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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A local shop is refusing entry to single parents

619 replies

Throwaway667 · 28/03/2020 09:58

I feel completely enraged by this. With delivery and collection slots now going to the vulnerable (as they should) it’s becoming more difficult to buy essential shopping as it is.
To remove access to essential goods based on the person having a dependant they can’t leave at home is upsetting imo.
Surely this is discrimination?

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 28/03/2020 17:02

There is a difference between the rules MNers have in their heads and official government advice. Official government advice says to avoid going out to shop if you possibly can. Because the government recognises that starving to death is not a reasonable alternative.
But your solution is for givemeacalls vulnerable mum to leave self isolation to risk her own health to go shopping for a healthy person!
Its not a trade off between who deserves to keep safe over another.

SeperatedSwans · 28/03/2020 17:04

Well me and young DS have just got back from Aldi. I placed DS in the trolley with his tablet. I was questioned why I had brought a child, I stated I'm a lone parent, I have no other option. This was fine, we did a quick £40 shop and now won't need to go again for 2 weeks.

People attempting to shop in pairs were stopped and one told to wait outside. There was one other person in our small Aldi with a child also did the same in the trolley with a tablet.

Check out staff were lovely also, spoke to DS and they battered about the fair trade logo on my coffee.

I think just avoid the big supermarkets like Tesco and Asda. Friends have had issues going in there today with children so I've advised they try a smaller shop like Lidl or Aldi.

Also went to small local shop for gas and electric for my pre pay meter. Their shelves are bare, think they've been cleared out by the local residents who don't have a car to go shopping! So for those recommending corner shops for all single parents, I think they would soon run out of stock, then what?

Easilyanxious · 28/03/2020 17:06

What are liked of Spain or Italy doing re this does anyone know ?

alloutoffucks · 28/03/2020 17:08

@separatedswans It probably helped that your DS was in the seat in the trolley. I think it is reasonable that if a child is in the childs seat in the trolley or strapped in a buggy, they should get in.

Celerysam · 28/03/2020 17:09

It's not discrimination really is it. It's part of the measures to stop half the country getting very sick. It's temporary and has nothing to do with you leaving your child's father Hmm

Our village shop doesn't let children in at the moment because kids touch things.

Ilikepepper · 28/03/2020 17:10

It turns out the good thing about being a single parent is that you're immediately issued with a driver's license and a car (aka The Babysitter); a delivery slot; a support network that defies ill health, age and ultimately the guidance about avoiding mixing households; an abundance of volunteers even if you live in a remote area; and children who will not starve without access to food. Or perhaps you simply discover a magic cupboard with never ending supply of beer and lard and crisps (obviously that's what your magic children consume).

All children are created equally and equally entitled to food. Without obtaining food you will starve. If you think that's madness then please use this time to do an online biology course 😉

Being in contact with any of us puts shop assistants at risk. Some adults are not particularly clean or considerate. Some are very stubborn like the ones glued to the pub before they were properly closed. It's an illusion of control if you think avoiding kids will save you from the virus. Not having food on the other hand will definitely kill you.

alloutoffucks · 28/03/2020 17:10

ALDI are cheaper anyway.

Ragwort · 28/03/2020 17:11

Please if you have a volunteer, community type shopping service then use it; the one in my town currently has volunteers queuing up to get involved Grin. They are honestly very happy to shop for single parents, isolated people, elderly - anyone who needs that he,p.

I appreciate that perhaps not all communities have such a scheme but I genuinely think that most will.

alloutoffucks · 28/03/2020 17:15

Remote areas tend to have 1 shop where everyone knows everyone and they will serve you with your kids.

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 28/03/2020 17:15

and has nothing to do with you leaving your child's father

No contempt or judgement. Nope

SeperatedSwans · 28/03/2020 17:18

I didn't leave my child's father...he's in a mental health facility, his mind left him. Not something I planned for at all, or him I'm sure he didn't plan to suddenly be a danger to the public.

