DS had an accident, so my DM came over WIBU

[TheSheepofWallSt]

DS (3) fell down the stairs (all of them), into a table and gashed his eyebrow. Lots of blood, lots of tears / hysterical sobbing and I couldn’t tell how bad it was so called DM who offered to come over.
I didn’t take DS to hospital as he’s asthmatic and wouldn’t want to directly expose him in that way - and 111 said it seemed unnecessary- but I did feel like I needed some support.

We’ve both been WFH for a week (two weeks in my case), and have been observing social distancing and both DS and DM are asthmatic so we’ve been quite careful.

Called 111 and waiting for a callback from a nurse - but DS has perked up in the last hour and is fine. Wound has stopped bleeding and he’s jolly etc. But DM did come. I’m making us all dinner and we’re doing normal family interaction- but I feel horribly guilty.

WIBU to let her come over? I’m a LP if it makes a difference...

Sorry have conflated two posters ... anyway. You get the idea. It wasn’t flippantly done, and it wasn’t a social call. And now I feel like shit.

Small risk is still a risk. I wouldn’t have done it.

I would have done exactly the same

OP you're always going to get holier than thou responses on here. It was a medical need, that's allowed. I went to the chiropodist today, because I'm part way through a course of treatment. That's allowed as a medical need so I'm pretty damn sure yours is ok!

" Risk risked, really."

But surely there's more chance of passing the virus the longer you stay together-more surfaces touched, less social distancing?

Feck it, you needed help. Let it be. Hope everyone will be fine now. People who live on their own or who are single parents need every iota of help they can get, whilst constantly washing their hands.

I think I would have done the same. You didn't invite her over for a cuppa and a biscuit. Your son was hurt and you needed help, in that moment, you did what you thought was best.

Honestly, I wouldn't dwell on it. You can't go back and change anything, all you can do is minimise the risk to yourselves and others going forward.

What's done is done and you are trying to convince yourself you did the right thing . You can't change it now but perhaps have a think about a "next time " potential . I am sure most mothers would do this if asked but would probably think WTF if I am honest ( and being your mother's age)

I'd have done the same if I had family nearby. Someone to hold the screaming toddler whilst you deal with the medical call is extremely sensible. You weren't out on a lark, it wasn't a social visit, it was help in a difficult situation.

Hope your child is feeling better and sleeping peacefully, and that you're feeling relaxed now.

I would have done the same thing x

When my ds fell down the stairs I rang my mum without even really thinking about it, so I get it!

I’m not sure it was the right thing to do but even if it wasn’t, it’s done now! Don’t make yourself feel worse by worrying about what you can’t change!

I hope your ds is ok

If it was my dc, I would call my midwife neighbour for help in a panic for her medical opinion of the wound (dms too far away and frankly useless in a panic). Heads do bleed like fuck though and it is scary if you've not experienced it before in your dc.

What's done is done. Just don't make a habit of it

Small risk is still a risk. I wouldn’t have done it.

Life is made of risks, though. Sometimes you can't completely avoid them, so have to go for minimum risk. As OP said, having her mother over to help was probably less risky than contacting a paramedic.

id have done the same. covid-19 doesn’t stop real life obstacles. im currently in hospital with a tonsil abscess and query sepsis so my mum has picked up 3 month old DS - she’s been self isolating too. there isn’t anything we can do in these situations.

Just spoke to a nurse from the 111 service- DS can stay at home - usual rouse hourly etc etc ...

I think he’ll be fine. Thanks for all the opinions - honestly given as usual for MN. I do feel guilty, but I know I did what I though was best- and I won’t be calling her for anything else (unless of course DS flings himself out of the window next...) so I’m going to leave this here

Thanks all

I’m a single parent and would have felt the same as you. I can understand why you called, I would want someone with me.

You and your partner have been socially isolating for a good period of time so not too risky for your Mum.

Sorry - no partner. Just me and DS. Might not have been clear originally... still a bit all over the place.

Am off though now. Haven’t washed my hands for 19 minutes

If you have both been at home for a week or two then the risk would be extremely minimal. Don't feel guilty.

Am off though now. Haven’t washed my hands for 19 minutes 😆😆 Great sign off OP!

I think you did the right thing. This wasn't a non essential gathering, you asked for urgent help from (young) grandma, a second pair of hands given his fall and injury. In an emergency you still have to act and balance what is best/least risky.

rightly or wrongly id probably have called an ambulance

You would of called an ambulance?! In the currently situation .. for a gashed eyebrow! Ffs, talk about over dramatic.
There are people out there that can’t breath from a killer virus at the moment and need an actual ambulance not to be taken up over a gashed eye brow! Ridiculous. No wonder the nhs is struggling if they get calls like that on top of there current work load.

It was fine OP I had a similar situation on Wednesday, DD managed to wedge her foot through her play size asda trolley while I was loading the dishwasher. DP at work (keyworker) It was stuck fast- needed cutting out - she was very distressed and I couldn't leave her, the sheds a pain in the arse to get into at the best of times. Not to mention if I'd have left her and not kept her calm she may of broken her ankle.
I called my dad, he swiftly visited with wire cutters and we cut her free, she had a quick cuddle with grandad (he's her favourite person in the world) and then he went home.
I thought that better than having to ring emergency services for something so silly and easily sorted.

@olawisk

No. For a fall from a height. An ambulance can be indicated for falls of more than 6 stairs.

The eyebrow is neither here nor there. I wasn’t to know at that point that the eyebrow was the only injury as my child was hysterical and I was unable to wipe away blood, assess his body for injury, check for 4 normal limb movements, or other cuts/bruises to the head. He was terrified because blood was pouring into his eye, which was making him hard to assess, and the screaming/sobbing was such that I was surprised the eye was the only injury.

That’s why I called my mother, and thats why I would have needed further help.

I wouldn’t of course have called an ambulance for that as the only injury. I WOULD have called if I hadn’t seen my child move 4 limbs or if he continued to scream hysterically for a prolonged period, for a fall of that distance.

I also wouldn’t have called my mother if I’d known it was just the head wound. But hindsight is a wonderful thing.

If I was your mum I would have wanted to make sure you were OK. I get that corona virus is huge, the main risk to all at the moment but it's not the only thing in life. (I'm a similar age to your mum hence my perspective)

We all have to do our best and be responsible, taking everything into account. And you were.

You needed help and your mother was probably the least-risky person to provide it.

It was an emergency, and she was less likely to have been a risk than the ambulance crew, especially as there are two of them. she was coming to help with a medical need.