoup and the touching my shoulders wasn't even as bad as making me stand in the doorway while everyone had no choice but to squeeze past the buggy. It still makes me cry 4 days later. If my son gets ill it will be his damn fault

I wont hear a word against the supermarket staff at present.
They are working just as hard as a lot of NHS staff (I'm NHS) and for minimum wage and increased risk.
Gawd Bless em.
As for the pharmacy staff, my God they deserve medals. Being coughed on all day and then abused as well for not having enough meds or hand gel isnt anyones idea of fun.

@Iwanttobeagranny They've implemented one way systems in the supermarkets near me, if they haven't you should suggest it, it definitely helps