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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS had an accident, so my DM came over WIBU

93 replies

TheSheepofWallSt · 27/03/2020 19:51

DS (3) fell down the stairs (all of them), into a table and gashed his eyebrow. Lots of blood, lots of tears / hysterical sobbing and I couldn’t tell how bad it was so called DM who offered to come over.
I didn’t take DS to hospital as he’s asthmatic and wouldn’t want to directly expose him in that way - and 111 said it seemed unnecessary- but I did feel like I needed some support.

We’ve both been WFH for a week (two weeks in my case), and have been observing social distancing and both DS and DM are asthmatic so we’ve been quite careful.

Called 111 and waiting for a callback from a nurse - but DS has perked up in the last hour and is fine. Wound has stopped bleeding and he’s jolly etc. But DM did come. I’m making us all dinner and we’re doing normal family interaction- but I feel horribly guilty.

WIBU to let her come over? I’m a LP if it makes a difference...

OP posts:
heyjude12 · 27/03/2020 21:48

As a nurse I would have done the same thing. Head wounds are terrifying and falling down so many stairs can cause significant injuries. A second pair of eyes was very sensible in this instance. Can your mum stay with you now. Self isolation is easier with family I think xx

Cryalot2 · 27/03/2020 21:48

Sounds like both you and your son were in shock .
You did what was best for both of you given your circumstances. We can all say we would do xyz in certain circumstances, but as I have found out in reality you do not necessarily do that.
Your son has had a nasty fall. An you seemed to be in shock and need support. Cake be nice to both of and may your son be ok .
Its not easy being a parent at the best of times.

Willow2017 · 27/03/2020 21:51

You would of called an ambulance?! In the currently situation .. for a gashed eyebrow! Ffs, talk about over dramatic
Oh get off your high horse!
A 3yr old fell al the way down the stairs and hit his head on a table and was bleeding profusely! Thats pretty scary for anyone never mind on your own.

Op i would have done the same in your shoes. No way could you hold him diwn to apply a compress, clean him up, assess him, and phone by yourself. If you have all been inside for that length of time the risk is much less than going to hosp.

Hope you feel calmer now.

Lifeaback · 27/03/2020 21:51

It’s happened now and there’s nothing you can do about it. Best not beating yourself up about it, I can completely understand why you called her round- I can imagine it was very scary for you

Maryann1975 · 27/03/2020 21:56

A friend has done something similar (but not a gashed eyebrow) today. I think she did the right thing. It was an emergency and the child was far better being sorted at home with a (non elderly, low risk) grandparent helping than being taken in to hospital or even out in to contact with paramedics who may have been in contact with the virus.
And cooking dinner while she was there - don’t beat your self up over it. It’s done now. You’d already had contact before the meal, eating together won’t increase your risk of catching it I wouldn’t think?

Original poster
TheSheepofWallSt · 27/03/2020 21:56

@heyjude12

Thank you... I’ve worked in a&e’s a lot over the years and can find I’m either super blasé about some stuff - usually in relation to myself- ... other stuff, because I’ve seen the worst outcomes, i can get a little paranoid (kid who fell from height and seemed fine but had 3 fractured vertebrae has really stayed with me).

I’d love DM to stay, but we both have to wfh and she has to be IN her home to do so. We did say that if we all totally self isolate for another week and DS and I are symptom free, we’d move into hers until this is over as I can theoretically work anywhere.

Tonight / your comment has made me think we should probably do this...

OP posts:
MrsCVorFluWhoKnows · 27/03/2020 22:01

Your DM isn't elderly in the slightest so unless she has poor health I wouldn't worry. My DP is older and has a way better immune system than I do (I'm 47)

Hope your DS is ok

willowpatterns · 27/03/2020 22:02

Going to care for someone is allowed. In this instance, I think you probably came under that category.

namechangetheworld · 27/03/2020 22:04

I would have done exactly the same OP. I hope your DS is okay now.

saraclara · 27/03/2020 22:04

If I was a single mum of course I'd have asked for help.
People are still going to work and to the shops, FFS. Calling your mum when your toddler has fallen downstairs and you don't know how badly they're injured is absolutely okay and more necessary in comparison. A family of three, four, five, six are at vastly more risk of passing it on than you and your son who've been isolating for weeks.

