Shitty experience on supermarket

[TinyStripe]

Went to supermarket today. First day out after 14 days at home. Shoppers we're all pretty vigilant about social distancing but a few staff members didn't bother. One walked past me from behind and actually brushed past me then stopped dead on front of me. I asked if she wouldn't mind moving 2 metres away. She apologised and smiled and didn't seem too bothered by my comment. I felt my frustration levels rising and ended up finishing my shop early. I was there with my son. Someone in the queue said 'cannot believe how many selfish fuckwits bring their kids to the supermarket' - clearly aimed at me. I ignored. WIBU, to feel frustrated by the lack of social distancing, and by the comment? WIBU to take my son to the supermarket, considering I am a single mother living on my own? I burst in to tears in the car (ok, a lot of this is also due to being at home with my son and feeling really low in general). Just not a great experience and feel nervous to go shopping again in a couple of weeks.

I know what you mean op. Asda allowed far too many people in on the weekend (they were limiting numbers but was still far too many) so social distancing was hard. In the queue in asda someone stood right behind me nowhere near the 2m - the person was in asda uniform so should've known better really.

I don't believe for one moment a tesco worker shouted at someone just for being there.
Unless he was an NHS worker still wearing a uniform and she felt it wasn't safe to be wearing it out!

Same in boots today. I went in for my script, and was in the little hut /hatch where you get given suboxone or methadone. When leaving the guy behind me squeezed back as though I was supposed to squeeze past him, no way was it 2m. I asked him to leave the hut so I could exit (literally 2 feet away) and he said for fucks sake. I apologised but said if I had something I don't wanna give it to him. People on the street drinking cans of super in groups of 4.no police to be seen either today.

@SSD - it's true.

This is a national crisis. I think you need to be a bit more stoically in all honesty. No one got hurt, you got your shopping without having to make alternative arrangements for your child. Shop workers are under a strain so maybe you could have moved?

Lots of people are angry and frustrated at the situation and that's perhaps causing their attitudes. My advice is to ignore any stupid comments.

It sounds as though you were sensible about social distancing and that's all you can do.

In the nicest way, please try not to pass on your fears and upset onto your son. It's a difficult situation but crying when he's in the car with you is traumatic for a child.
You will have to shop again so you'll have to put a brave face on and do it.

It must be difficult being on your own with a child. Try not to develop a phobia towards going out for supplies. Apart from a brief time near the shop assistant you observed all the guidelines and didn't put others or yourself at unnecessary risk.
I hope you're ok

I had similar yesterday.

I was doing my bit waiting to be called forward to the self service conveyor belt thingy.

Started scanning my shopping as instructed then the assistant got called away. Along came 2 young women, say 20ish, totally ignoring the unmissable lines on the floor and proceeded to put their shopping right next to mine then bumped into me!

I politely turned and said "excuse me, would you mind standing behind the line and please wait" Cue a stream of eff words as they grudgingly moved back but in defiance on my side of the line rather than theirs.

Refusing to rise to the onslaught of laughing and more abuse, I packed up and off I went.

As I was putting the stuff in the boot they walked right past me, stopped and both started coughing at me, whilst laughing.

Their parents must be so proud.

So why did she shout at him and not everyone else, what was different about him?

@redhelenb you say nobody got hurt. That in my opinion is a weird way to look at it. Isn't the whole point of this to prevent people from getting hurt?

Thanks @smileyclare. He's only 17 months old. He had no idea I was upset.

@Meaniebobeanie

People think you’re not allowed to take kids out. To be fair. We haven’t been out in a while now. Because people keep bending the rules to make it ok to think they can break them. It’s those people who will film my kids. Why? Because we shouldn’t be out?

I’m being shielded. So we haven’t been out in a while now. But I can’t get over how many people are like. Oh well. It doesn’t apply to me. That’s why this virus spread. Like the woman who flew from China with a temp! To America. Those people.

Shopping can be quite a stressful or frustating task at the moment, depending on how you look at it. I had an old taller lady looking over my shoulder the other day, I'd have happily moved over if she asked me. Someone was actually on their mobile the other day, having a chat in front of products.

Can't remember how it was worded, but I thought Boris said something about shopping on your own, the only exceptions he anticipated was single parents. Some shops are limiting it to one person (Tescos apparently bringing it in) regardless of your situation, I guess this and couples not shopping together will limit customers and help.

I’m sorry you had an awful experience this morning OP. I think part of the problem is that some people are very uptight about the virus and the rest are selfish twats. I hope your day improves, it’s best to try not to dwell on it, hard I know.💐
I had a similar experience last week when I went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription and came home feeling as if I never wanted to go out again.
However, I went shopping this morning and went into the Co-op, I was surprised that there was no limit on the number of people allowed in the store and their only acknowledgement that there was a pandemic was a table with a roll of wet wipes to sanitise your hands. Unbelievably some people had just left the used wipe on the table because they obviously couldn’t see the adjacent large bin. Virtually no fruit or veg so I left and went to Lidl. Much more organised and lots of fresh fruit and veg and I was pleased to see the cashiers had Perspex screens for protection. The young lady was very pleasant so a much better experience than last week.

