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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset that my dd's reception teacher has introduced set sanctions on her 2nd day at school?

18 replies

Jacanne · 11/09/2007 18:07

DD1 came home from school quite concerned about the sanctions scheme that her classteacher explained to them all today. Apparently they start off on a chart and if they break one of the "Golden rules" their name goes down a level, if they break another their name ends up back in the basket and they miss out on something. She was very worried because she couldn't read the Golden Rules or remember what they were.

I asked her what happened if the followed the Golden Rules all the time, but apparently they just stay on the chart.

I was a reception teacher and I would never have introduced something this negative, particularly so near the beginning of term. I would have gone with the more positive - if you are observed keeping one of the Golden Rules something nice happens.

DD1 is not an overly-sensitive child and it takes a lot to bother her but she now seems to obsessed by the "Golden Rules" and even her imaginary friends have made a come back (apparently they keep breaking them and are in big trouble).

OP posts:

FluffyMummy123 · 11/09/2007 18:09

Message withdrawn

ladymuck · 11/09/2007 18:11

Class rules are normal, but I have to say that in reception the teacher just puts on her teacher voice and that seems to do the trick most of the time. By Year 1 other sanctions are introduced, and various stars are awarded/deducted etc.

MegaLegs · 11/09/2007 18:11

DS2's Yr2 teacher told us today that she was going to be horrible to them for two weeks to get some discipline (really tricky class) and then she would strat to be nice. All the mums nodded (too scared)

goingfor3 · 11/09/2007 18:11

DD needed to keep to the rules, nothing was taken away from the 'naughty' children but after a couple of warnings they had to sit by themselves.

VagusPabo · 11/09/2007 18:12

Ask the teacher what the sanctions are, so your dd doesn't worry.

And make sure she punishes those imaginary friends

There may well be a reward scheme she hasn't registered in her concern over the sanctions.

LizaRose · 11/09/2007 18:12

I think that sounds very negative. At our school, if the kids keep the "golden rules" (which are very simple- be quiet at carpet time, listen to the teacher, don't hurt anyone etc) they get a star on a chart, and after 10 stars they get a "dip in the golden box". The box is full of right old tat- cheap plastic toys, pencil sharpeners etc. but the kids love it!

Original poster

Jacanne · 11/09/2007 18:20

I know class rules are normal - I have no problem with them - they are quite positive lots of do's rather than don'ts. It's just the emphasis on the negative that bothers me.

Sorry Cod, but I've not come across this in a reception class in any of the schools that I've taught at and it's quite contrary to the way I was trained to handle behaviour.

You're right VP - there may well be a reward scheme that she hasn't registered.

OP posts:

andiem · 11/09/2007 18:27

the golden rules at our school are linked to the golden time they get at the end of the week mind you I can't work out how they gain/lose golden time but my ds understands maybe they get golden time?

bearsmom · 11/09/2007 18:29

I think you're well within your rights to be upset. I can understand the importance of simple golden rules, but I'd have thought children are less likely to be able to remember, let alone follow, them if they're excessively anxious about them. They have enough to deal with in their first week in reception without this. It seems far too early to me and unnecessarily negative. I'm not a psychologist, but isn't there a danger that such a negative scheme will demotivate at least some of the children whose names end up in the basket and they'll give up trying to get back on the chart, i.e. they'll just carry on misbehaving?

HonoriaGlossop · 11/09/2007 18:59

i agree it's been negatively done. Our reception class did have a similar scheme but i think it was probably explained in a more gentle way and also the class had HUGE amounts of certificates, rewards and ways of praising the kids, so it didn't make ds overly anxious (though he has always been VERY keen to keep the rules!)

There have been a couple of kids in ds' class who really needed a firm hand and some very clear boundaries and I think what you describe is a good, stepped system of noting their behaviour etc, so I'm not surprised they use that.

Definitely tell the teacher though, that this is making your dd very anxious about school. The teacher really should take steps to explain more clearly the rewards system and to bring on your dd's confidence. I wouldn't just leave this - I'd mention it to the teacher asap.

Sounds like your dd is working out a lovely way to process her anxiety with her imaginary friends; sensible girl.

pointydog · 11/09/2007 19:08

Sounds a little severe for reception kids but your child might just have blotted out the positives for now. You need to have a chat with the teacher.

Original poster

Jacanne · 11/09/2007 19:24

I guess I do need to talk to her. I've been avoiding it because I'm overly conscious of being the "interfering Mum who used to be a teacher".

I have to say it is quite an eye-opener being on the other side of the parent-teacher relationship .

OP posts:

TellusMater · 11/09/2007 19:25

Do you need to say you used to be a teacher?

Original poster

Jacanne · 11/09/2007 19:27

No, but it came up in a previous conversation with the Head (trolling for supply in the future) so she may already know.

OP posts:

HonoriaGlossop · 11/09/2007 19:27

but did you not prefer the parents who actually wanted to communicate about their kids? I would have thought those parents are far more easy to respect than those who never respond or come when asked to talk about their kids?

I hope so anyway! Or else I may have just spent a year reely, reely annoying my ds' teacher

Original poster

Jacanne · 11/09/2007 19:29

Yes HG I did - it's always much easier to sort out a problem when you know what it is.

OP posts:

TellusMater · 11/09/2007 19:31

I would just ask what the reward system is. I wouldn't mention the sanctions at all. Unless there is no reward system. But I think that is unlikely.

Emzy5 · 11/09/2007 19:43

when i taught y1 we had golden time which is 30 mins per week (say fri afternoon). all ch start the week with the full 30 mins. if they break a class rule they get a warning, if they break it again they lose 5 mins of golden time. they can earn bak the time if they behave nicely. the kids pick what they want to do each week (icing biscuits, watching a video etc).

it does work! it's great because every child can have a reward, every week. unfortunately with some teachers and some reward schemes, e.g. giving stickers, certain kids always get the reward.

i would ask the teacher if she can explain the system to the kids again. also if she can't read the rules maybe the teacher can take some pics to stick up next to them e.g. Alwys put your hand up on the carpet - a pic of your ds and friends putting their hands up.

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