Ignore the holier than though on here.

Rosebel · 27/03/2020 22:06

Not what I would have done as a risk is still a risk but no point feeling guilty about it because it's done now.

Inkpaperstars · 27/03/2020 22:08

You obviously are someone who is thoughtful and genuinely taking the restrictions seriously...this was a difficult situation and I think what you did will be ok. It is much less risk than interacting with medics or hospitals at this point, for you and other patients. So if calling your DM avoided that, then it was for the best.

Summersunandoranges · 27/03/2020 22:12

Yes I would have done the same if I needed too

OntheWaves40 · 27/03/2020 22:15

I’d be more bothered about calling 111 with a gashed eyebrow!

BogRollBOGOF · 27/03/2020 22:16

You needed practical support and she was a low risk way of getting it.

I once spent my lunchtime at work being bled on my a student who'd had her eyebrow split by a hockey ball. Her y11 classmates and I applied first aid and called up to the main school 500m away and they called an ambulance that took over 30 mins to drive out to the rural small town. It took 15 mins for the duty first aider to arrive and we'd already done what was necessary. She had butterfly stitches to close the wound. Obviously they were different times in more ways than one, but wanting support for dealing with an unpleasant and potentially complicated injury is not unreasonable.

Mummy0ftwo12 · 27/03/2020 22:16

OP - perhaps looks at this as a reason to get more confident to deal with first aid things yourself.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 27/03/2020 22:24

I wouldnt have phoned my mum no. I'm awful at coping when the children bleed but I'd have phoned 111 if I'd been rely worried about a child falling down the stairs and hitting his head

saraclara · 27/03/2020 22:25

I did the full first aid course when I was pregnant, @ Mummy0ftwo12 because I wanted to know what to do if my child had an accident. But when it's your own child, you still need another adult opinion and support if your kid has an accident like that.

My first aid trainer was extremely experienced, confident and feisty. She'd dealt with some huge accidents and traumas over the years. But she said that, despite all that, if anything happened to her kids, she was jelly. okay, she got on with stuff instinctively, but she was scared and wobbly in a way that she never felt when dealing with the victims of a road accident or resuscitating a stranger.

MintyCedric · 27/03/2020 22:25

Shit happens.

I've been trying to avoid my elderly (80s) parents as I work in a school. On Monday their phone line went down, which meant their emergency button wasn't working either and mum had inadvertently turned down the display on her mobile phone so was freaking out.

I had to pop round to sort it out. Kept it minimal, tried not to touch anything. We've no other family so it was the only option.

Hope your LO is better now.

tappitytaptap · 27/03/2020 22:35

I have moved in with my parents for the lockdown OP, so I would have done the same as you. So hard to be coping with a 3 year old and no company.

compulsiveliar2019 · 27/03/2020 22:45

Op I would have done the same. Ignore the holier than thou posters
Yes it was a small risk to have your mum over. But potentially a bigger risk not to have called her and got some help. Coronavirus hasn't suddenly become the only risk on the planet. People need to stop overreacting and use a bit of common sense.

Lynda07 · 27/03/2020 22:45

If all three of you have been self isolating I don't see the problem unless your mother had to get three buses or something to reach you.

I hope your son recovers well from his fall, bless him.

effiehabb · 27/03/2020 22:47

I would have done exactly the same as you op Flowers

PositiveVibez · 27/03/2020 22:55

Oh gosh this gave me a flashback OP. My DD is 11 now, but when she was 2, she fell down the stairs. I remember it as tho it were yesterday. She was fine and we decided against taking her to hospital and monitored her and all was good. Any signs or symptoms apart from a couple of bruises and I would have had her to a & e

I realise it's not the same situation, but I do so feel for you. Makes me go puce whenever I recall it 💐

WillYouDoTheFandango · 27/03/2020 22:58

DP was very unwell yesterday (neurological, still in hospital being assessed). On balance I felt it was less risky to take my DS round to my DPs who are self isolating (no risk factors) but not quarantined than to A&E. DS, DP and I have self isolated for 2 weeks prior to this.

You made a judgement call and that’s all you can do.