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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think she really can't leave

69 replies

EmmaGrundyForPM · 24/03/2020 06:27

I picked up ds and his gf from uni yesterday. Gf is an international EU student and can't go home as no flights/lockdown etc. They have been together 2 years but we don't know her very well as they met at uni and in holidays she goes back home.

They were both upset yesterday as all their friends had suddenly gone and the enormity of what was happening hit them I think. I had said for the last couple of weeks that she was welcome to be with us.

In the car on the way home she suddenly said that her aunt, who lives in London, would come to our house at the weekend to collect her so she would only be staying with us for a few days. I said that wouldn't be allowed as aunt would be making a 90 minute non-essential journey to our house. She seems to think that this will be ok as she will be going to stay with her only relative in the UK.

I get that the prospect of living with people she doesn't know very well is daunting. Plus she and ds would be forced to sty in hi room for most of the time as DH, DS1. and I will all be wfh and needing the downstairs space during the day. But I really don't think she should go to London.

At the end of the day she and her aunt are both adults and if the aunt turns up I can't stop gf from going but AIBU to think this is contrary to what they should be doing?

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 24/03/2020 06:32

Could the aunt come today? I think there will be a few days of shuffling around, and would have preferred short notice (24 hours or so) to a lockdown. The weekend sounds a long time away.

Booboostwo · 24/03/2020 06:37

Why doesn’t she make her own way to her aunt’s house today?

She should also contact her embassy, there may still be repatriation options available.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 24/03/2020 06:42

I think the aunt is working and also doesnt have her own car but is borrowing a friends. Not sure though.

Gf could go to aunts I guess, but I would have to drive her to the station 12 miles away, she would then have to get train to London and then another train/tube to aunts house. GF has asthma and I really don't think she should be on public transport.

I'll have a chat with her when she wakes up

OP posts:
miccymaccy · 24/03/2020 06:48

It's essential for her to be with her family at this time. Help her get there and then she can stay put.

Citygirl2019 · 24/03/2020 06:55

I read on a page where parents still need to pick kids up from uni it is fine. But they do need to call 101, explain the reason why they need to travel, how they will travel (provide reg if appropriate), time and date of travel.

I'd advise the auntie to do the same. I agree with others she needs to be with family if she can.

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 24/03/2020 07:02

I’m extremely risk averse about these things but that to me would be fine.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 24/03/2020 07:03

Thanks @Citygirl2019. I didn't know that. I will.let her know

OP posts:
DustOffYourHighestHopes · 24/03/2020 07:03

I would drive my son’s gf there myself if it was 1-2 hrs away

YeahWhatevver · 24/03/2020 07:06

It's essential for her to be with her family

Pretty sure it's not at all essential

Soontobe60 · 24/03/2020 07:07

Friends of mine are stuck in France, having gone on a driving holiday two weeks ago. They are still allowed to drive back, and have a ferry booked for Friday.
She will be allowed to go down to London in a private car with her Aunt.

errorofjudgement · 24/03/2020 07:09

@Citygirl2019 - can you link to that advice please?

Poetryinaction · 24/03/2020 07:13

I think she should go.

Iorderedyouapancake · 24/03/2020 07:13

@Citygirl2019 yes it would be good to have a link to that advice- I would think 101 would be completely overwhelmed if anyone who needs to make a journey starts ringing them up to log it with them?

CloudyVanilla · 24/03/2020 07:14

I haven't seen anywhere that you need to call 101 regarding travel arrangements, is there a source for that?

Strangerthanstrange · 24/03/2020 07:15

Yes @citygirl2019 link please.

Booboostwo · 24/03/2020 07:15

Can she not get a taxi? These are extraordinary times that justify a one off cost.

midnightstar66 · 24/03/2020 07:17

A once off trip to bring a stranded family member home seems absolutely fine. No need for any contact from aunt with anyone else

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 24/03/2020 07:20

Poród sen to be taking this a bit overboard. Yes she should go to get aunt. Why would she want to spend God only knows how many weeks cooped up in a room in a house full of strangers when she can stay with her family member and have some liberty around the house at the very least. People suggesting a taxi, that would cost a lot and have the same effect really.

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 24/03/2020 07:21

*some people seem was meant to be the beginning of my post, terrible autocorrect!

EmmaGrundyForPM · 24/03/2020 07:26

@MonaLisaDoesntSmile. I appreciate your point. I guess last night i was thinking along the lines of she shouldnt be bending the rules, stay at home means stay at home. I appreciate she hasn't really got a home here though!

Aunt lives with her partner in a 2 bed flat so gf would have her own room which she might prefer.
I'll talk to her after I finish work tonight.

OP posts:
XoXoXo2 · 24/03/2020 07:27

Drop her off at her aunt's place.

bevelino · 24/03/2020 07:31

OP, the young woman needs to travel and stay with her own family rather than be with complete strangers. Please spare a thought about how worried her parents are likely to be.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 24/03/2020 07:31

@XoXoXo2. I could do that later this week I guess. The thing is i work 45 minutes away and so by the time i get home from work i really don't want to be doing a 3 hour round trip but of course i will if its deemed essential.

OP posts:
UntamedWisteria · 24/03/2020 07:31

Of course she should be allowed to go & stay with her family - there will be many people who were caught by last night's announcement in the 'wrong' place and will be allowed to travel onwards.

If DS girlfriend had been visiting us last night we would have allowed her to leave this morning & return to her family!

Citygirl2019 · 24/03/2020 07:34

I was clear it was a post someone made on another forum that last night after the new guidance they called 101 for advice. They shared the advice given. So no link, sorry.

If I was travelling miles from home on motorways I'd seek advice, but that would be my personal choice.

Clearly this would not be needed for local