Not all of us are lone parents because we live on a council estate, shag everyone and have a brood of children supported on "benefits" but you just keep up with that stereotype 🙄

Wannabangbang · 28/03/2020 17:18

Hear hear ilikepepper it's astonishing the sort of people coming out of the woodwork of late that seem to think we have all these magical things floating about to help usGrinGrinGrin

SallySun123 · 28/03/2020 17:20

Get on the “Nextdoor” neighbourhood app and ask for help with shopping. You may have a local family near you willing to help you out. Good luck.

Willow2017 · 28/03/2020 17:20

I missed your solution to this specific problem. It must be well hidden in that turd you dropped on my suggestion.
Pointing out the impracticalities of your suggestion from 1st hand experience is not dropping a turd. If you dont want the truth of a situation dont suggest impractical solutions.
Today the store took on 20 new people just to cope with the current situatio: extra home deliveries, managing customers in store, cashiers, shelf filling, etc, etc. There is no one to do 'personal shopping' at the moment. Staff are working full out and doing extra shifts just to keep up.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 28/03/2020 17:22

No, still don’t see your solution. You must be whispering it.

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 28/03/2020 17:23

An important group is left out from the whole "shop wherever you can" rhetoric.

Children with ASD that only eat a particular type of something (wnd yes they know if it's different), children with limited/specific diets and issues around food, people with allergies and intolerances.

Other illnesses ,issues or disabilities didn't disappear because of Covid 19.

Willow2017 · 28/03/2020 17:23

It's temporary and has nothing to do with you leaving your child's father
Wtaf?
No no judgement at all!

CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate · 28/03/2020 17:26

I've written to my MP

Widowodiw · 28/03/2020 17:28

Well I’m taking my kids with me, I’m a widow with no alternative childcare at the best of times. No I won’t ask a neighbour to go shopping for me as their ignorant fuckers and not talked since I moved here. Some people really don’t understand the struggle of solo parenting at the best of times. I need to be able to get food for my kids.

73Sunglasslover · 28/03/2020 17:28

These are extraordinary times and we need to act in extraordinary ways. This is simply about disease transmission. Children touch things and wander away from their parents. They increase the risk of Covid-19 transmission and there more there is of that, the more people will die. I understand that this is not easy at all for single parents but there are lots of local networks available where strangers will get your shopping for you. Perhaps you need to get linked in to one of those and that could solve the problem without putting people's lives any more at risk than they already are?

Willow2017 · 28/03/2020 17:31

I never said i had a solution just that your suggestion wouldnt work just now.
Allowing single parents in with rules on behaviour is a start.
Maybe more consideration towards people who are on thier own without any help around them?
Maybe a volunteer group solely for single parents if anyone wants to take that on instead of using people already helping the elderly and vulnerable. There are only so many people who can actually volunteer. How much do.we expect them to do?
Single parents shouldnt need volunteers if they are able to do thier own shopping. Why put someone else at risk? If they cannot get basics in one shop how many times are they to go looking for them and for how many other people?

Btw
Do you have an actual solution?

alloutoffucks · 28/03/2020 17:33

@73sunglasslover Nah fuck them. Who cares if more people die. As long as I can continue to shop where I want for my kids.

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 28/03/2020 17:37

Do no adults touch things? Read ingredients? Get something and change their minds? Look through the whole shelf for the longest expiry date or best looking item?

Bloody octopus kids touching everything, when the civilised adults use wingardium leviosa and the Force.

alloutoffucks · 28/03/2020 17:39

Do you really think kids behave like adults in supermarkets? Have you actually met a child?

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 28/03/2020 17:44

But honestly most people complaining the most loudly have no real issues

We now have over 1000 people dead in this country and many more ill. One of whom is a member of my staff - young, healthy and one of the kindest, most helpful young men I've met. He might not survive. If we're very very lucky we will get away with only 20,000 deaths.

Restricting shopping to one person only, being under lockdown and other measures is all we can do to stop this disease spreading and killing more people. Normally I try and have compassion for a lot of people, but frankly at the moment the ones I have compassion and sympathy for are the ones in hospital beds not knowing they will make it home and the families waiting at home for news not being able to be with them.

Your children are your problem. Sort it out.

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