Actually in this instance you sound a bit ott.
If I read this right one member of staff got close to you and you asked them to move away and they smiled, were pleasant and moved.
And then there was some moaning and comments by the till. This was mean but people are being a bit silly and the moment and you were right to ignore.
But that wasn’t a horrendous experience. Just two small things in a ridiculously stressful time for us all especially the shop assistant who will be there risking his/her own health to make food available for you to buy. They probably forgot about 2m distance because they are busy in the middle of their work shift.
I hope you got your shopping done and got what you need. Hopefully next time will be better for you.

Your not unreasonable and that dickhead that passed that unwarranted comment was out of order !

I’m a single mum too and unfortunately I don’t have anyone to leave my children with - so when I need to go shopping; they have to come with me. Simple as.

Obviously if not bringing them was an option - you wouldn’t bring them.

Can’t believe the nerve of some people ! Your a better person than me because I would have lost it

It's horrible and upsetting but try to let it go. Everyone is stressed and worried at the moment. We went to buy a car today before we're put into lockdown (not UK) as ours failed it's MOT and because of disability there's no way we can be without one. I snapped at DH the whole time as my anxiety was so high I couldn't cope with him asking me stuff. Then I burst into tears of relief when I got home and needed to go lie down. Trying times for everyone just now.

It's yet another stick to beat lone parents with, isn't it? I don't know what they expect people to do with small children. They can hardly be left at home on their own, can they?

I took the dog out today and as we left the building she saw another dog and started to go totally wild, barking her head off - she has her leg in a cast and it is turning her into a monster. I felt so embarrassed and unnerved by the loud barking that I walked down the street right past some people coming the other way, totally forgetting what was going on. Felt really stupid when I realised.

Is the situation really so negative in the UK? Here I've actually noticed some people being extra nice to one another - the cashiers seem friendlier if anything so far. Definitely a weird atmosphere, but for example I was taking something off a shelf last week and a woman came along and stood right back, waiting, then smiled at me gratefully when I chose the item and moved out of the way in a wide radius from her. Mostly here in Germany people just barge right in front of you as you stand there looking at the shelf . And I've spoken a lot more to neighbours (out of the window or standing at a distance as we pass by).

@SSD - I'm not sure. It was the day right after the announcement about stricter measures being taken so maybe she was slightly confused? My husband grabbed a basket from the front at the entrance and was minding his own business.

One of her colleagues did point out to her that if there weren't any customers, they would be out of a job. She then started shouting at him.

But DH didn't start a conversation with her, nor was the result of an angry exchange.

Maybe a few months ago, it would be the sort of thing he would have mentioned to a manager, but now the viewpoint is to keep human contact as far away as possible, not to mention that she was clearly volatile, probably under quite a bit of stress.

The whole thing was just so weird, so can understand it being unbelievable, but think is an illustration of how on edge a lot of people are.

I've not been into a supermarket for over 2 weeks, been able to make do with local shops but I do need to go this week.

I really don't want to as I'll have to take my youngest boy who has SEN.
Oh the judging from others, and his ability to just disappear in an aisle. We've been rehearsing being virtually glued to my side on our walks out. I might wear ear defenders so I don't hear the comments.

It must be very hard on your own with a 17 month old. I hope you have friends or family you are keeping in touch with? Remember the new system in supermarkets will get better as people get used to it. This lockdown isn't forever and things will improve. Try not to dwell on today. You're doing great.

Get outside with your son everyday if possible if you're feeling low. Fresh air a bit of sun and exercise really help with low mood.

In our supermarket the aisles are so narrow that we (the workers) are spending half our shift shuffling off and hiding in doorways to leave the ways clear for shoppers.

Next thing we've got angry customers yelling because the shelves aren't full. Shelves we can't get at because of having to stay 2m from the customers. Who are often coming in to browse around the shelves and go out with a packet of Doritos and an ice cream.

Everyone's trying their best. We just all need to cut each other some slack (from a 2m distance, obviously).

Our local tesco now has a one way system around the store everyone has to follow everyone else 2m apart. My son said it took him 1 1/2 hours to get round but at least people aren't pushed together. Apparently if you forget something on the way you can ask the shop assistants and they will get it for you.

I shopped in Sainsburys this morning and it was fine. People were polite and generally keeping their distance as far as possible.
The thing is it's quite difficult to maintain 2m all of the time when shopping in the supermarket - some people move more slowly, some people take ages to choose what they want, people are going both ways up the aisle and pick things from both sides. It would take twice as long to shop if you couldn't pass anyone or if you had to wait for everybody to move 2m away from items you want to pick up.